Mid-August

PerpEph · Post by **PerpEph** » Tue Aug 18, 2015 5:33 pm

Mayo is wonderful.

Bleu Cheese is Satan's dandruff.

BearDown89 · Post by **BearDown89** » Tue Aug 18, 2015 7:33 pm

You guys are missing the point entirely. A sun kissed summer tomato with mayo, salt and pepper on soft white bread is a simple thing of beauty in and of itself. My great grandmother's old Italian gardener used to make them just like that when we were kids. They were perfect.

Any kind of hot cooked tomato, that is not sauce, is just a mushy tasteless waste of a good ripe tomato.

scumdevils86 · Post by **scumdevils86** » Tue Aug 18, 2015 7:42 pm

Never been big on the taste of raw tomato by itself

ASUHATER! · Post by **ASUHATER!** » Tue Aug 18, 2015 7:45 pm

BearDown89 wrote:You guys are missing the point entirely. A sun kissed summer tomato with mayo, salt and pepper on soft white bread is a simple thing of beauty in and of itself. My great grandmother's old Italian gardener used to make them just like that when we were kids. They were perfect.

Any kind of hot cooked tomato, that is not sauce, is just a mushy tasteless waste of a good ripe tomato.

I feel the opposite. Cooked tomatoes offer so much more flavorwise than raw.

BearDown89 · Post by **BearDown89** » Tue Aug 18, 2015 7:51 pm

scumdevils86 wrote:Never been big on the taste of raw tomato by itself

Like a good garden fresh ripe tomato? Not some grocery store mush - commercial industrial tomatoes are crap.

You're a culinary dude. That's what the salt and pepper is for, to bring out the taste of the sun.

scumdevils86 · Post by **scumdevils86** » Tue Aug 18, 2015 7:52 pm

Eh I've had garden fresh ones and they are light years better than the grocery store but it still doesn't always do it for me

PieceOfMeat · Post by **PieceOfMeat** » Tue Aug 18, 2015 8:30 pm

Mayo is disgusting.

I used to eat it as a kid, but can't stand even a hint of it as an adult.

Longhorned · Post by **Longhorned** » Tue Aug 18, 2015 8:46 pm

PerpEph wrote:
Bleu Cheese is Satan's dandruff.

scumdevils86 · Post by **scumdevils86** » Tue Aug 18, 2015 9:00 pm

Foods I will not eat...bleu cheese, tea, flavored seltzer water, usually celery (worthless veggie), papaya, well done red meat...anything else I haven't tried yet

PieceOfMeat · Post by **PieceOfMeat** » Tue Aug 18, 2015 9:27 pm

scumdevils86 wrote:Foods I will not eat...anything else I haven't tried yet

So you never try new things?

Longhorned · Post by **Longhorned** » Wed Aug 19, 2015 5:50 am

scumdevils86 wrote:Foods I will not eat...bleu cheese, tea, flavored seltzer water, usually celery (worthless veggie), papaya, well done red meat...anything else I haven't tried yet

If I want flavor in a seltzer water, then I put a lime in it. Lemon-lime flavored seltzer water tastes lemon-lime scented shaving foam smells. Raspberry flavored seltzer water tastes like the smell of the stuff people spray after taking a dump.

I won't eat red or yellow bell peppers. Love green bell peppers. And every other pepper in the world.

azgreg · Post by **azgreg** » Wed Aug 19, 2015 7:08 am

Longhorned wrote:I won't eat red or yellow bell peppers. Love green bell peppers. And every other pepper in the world.

I like all the bell peppers plus all the different colors look great in a salad.

ASUHATER! · Post by **ASUHATER!** » Wed Aug 19, 2015 8:04 am

Longhorned wrote:
scumdevils86 wrote:Foods I will not eat...bleu cheese, tea, flavored seltzer water, usually celery (worthless veggie), papaya, well done red meat...anything else I haven't tried yet
If I want flavor in a seltzer water, then I put a lime in it. Lemon-lime flavored seltzer water tastes lemon-lime scented shaving foam smells. Raspberry flavored seltzer water tastes like the smell of the stuff people spray after taking a dump.

I won't eat red or yellow bell peppers. Love green bell peppers. And every other pepper in the world.

But red yellow and green are all the same thing haha. All taste virtually the same.

Merkin · Post by **Merkin** » Wed Aug 19, 2015 8:11 am

ASUHATER! wrote:
Longhorned wrote:
scumdevils86 wrote:Foods I will not eat...bleu cheese, tea, flavored seltzer water, usually celery (worthless veggie), papaya, well done red meat...anything else I haven't tried yet
If I want flavor in a seltzer water, then I put a lime in it. Lemon-lime flavored seltzer water tastes lemon-lime scented shaving foam smells. Raspberry flavored seltzer water tastes like the smell of the stuff people spray after taking a dump.

I won't eat red or yellow bell peppers. Love green bell peppers. And every other pepper in the world.
But red yellow and green are all the same thing haha. All taste virtually the same.

That's true. If you ever grow green peppers, if you leave them on the plant they will eventually turn yellow, then red. That's why yellow and red cost more and why I generally always buy green.

scumdevils86 · Post by **scumdevils86** » Wed Aug 19, 2015 8:35 am

PieceOfMeat wrote:
scumdevils86 wrote:Foods I will not eat...anything else I haven't tried yet
So you never try new things?

I meant that there could be something else out there I don't like I just haven't had it yet. I'll try anything

Longhorned · Post by **Longhorned** » Wed Aug 19, 2015 8:38 am

Merkin wrote:
ASUHATER! wrote:
Longhorned wrote:
scumdevils86 wrote:Foods I will not eat...bleu cheese, tea, flavored seltzer water, usually celery (worthless veggie), papaya, well done red meat...anything else I haven't tried yet
If I want flavor in a seltzer water, then I put a lime in it. Lemon-lime flavored seltzer water tastes lemon-lime scented shaving foam smells. Raspberry flavored seltzer water tastes like the smell of the stuff people spray after taking a dump.

I won't eat red or yellow bell peppers. Love green bell peppers. And every other pepper in the world.
But red yellow and green are all the same thing haha. All taste virtually the same.
That's true. If you ever grow green peppers, if you leave them on the plant they will eventually turn yellow, then red. That's why yellow and red cost more and why I generally always buy green.

You guys are absolutely wrong. Red, yellow, and orange have a sweetness that carries a completely different flavor profile. The greens haven't developed those sugars and have a bitter profile that lots of people find off-putting.

I'd probably like the reds, too, if one of my ex gf's father hadn't forced me to be polite and keep eating more and more of his roasted red peppers in olive oil, until I went outside and laid down in the street.

PieceOfMeat · Post by **PieceOfMeat** » Wed Aug 19, 2015 10:06 am

scumdevils86 wrote:
PieceOfMeat wrote:
scumdevils86 wrote:Foods I will not eat...anything else I haven't tried yet
So you never try new things?
I meant that there could be something else out there I don't like I just haven't had it yet. I'll try anything

ahh, gotcha

PieceOfMeat · Post by **PieceOfMeat** » Wed Aug 19, 2015 10:09 am

Longhorned wrote: I'd probably like the reds, too, if one of my ex gf's father hadn't forced me to be polite and keep eating more and more of his roasted red peppers in olive oil, until I went outside and laid down in the street.

Father kept feeding you them till you couldn't stand it.

Ex gf.

Looks like the old man may have had a plan

Longhorned · Post by **Longhorned** » Wed Aug 19, 2015 10:59 am

PieceOfMeat wrote:
Longhorned wrote: I'd probably like the reds, too, if one of my ex gf's father hadn't forced me to be polite and keep eating more and more of his roasted red peppers in olive oil, until I went outside and laid down in the street.
Father kept feeding you them till you couldn't stand it.

Ex gf.

Looks like the old man may have had a plan

That was in Spain. She was Spanish and planning to stay in California with me. So you're right. But you know how he convinced her to return to Spain? By threatening to die. Not of anything in particular. It gives me no pleasure to say this, but that guilt convinced her to return to Spain, whereupon he died of botulism. Homemade peppers in olive oil, anyone?

gumby · Post by **gumby** » Thu Aug 20, 2015 9:37 am

Flavor profile? That's a thing? Like a serial killer?

Longhorned wrote:
I'd probably like the reds, too, if one of my ex gf's father hadn't forced me to be polite and keep eating more and more of his roasted red peppers in olive oil, until I went outside and laid down in the street.

Just think of the germs.

Longhorned · Post by **Longhorned** » Thu Aug 20, 2015 9:41 am

gumby wrote:Flavor profile? That's a thing? Like a serial killer?

Oh, I don't know. It's probably a term I use just to defend my unsophisticated taste and feel better about myself.

Gato Salvaje · Post by **Gato Salvaje** » Thu Aug 20, 2015 11:24 am

Mayo on tomato is a solid combo. I'm very particular with sandwich assembly, and I always make sure the top of the sadwich goes bread/mayo/ tomato/ lettuce in that order. the rest of the sandwich can vary.

Longhorned · Post by **Longhorned** » Thu Aug 20, 2015 11:38 am

Gato Salvaje wrote:Mayo on tomato is a solid combo. I'm very particular with sandwich assembly, and I always make sure the top of the sadwich goes bread/mayo/ tomato/ lettuce in that order. the rest of the sandwich can vary.

So does that mean the lettuce goes over the tomato? Does that reduce tomato-induced tectonic shift? You know, when the tomato slice causes the whole sandwich to slide apart?

Longhorned · Post by **Longhorned** » Mon Jun 15, 2020 7:36 am

gumby wrote:
Longhorned wrote:

I agree with those historians of mayonnaise who conclude that many people raised in the U.S. claim to dislike mayo but actually don't dislike it.
They, including me, claim to dislike something they like? Tell me more.

For those of you who don't hold that affectation of disliking mayonnaise, will I be the last person here to discover Blue Plate mayo?

I stopped doing regular supermarkets because of all the mask-less people there, so I can't get Best Foods unless I buy a tub of it on Amazon Prime.

Then I accidentally hit upon some reviews of Blue Plate, from New Orleans, which is supposedly the greatest mayo ever. I ordered a regular sized jar of it arriving tomorrow. Taste tests consistently beat Best Foods/Hellmans, Dukes, and the rest. It's made with egg yokes instead of the whole egg. I can't imagine anything better than Best Foods. Dukes is fine but every other mayo falls so short for me that they're not even worth using.

https://www.epicurious.com/ingredients/ ... re-article" target="_blank

CalStateTempe · Post by **CalStateTempe** » Mon Jun 15, 2020 7:42 am

Blech...yuck

Merkin · Post by **Merkin** » Mon Jun 15, 2020 8:33 am

Reviews are outstanding for Blue Plate mayo! And cheap too.

Next time I fly out to see my daughter, I am bringing my own mayo since she does not use it. 3 weeks without it. Mayo just makes sandwiches less dry when trying to choke them down. Don't need to gob a lot on. Also required to make the Mexican style grilled corn on the cob.

Makes an emergency substitute for butter on grilled cheese too. https://blueplatemayo.com/recipes/perfe ... ed-cheese/" target="_blank

Gato Salvaje wrote:Mayo on tomato is a solid combo. I'm very particular with sandwich assembly, and I always make sure the top of the sadwich goes bread/mayo/ tomato/ lettuce in that order. the rest of the sandwich can vary.

I used to have those all the time.

Alieberman · Post by **Alieberman** » Mon Jun 15, 2020 8:45 am

The fact that we have a mayo thread shows how badly we need more diversity on these boards.

Fuck Mayo

Longhorned · Post by **Longhorned** » Mon Jun 15, 2020 10:32 am

Alieberman wrote:The fact that we have a mayo thread shows how badly we need more diversity on these boards.

Fuck Mayo

Mayo is huuuuuge in Mexico and among our indigenous friends right here in Sonora. Of course it's big in Japan, and everyone loves the Kewpie. African American cooking supposedly uses it in ways I've never thought of. And I've seen some stuff online about famous Jewish people who secretly eat their deli favorites with Mayo because sandwiches are just better that way in spite of Waspy expectations of deli food -- it's the origin of Hellman's!

I'm all for self reflection and my much-deserved self shame, but mayo is a friend to the world!

I had internalized that both mayo and ketchup are somehow lowbrow foods. In Turkey, people felt sorry for me on both accounts. Who is this poor guy trying to choke down his kebab all dry like that?

Chicat · Post by **Chicat** » Mon Jun 15, 2020 11:54 am

I just put mayo on my burger. But just a little to moisten the bread and let it meld with the juice of the burger without becoming soggy.

Longhorned · Post by **Longhorned** » Mon Jun 15, 2020 12:08 pm

Chicat wrote:I just put mayo on my burger. But just a little to moisten the bread and let it meld with the juice of the burger without becoming soggy.

Don't come to me for medical advice - or any advice - but if anyone doesn't want to use mayo on the bun, then butter it. Personally, I butter it, grill the buttered bun until it's toasted, and then add mayo even so!

This post has been brought to you by Fat Boy. Fat Boy!

A-look on down the cul-de-sac, and there he comes a-waddling, he's Fat Boy. Fat Boy!

Alieberman · Post by **Alieberman** » Mon Jun 15, 2020 12:20 pm

Mayo is only needed if your sandwich sucks.

I just put in an order from Sausage Deli..... no fucking Mayo!!!!!

Chicat · Post by **Chicat** » Mon Jun 15, 2020 12:22 pm

Alieberman wrote:Mayo is only needed if your sandwich sucks.

I just put in an order from Sausage Deli..... no fucking Mayo!!!!!

Double aioli?

Merkin · Post by **Merkin** » Mon Jun 15, 2020 12:53 pm

Longhorned wrote: Don't come to me for medical advice

But you a doctor! Says right so on your checks.

Longhorned wrote:but if anyone doesn't want to use mayo on the bun, then butter it. Personally, I butter it, grill the buttered bun until it's toasted, and then add mayo even so!

Try your mayo on your grilled cheese sandwiches instead of butter and see if your family notices.

and Mexican street corn required mayo!

Longhorned · Post by **Longhorned** » Mon Jun 15, 2020 1:30 pm

Alieberman wrote:Mayo is only needed if your sandwich sucks.

I just put in an order from Sausage Deli..... no fucking Mayo!!!!!

Mayo is only not needed if your sandwich has no bread.

Why does Sausage Deli and every other sandwich place in Tucson close on Sundays? Sausage Deli was open on Sunday when I was in college. I want a sandwich on Sunday, and nobody wants to go to Baggins or Beyond Bread.

dovecanyoncat · Post by **dovecanyoncat** » Mon Jun 15, 2020 2:03 pm

The only way to redeem mayo is through ketchup.

Step 1. start with a fresh garbage bag
Step 2. dump mayo in the garbage
Step 3. squirt ketchup on top of mayo
Step 4. mayo is now worth the time needed for disposal
Step 5. throw out garbage

azgreg · Post by **azgreg** » Mon Jun 15, 2020 2:26 pm

dovecanyoncat wrote:The only way to redeem mayo is through ketchup.

Step 1. start with a fresh garbage bag
Step 2. dump mayo in the garbage
Step 3. squirt ketchup on top of mayo
Step 4. mayo is now worth the time needed for disposal
Step 5. throw out garbage

Ketchup and mayo mix was very popular in Germany when I was there.

dovecanyoncat · Post by **dovecanyoncat** » Mon Jun 15, 2020 2:31 pm

azgreg wrote:
dovecanyoncat wrote:The only way to redeem mayo is through ketchup.

Step 1. start with a fresh garbage bag
Step 2. dump mayo in the garbage
Step 3. squirt ketchup on top of mayo
Step 4. mayo is now worth the time needed for disposal
Step 5. throw out garbage
Ketchup and mayo mix was very popular in Germany when I was there.

Put it in beer and just about anything gets popular.

Alieberman · Post by **Alieberman** » Mon Jun 15, 2020 2:32 pm

azgreg wrote:
dovecanyoncat wrote:The only way to redeem mayo is through ketchup.

Step 1. start with a fresh garbage bag
Step 2. dump mayo in the garbage
Step 3. squirt ketchup on top of mayo
Step 4. mayo is now worth the time needed for disposal
Step 5. throw out garbage
Ketchup and mayo mix was very popular in Germany when I was there.

Isn't that 1000 island dressing.... the worst excuse for a salad dressing ever.

dovecanyoncat · Post by **dovecanyoncat** » Mon Jun 15, 2020 2:37 pm

Alieberman wrote:
azgreg wrote:
dovecanyoncat wrote:The only way to redeem mayo is through ketchup.

Step 1. start with a fresh garbage bag
Step 2. dump mayo in the garbage
Step 3. squirt ketchup on top of mayo
Step 4. mayo is now worth the time needed for disposal
Step 5. throw out garbage
Ketchup and mayo mix was very popular in Germany when I was there.
Isn't that 1000 island dressing.... the worst excuse for a salad dressing ever.

Dunno, but even if it is it is only elevated to a level worthy of disposal by being made not mayo. I imagine one could use cat piss in place of ketchup.

scumdevils86 · Post by **scumdevils86** » Mon Jun 15, 2020 3:36 pm

Mayo is God's condiment.

CalStateTempe · Post by **CalStateTempe** » Mon Jun 15, 2020 3:37 pm

scumdevils86 wrote:Mayo is God's condiment.

Then I’m atheist

scumdevils86 · Post by **scumdevils86** » Mon Jun 15, 2020 3:43 pm

Roast beef sandwich...mayo and horseradish
Turkey club... mayo
BLT.... absolutely mayo
Salami and cheese...mayo and mustard
Ham and cheese... mayo

Every single one of those cold sandwiches are drastically worse without the fat and moisture from mayo.

dovecanyoncat · Post by **dovecanyoncat** » Mon Jun 15, 2020 3:54 pm

CalStateTempe wrote:
scumdevils86 wrote:Mayo is God's condiment.
Then I’m atheist

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand CUT!

dovecanyoncat · Post by **dovecanyoncat** » Mon Jun 15, 2020 3:57 pm

scumdevils86 wrote:Roast beef sandwich...mayo and horseradish
Turkey club... mayo
BLT.... absolutely mayo
Salami and cheese...mayo and mustard
Ham and cheese... mayo

Every single one of those cold sandwiches are drastically worse without the fat and moisture from mayo.

You could just use white lithium grease and a luggie.

Merkin · Post by **Merkin** » Mon Jun 15, 2020 4:40 pm

scumdevils86 wrote:Roast beef sandwich...mayo and horseradish
Turkey club... mayo
BLT.... absolutely mayo
Salami and cheese...mayo and mustard
Ham and cheese... mayo

Every single one of those cold sandwiches are drastically worse without the fat and moisture from mayo.

Can you even eat bologna without mayo? And why no love for bologna sandwiches in that other thread?

azgreg · Post by **azgreg** » Mon Jun 15, 2020 4:53 pm

Longhorned · Post by **Longhorned** » Mon Jun 15, 2020 5:03 pm

Merkin wrote:
scumdevils86 wrote:Roast beef sandwich...mayo and horseradish
Turkey club... mayo
BLT.... absolutely mayo
Salami and cheese...mayo and mustard
Ham and cheese... mayo

Every single one of those cold sandwiches are drastically worse without the fat and moisture from mayo.

Can you even eat bologna without mayo? And why no love for bologna sandwiches in that other thread?

When I was 19 I lost 50 pounds in one semester running six miles every night at the Rincon High School Track, taking a shower, and then eating the only substance I consumed all day: one bologna sandwich with mayo. Every day for 15 weeks. You can do anything to a 19 year-old body. I'd eat that bologna sandwich on the floor of my room so Schnebly would leave me alone.

Longhorned · Post by **Longhorned** » Sun Jun 21, 2020 12:34 pm

You should all treat yourself to a jar of Blue Plate mayonnaise. It doesn't even have the texture mayo-haters hate. It's obviously still an emulsion but the egg yokes give it the rich creaminess of a sour cream. So you can see how it would be way better for making dressings and stuff with. And the taste itself is like Best Foods/Hellman's, but the texture takes it to a different level.

dovecanyoncat · Post by **dovecanyoncat** » Sun Jun 21, 2020 1:27 pm

Longhorned wrote:You should all treat yourself to a jar of Blue Plate mayonnaise. It doesn't even have the texture mayo-haters hate.

When I read this I heard:

You should all treat yourself to a jar of Blue Plate possum shit. It doesn't even have the texture possum shit-haters hate.

I should be relieved, but strangely I'm not. There must be something wrong with me.

CalStateTempe · Post by **CalStateTempe** » Sun Jun 21, 2020 2:45 pm

I can’t get past the raw egg

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