Why I Own The World

CryptoCat · Post by **CryptoCat** » Thu Jun 19, 2014 1:14 pm

*I*, as in you. When you write it, you are I.

Anyway, brag about yoself, asshat.

Longhorned · Post by **Longhorned** » Thu Jun 19, 2014 1:43 pm

When I move from room to room in my house, I pretend that the top of the door is a basketball rim, and I raise the imaginary ball in one hand above my head and envision myself flying through the air, delivering the ball down into the hoop with crushing authority. The invisible crowd goes wild. I've started to bruise my wrist.

Chicat · Post by **Chicat** » Thu Jun 19, 2014 1:54 pm

Just got out of a meeting with a VERY reluctant potential client (old school financial services firm - prying money out of them is like trying to squeeze a watermelon out of a sea slug's asshole).

I joked. I charmed. I laughed at stupid jokes. I told a few of my own.

I walked out with $350k in new business.

I rule.

gumby · Post by **gumby** » Thu Jun 19, 2014 1:56 pm

Longhorned wrote:When I move from room to room in my house, I pretend that the top of the door is a basketball rim, and I raise the imaginary ball in one hand above my head and envision myself flying through the air, delivering the ball down into the hoop with crushing authority. The invisible crowd goes wild. I've started to bruise my wrist.

You left out this part.

[youtube]cWYm51Eh-D4[/youtube]

ASUHATER! · Post by **ASUHATER!** » Thu Jun 19, 2014 1:57 pm

Chicat wrote:Just got out of a meeting with a VERY reluctant potential client (old school financial services firm - prying money out of them is like trying to squeeze a watermelon out of a sea slug's asshole).

I joked. I charmed. I laughed at stupid jokes. I told a few of my own.

I walked out with $350k in new business.

I rule.

i'll take some of that if you please.

Chicat · Post by **Chicat** » Thu Jun 19, 2014 2:02 pm

ASUHATER! wrote:
Chicat wrote:Just got out of a meeting with a VERY reluctant potential client (old school financial services firm - prying money out of them is like trying to squeeze a watermelon out of a sea slug's asshole).

I joked. I charmed. I laughed at stupid jokes. I told a few of my own.

I walked out with $350k in new business.

I rule.
i'll take some of that if you please.

Sales is such a joke sometimes. So much of it has to do with whether the buyer likes you or not. I highly recommend it to anyone with half a personality (sorry Bruins01).

I've decided to reward myself for being so charming...

Longhorned · Post by **Longhorned** » Thu Jun 19, 2014 2:13 pm

Chicat wrote:
ASUHATER! wrote:
Chicat wrote:Just got out of a meeting with a VERY reluctant potential client (old school financial services firm - prying money out of them is like trying to squeeze a watermelon out of a sea slug's asshole).

I joked. I charmed. I laughed at stupid jokes. I told a few of my own.

I walked out with $350k in new business.

I rule.
i'll take some of that if you please.
Sales is such a joke sometimes. So much of it has to do with whether the buyer likes you or not. I highly recommend it to anyone with half a personality (sorry Bruins01).

I've decided to reward myself for being so charming...

Egg yolk shot aside, what's the other part of being a good salesman? If you have the right personality, can the other part of it be learned? Or is it all just something you either got or you don't?

the real dill · Post by **the real dill** » Thu Jun 19, 2014 2:14 pm

I love the humble brag thread.

I just got invited to a BVI trip all expenses paid. First class airfare and a 76 foot catamaran. My buddy said he wants to pay for everything (10 of us going) because "you only turn 30 once."

Chicat · Post by **Chicat** » Thu Jun 19, 2014 2:23 pm

Longhorned wrote:
Chicat wrote:Sales is such a joke sometimes. So much of it has to do with whether the buyer likes you or not. I highly recommend it to anyone with half a personality (sorry Bruins01).

I've decided to reward myself for being so charming...

Egg yolk shot aside, what's the other part of being a good salesman? If you have the right personality, can the other part of it be learned? Or is it all just something you either got or you don't?

You need to be somewhat an amateur psychologist and that can definitely be learned. Some people want to be sold. Others want it to be their idea. Some want a buddy. Some want a lover (sometimes literally). Others want a bitch. It's identifying who needs what that's the main hurdle but it can definitely be learned.

What is more difficult to learn, and what I struggle with, is knowing how to close. Identifying that moment when it's time to stop flirting and go in for the kiss/kill, and having the balls to do it. And I'm not sure if that can really be learned. But I'm trying...

azgreg · Post by **azgreg** » Thu Jun 19, 2014 2:27 pm

What's that saying? ABC

Always
Be
Closing

Chicat · Post by **Chicat** » Thu Jun 19, 2014 2:30 pm

azgreg wrote:What's that saying? ABC

Always
Be
Closing

My boss embodies this. You'll be telling him about your kid's daycare and the next thing you know you've signed a contract for way more than you planned on paying and you won't even care.

azgreg · Post by **azgreg** » Thu Jun 19, 2014 2:33 pm

Chicat wrote:
azgreg wrote:What's that saying? ABC

Always
Be
Closing
My boss embodies this. You'll be telling him about your kid's daycare and the next thing you know you've signed a contract for way more than you planned on paying and you won't even care.

Some people just have that skill set. I was pretty damn good at sales if I say so myself.

I just got burned out on it after 22 years.

CryptoCat · Post by **CryptoCat** » Thu Jun 19, 2014 3:15 pm

I still don't work. Morning golf in the mountains, smoke weed e'r'y day, margarita time starts at whatever I want to.

Good times can't last forever

Got a couple of irons in the fire, will probably be back to work in the next month or so.

Longhorned · Post by **Longhorned** » Thu Jun 19, 2014 3:32 pm

CryptoCat wrote:I still don't work. Morning golf in the mountains, smoke weed e'r'y day, margarita time starts at whatever I want to.

Good times can't last forever Got a couple of irons in the fire, will probably be back to work in the next month or so.

I guess I missed when you stop CEO'ing. Enjoy every minute of that freedom. Won't last.

Chicat · Post by **Chicat** » Thu Jun 19, 2014 3:52 pm

CryptoCat wrote:I still don't work. Morning golf in the mountains, smoke weed e'r'y day, margarita time starts at whatever I want to.

Good times can't last forever Got a couple of irons in the fire, will probably be back to work in the next month or so.

Ummm, why exactly can't they last? You're living my dream...

CryptoCat · Post by **CryptoCat** » Fri Jun 20, 2014 6:41 am

I have easy living money, not f the world money.
Mo money = mo toys = mo bills
I want to stay married, wife don't like me in the house all the time
Frankly things are kind of boring. I'm still young(ish)...what do I do with the rest of my life?

CalStateTempe · Post by **CalStateTempe** » Fri Jun 20, 2014 6:43 am

Pick up golf or fishing.

Train for an everest expedition.

Thats that I would do.

Chicat · Post by **Chicat** » Fri Jun 20, 2014 6:44 am

CryptoCat wrote:I have easy living money, not f the world money.
Mo money = mo toys = mo bills
I want to stay married, wife don't like me in the house all the time
Frankly things are kind of boring. I'm still young(ish)...what do I do with the rest of my life?

If you want my job, I'll gladly take yours...

Longhorned · Post by **Longhorned** » Fri Jun 20, 2014 6:49 am

CryptoCat wrote:I have easy living money, not f the world money.
Mo money = mo toys = mo bills
I want to stay married, wife don't like me in the house all the time
Frankly things are kind of boring. I'm still young(ish)...what do I do with the rest of my life?

Put your feet up on the coffee table, tell your wife, "Get a job!", and then make hand pistol gestures toward the ceiling, and lay back on the sofa with an "Ahhhhhhhhhh. Did you pick up those beer nuts I asked you for?"

CryptoCat · Post by **CryptoCat** » Fri Jun 20, 2014 8:50 am

All of my interviews are with non-profits. I think getting (under)paid to do socially beneficial work would be very gratifying.

Here is one place I'm interviewing with: http://benetech.org

Longhorned · Post by **Longhorned** » Tue Jul 29, 2014 8:14 pm

I own an early 2011 MacBook Pro, 17" screen like they don't even make them anymore. The graphics card completely failed, as they do with early 2011 MacBook Pros. I brought it in one week before my Apple Care warranty expires. Apple has to put in a new logic board.

Do I win?

Merkin · Post by **Merkin** » Tue Jul 29, 2014 8:21 pm

Apple Care is actually pretty good.

My daughter's iPhone 4s battery kept dying after a few hours, so she brought her phone in the last week of the warranty and they gave her a new phone.

Just make sure you make an appointment with the Apple Store. Wait times for walk ins go into the hours, especially in Tucson.

Longhorned · Post by **Longhorned** » Tue Jul 29, 2014 8:28 pm

I brought it to the campus store. It operates out of a closet on the roof of a drug store. I walked in and they couldn't believe there was a person in the universe during the summer months.

Salty · Post by **Salty** » Tue Jul 29, 2014 8:31 pm

Life is good

Chicat · Post by **Chicat** » Tue Jul 29, 2014 9:34 pm

Longhorned wrote:I brought it to the campus store. It operates out of a closet on the roof of a drug store. I walked in and they couldn't believe there was a person in the universe during the summer months.

The Apple Store in downtown Chicago looks like a church of Scientology. I keep expecting a Tom Cruise hologram to pop out of nowhere and ask me about my thetan.

CryptoCat · Post by **CryptoCat** » Wed Jul 30, 2014 12:14 pm

I accepted a job today as CTO of a technology-based non-profit in Boston!
Really great pay - not just for a non-profit, anywhere - that utilizes drones, balloons, and other temporary fixtures to provide high-speed broadband to workers in rural/under-served areas. Human Rights Campaign is the biggest customer. I'm really excited!

Means re-locating from Colorado to Boston, and I love CO, but Boston is amazing, I'll have a really nice condo right smack in downtown which is about as great of a city life as you can have, and I can wake up every morning and say "I'm making the world a better place."

And yes, we use Macs

Merkin · Post by **Merkin** » Wed Jul 30, 2014 12:16 pm

CryptoCat wrote:fixtures to provide high-peed broadband to workers

Not sure about them, but I would not like getting peed on from high.

But props anyway!

CryptoCat · Post by **CryptoCat** » Wed Jul 30, 2014 12:17 pm

Merkin wrote:
CryptoCat wrote:fixtures to provide high-peed broadband to workers
Not sure about them, but I would not like getting peed on from high.

But props anyway!

Fixed

Longhorned · Post by **Longhorned** » Wed Jul 30, 2014 12:25 pm

Congrats, Seth! It sounds ideal.

(Still, if it were me, I'd try to give people the impression that it's really some kind of spying operation.)

Enjoy Boston.

Chicat · Post by **Chicat** » Wed Jul 30, 2014 12:40 pm

CryptoCat wrote:I accepted a job today as CTO of a technology-based non-profit in Boston!
Really great pay - not just for a non-profit, anywhere - that utilizes drones, balloons, and other temporary fixtures to provide high-speed broadband to workers in rural/under-served areas. Human Rights Campaign is the biggest customer. I'm really excited!

Means re-locating from Colorado to Boston, and I love CO, but Boston is amazing, I'll have a really nice condo right smack in downtown which is about as great of a city life as you can have, and I can wake up every morning and say "I'm making the world a better place."

And yes, we use Macs

Yes, but no more smoking weed on your front porch. You'll have to move it inside.

84Cat · Post by **84Cat** » Wed Jul 30, 2014 12:41 pm

CryptoCat wrote:I accepted a job today as CTO of a technology-based non-profit in Boston!
Really great pay - not just for a non-profit, anywhere - that utilizes drones, balloons, and other temporary fixtures to provide high-speed broadband to workers in rural/under-served areas. Human Rights Campaign is the biggest customer. I'm really excited!

Means re-locating from Colorado to Boston, and I love CO, but Boston is amazing, I'll have a really nice condo right smack in downtown which is about as great of a city life as you can have, and I can wake up every morning and say "I'm making the world a better place."

And yes, we use Macs

Congrats, sounds amazing!

CryptoCat · Post by **CryptoCat** » Wed Jul 30, 2014 12:45 pm

Longhorned wrote:Congrats, Seth! It sounds ideal.

(Still, if it were me, I'd try to give people the impression that it's really some kind of spying operation.)

Enjoy Boston.

Through the NSA we're all vicariously spying on someone anyway.

CryptoCat · Post by **CryptoCat** » Wed Jul 30, 2014 12:46 pm

Chicat wrote:
CryptoCat wrote:I accepted a job today as CTO of a technology-based non-profit in Boston!
Really great pay - not just for a non-profit, anywhere - that utilizes drones, balloons, and other temporary fixtures to provide high-speed broadband to workers in rural/under-served areas. Human Rights Campaign is the biggest customer. I'm really excited!

Means re-locating from Colorado to Boston, and I love CO, but Boston is amazing, I'll have a really nice condo right smack in downtown which is about as great of a city life as you can have, and I can wake up every morning and say "I'm making the world a better place."

And yes, we use Macs
Yes, but no more smoking weed on your front porch. You'll have to move it inside.

No more weed. Regular drug tests required as part of clearance.

Chicat · Post by **Chicat** » Wed Jul 30, 2014 12:52 pm

CryptoCat wrote:
Chicat wrote:
CryptoCat wrote:I accepted a job today as CTO of a technology-based non-profit in Boston!
Really great pay - not just for a non-profit, anywhere - that utilizes drones, balloons, and other temporary fixtures to provide high-speed broadband to workers in rural/under-served areas. Human Rights Campaign is the biggest customer. I'm really excited!

Means re-locating from Colorado to Boston, and I love CO, but Boston is amazing, I'll have a really nice condo right smack in downtown which is about as great of a city life as you can have, and I can wake up every morning and say "I'm making the world a better place."

And yes, we use Macs
Yes, but no more smoking weed on your front porch. You'll have to move it inside.
No more weed. Regular drug tests required as part of clearance.

You sir do NOT rule the world.

CryptoCat · Post by **CryptoCat** » Wed Jul 30, 2014 1:17 pm

lol

Go smoke pot around your children, you scum of the earth.

Chicat · Post by **Chicat** » Wed Jul 30, 2014 1:39 pm

CryptoCat wrote:lol

Go smoke pot around your children, you scum of the earth.

Whatever you future angry drunk Masshole.

Longhorned · Post by **Longhorned** » Wed Jul 30, 2014 1:59 pm

I just picked up my repaired Mac, so now I have to test the new graphics card in the new logic board by watching movies, right? And to do that, I need to start drinking to enjoy those movies, right? It's only 3:58 on a Wednesday, but that's not my fault.

Spaceman Spiff · Post by **Spaceman Spiff** » Wed Jul 30, 2014 5:58 pm

CryptoCat wrote:
Longhorned wrote:Congrats, Seth! It sounds ideal.

(Still, if it were me, I'd try to give people the impression that it's really some kind of spying operation.)

Enjoy Boston.
Through the NSA we're all vicariously spying on someone anyway.

Congratulations on the job and continuing to make me feel poor. I'll take solace in the fact you're moving to hang around with the most annoying fan base in America.

catgrad97 · Post by **catgrad97** » Wed Jul 30, 2014 8:23 pm

Not to do any crapping on this thread, but you couldn't pay me enough money to move from Denver to Boston. I was there for a week after hanging with Chicat ten years ago ([Emmitt Brown]My..GOD, has it been that long?[/Emmmitt Brown]) and nearly had a heart attack just exiting the freeways from the breakdown lanes.

Of course, that was the Romney Era, but still a very cold city to me (in all ways) relative to my home away from home in Denver. If developers start f-ing with Colorado, it's time for the revolution to begin, and now.

Longhorned · Post by **Longhorned** » Wed Jul 30, 2014 8:29 pm

*shrugs* I'm in Boston all the time and I really like it. There are reasons why it's unaffordable. I'd live downtown if I got a chance. And the rest of it is like a nice small town.

Spaceman Spiff · Post by **Spaceman Spiff** » Wed Jul 30, 2014 8:45 pm

Longhorned wrote:*shrugs* I'm in Boston all the time and I really like it. There are reasons why it's unaffordable. I'd live downtown if I got a chance. And the rest of it is like a nice small town.

It's also the top of the list if you Google "the most racist city in America."

Chicat · Post by **Chicat** » Thu Jul 31, 2014 4:39 am

Boston: Great city, terrible people

CryptoCat · Post by **CryptoCat** » Thu Jul 31, 2014 6:02 am

I love Denver and Colorado, so I get what you're saying. But truthfully I'm probably at the point in my career where I'm more or less topped out unless I'm in one of the major hub cities: NY, Boston, DC, Chicago, or SanFran. I'm not even 40 yet - the idea of basically being topped out and doing the exact same thing for the next 25 years is terrifying.

Given those choices, Boston was a clear #1. I found Bostonians to be friendlier than New Yorkers, which was my preferred location for awhile, the city was much nicer than NY, the education system is phenomenal, the government is pretty functional...it's got a lot going for it.

Chicat · Post by **Chicat** » Thu Jul 31, 2014 6:13 am

CryptoCat wrote:I found Bostonians to be friendlier than New Yorkers

Not a real high standard for comparison.

I always found native Bostonians to have this real aggressive inferiority complex, but maybe that's because I'm from New York.

Longhorned · Post by **Longhorned** » Thu Jul 31, 2014 6:28 am

Spaceman Spiff wrote:
Longhorned wrote:*shrugs* I'm in Boston all the time and I really like it. There are reasons why it's unaffordable. I'd live downtown if I got a chance. And the rest of it is like a nice small town.
It's also the top of the list if you Google "the most racist city in America."

When I was a little boy, I stole one of my dad's old Playboys from 1978. When I finally got over seeing the same boob pics over and over and over and over again, I read an article with the title, "Boston: City of Hate." I already knew the individual neighborhoods because I partly grew up in Boston, but I learned to relate all the different colors of racism with each part. So I became a flaneur of Boston racism. And I didn't argue with a friend of mine from Philly who refused to move there when offered. I see more racism there than in New York, Philly, Chicago, etc. The thing that doesn't make Boston a deal-breaker for me is that I've never been lucky enough to live anywhere where I haven't been completely floored by the local racism. So I keep liking Boston for all the qualities that don't make me hate cities. It's a really nice place, except for the assholes you'll find anywhere.

CryptoCat · Post by **CryptoCat** » Thu Jul 31, 2014 6:37 am

Plus, in Boston I can potentially get my PhD from MIT.

I can't begin to tell you how appealing that is to me.

CryptoCat · Post by **CryptoCat** » Thu Jul 31, 2014 6:43 am

Plus I'm from Arizona, where you can stop a Mexican for being Mexican and make him prove he's allowed to be here.
I'm from Arizona, where our Governor stills sometimes refers to black people as the "coloreds".
People are shitty everywhere.

Hell is other people.

Chicat · Post by **Chicat** » Thu Jul 31, 2014 7:23 am

I don't think Bostonians are crappy because they're racist (which they certainly are). Instead it's because of the outright hostility that many display.

I'm sure I told the story on TOS of the three Red Sox fans on a full rush hour train here in Chicago after a White Sox game trying to start fights but no one took the bait so they instead starting punching each other screaming, "you never stepped up!" until the cops had to break it up, hogtying two of them because they were throwing punches at the cops.

I feel like that's fairly typical behavior from Boston people.

Sidewinder · Post by **Sidewinder** » Thu Jul 31, 2014 7:38 am

Chicat wrote:
CryptoCat wrote:I found Bostonians to be friendlier than New Yorkers
Not a real high standard for comparison.

I always found native Bostonians to have this real aggressive inferiority complex, but maybe that's because I'm from New York.

As a non-New Yorker, I've always found Bostonians to be raging assholes

EastCoastCat · Post by **EastCoastCat** » Thu Jul 31, 2014 9:05 am

I love Boston. Been working outside of the city off and on for 5 years.

Congrats!

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