Celebrity Hot or Not, Vol. 113: Malin Akerman

[azgreg]

Alison Brie finishes up with a hotness rating of 90.48% which puts her between Evangeline Lilly and Jennifer Love Hewitt. Up next is Hollywood honey Malin Akerman. Akerman got her start in 1997 in Earth: Final Conflict. Other credits include: Witchblade, The Circle, Harold & Kumar Go to White Castle, Entourage, Heavy Petting, 27 Dresses, Couples Retreat, The Bang Bang Club, Burning Love, and the Trophy Wife.







Hotness Rating
Kate Upton - 95.71% (Volume 13)
Jessica Alba - 94.92% (Volume 22)
Elisha Cuthbert - 94.20% (Volume 91)
Charlize Theron -93.33% (Volume 40)
Salma Hayek - 93.20% (Volume 1)
Emmanuelle Chriqui - 92.73% (Volume 62)
Kate Beckinsale - 92.31% (Volume 8)
Alyssa Milano - 92.31% (Volume 59)
Daisy Fuentes - 91.53% (Volume 96)
Evangeline Lilly - 90.77% (Volume 34)
Alison Brie - 90.48% (Volume 112)
Jennifer Love Hewitt - 88.57 (Volume 70)
Eliza Dushku - 87.80% (Volume 85)
Catherine Bell - 87.27% (Volume 102)
Liz Hurley - 87.10% (Volume 19)
Faith Hill - 86.67% (Volume 16)
Cindy Crawford - 86.27% (Volume 80)
Olivia Wilde - 86.11% (Volume 45)
Freida Pinto - 85.71% (Volume 3)
Jennifer Connelly - 85.48% (Volume 42)
Scarlett Johansson - 85.33% (Volume 50)
Mila Kunis - 84.93% (Volume 25)
Catherine Zeta-Jones - 84.62 (Volume 33)
Jessica Biel - 84.00% (Volume 55)
Alice Eve - 83.87% (Volume 12)
Shania Twain - 83.10% (Volume 100)
Halle Berry - 81.82% (Volume 104)
Ashley Judd -81.63 (Volume 78)
Kristen Bell - 81.43% (Volume 58)
Beyoncé - 78.74% (Volume 11)
Penelope Cruz - 78.13% (Volume 79)
Megan Fox - 77.78% (Volume 29)
Isla Fisher - 77.78% (Volume 73)
Eva Mendes - 77.27% (Volume 88)
Brooke Burke - 75.75% (Volume 111)
Hayden Panettiere - 74.55% (Volume 95)
Lucy Liu - 74.19% (Volume 72)
Angelina Jolie - 73.17% (Volume 2)
Cobie Smulders - 72.73% (Volume 105)
Raquel Welch - 71.43% (Volume 23)
Carmen Electra - 70.91% (Volume 67)
Marisa Tomei - 70.21% (Volume 82)
Jennifer Lopez - 69.49% (Volume 31)
Keira Knightley - 68.97% (Volume 18)
Jennifer Aniston - 68.18% (Volume 20)
Sophie Marceau - 67.35% (Volume 103)
Julianne Hough - 66.67% (Volume 108)
Zooey Deschanel - 64.29% (Volume 7)
Natalie Portman - 63.64% (Volume 63)
Rashida Jones - 63.64% (Volume 66)
January Jones - 63.59% (Volume 27)
Tiffani Thiessen - 62.22% (Volume 5)
Jane Seymour - 62.00% (Volume 61)
Heather Locklear - 61.70% (Volume 37)
Jennifer Lawrence - 67.61% (Volume 86)
Emma Stone - 61.54% (Volume 4)
Kate Hudson - 58.54% (Volume 92)
Rachel McAdams - 58.49% (Volume 14)
Kaley Cuoco - 57.41% (Volume 6)
Kate Mara - 57.41% (Volume 97)
Anna Kendrick - 56.60% (Volume 106)
Paulina Gretzky - 55.26% (Volume 109)
Susanna Hoffs - 55.00% (Volume 32)
Eva Longoria - 54.17% (Volume 9)
Jennie Finch - 53.42% (Volume 48)
Kate Winslet - 53.33% (Volume 51)
Anne Hathaway - 52.05% (Volume 38)
Sharon Stone - 50.91% (Volume 35)
Rosario Dawson - 50% (Volume 98)
Summer Glau - 48.39% (Volume 36)
Amanda Peet - 48.38% (Volume 107)
Amanda Bynes - 45.71% (Volume 75)
Emily Blount - 43.75% (Volume 83)
Sandra Bullock - 43.64% (Volume 49)
Zoe Saldana - 42.62% (Volume 41)
Reese Witherspoon - 42.02% (Volume 46)
Amanda Seyfried - 40.91% (Volume 30)
Rose McGowan - 40.74% (Volume 89)
Jennifer Garner - 40.38% (Volume 76)
Amy Adams - 40.00% (Volume 52)
Uma Thurman - 38.10% (Volume 54)
Melissa Stark - 36.84% (Volume 93)
Pam Anderson - 35.71% (Volume 10)
Brooke Shields - 33.33% (Volume 53)
Poppy Montgomery - 32.73% (Volume 17)
Lindsay Lohan - 31.48% (Volume 81)
Kat Dennings - 30.77% (Volume 43)
Cameron Diaz - 25.76% (Volume 24)
Gweneth Paltrow - 25.53% (Volume 87)
Danica Patrick - 25.37% (Volume 15)
Michelle Trachtenberg - 25.00% (Volume 69)
Drew Barrymore - 24.49% (Volume 64)
Tina Fey - 23.73% (Volume 26)
Rose McGowan - 23.21% (Volume 90)
Christa Miller - 22.73% (Volume 99)
Kristin Chenoweth - 21.28% (Volume 94)
Julia Roberts - 19.05% (Volume 71)
Katie Holmes - 17.24% (Volume 56)
Kirsten Dunst - 16.36% (Volume 47)
Britney Spears - 16.13% (Volume 21)
Helen Mirren - 15.22% (Volume 57)
Helen Hunt - 14.71% (Volume 74)
Gillian Anderson - 14.00% (Volume 44)
Ellen Page - 13.73% (Volume 60)
Claire Danes - 13.64% (Volume 68)
Julia Stiles - 12.24% (Volume 39)
Tara Reid - 8.06% (Volume 28)
Calista Flockhart - 5.26% (Volume 65)
Meryl Streep - 5.00% (Volume 84)
Debra Messing - 3.51% (Volume 77)
Joely Richardson - 2.17% (Volume 101)
Deniese Williams - 0.00% (Volume 110)

Future list:
Courtney Simpson
Shannon Elizabeth
Deborah Hersman
*on deck
Emily Bett Rickards
Alexandra Daddario
Shakira
Marlee Matlin
Debbe Dunning
Carey Mulligan
Michelle Phillips
Carrie Mulligan
Jordan Carver
Yvonne Strahovski
Maria Sharapova
Taylor Cole
Longhorned's friend Becky
Vanessa Williams

[azcat49]

Hot but fading fast IMO

[ASUHATER!]

was hot in entourage like 8 years ago. now she's edging into late 30s territory and is fading for sure.

[77HoyaCat4Ever]

Nice nips

[JMarkJohns]

Never got this one. Cute. Sexy, even, but not hot.

[KOQSTRONG]

Always had a thing for her for some reason. Nice you have Alexandra Daddario on the upcoming list twice!!

[Alieberman]

In protest of Allison Brie not getting 100%, I am voting no for the rest of the ladies on this list.

[The Butcher]

ain't nothing I haven't already seen. Sorry but she ain't doing it.

[azgreg]

Always had a thing for her for some reason. Nice you have Alexandra Daddario on the upcoming list twice!!

No she isn't.

[pokinmik]

She was smoking hot in her Harold and Kumar scene, smoking hot. That movie is ten years old now though (where'd my 20's go?). But still, hot in my book for sure.

[Chicat]

ain't nothing I haven't already seen.

Well, she is a human...

[azgreg]

This is her this year. Still hot.

[Olsondogg]

Lots of people on crack in this thread.

[cpt]

I wish it were a sliding scale. She's hot - but just barely.

[Alieberman]

Lots of people on crack in this thread.

The ones saying she's hot or the one's saying not?

For the record. I am not on crack and I voted not hot.

[thenewazcats]

I think it's important to think of yourself as an intelligent, wealthy, attractive, famous male with a giant schlong when voting in polls like these. I'm not saying I'm any of those, or none of them, but for scientific purposes, this must be the mindset when voting on a celebrity's hotness and ugliness. Therefore, not hot.

[ASUCatFan]

Looks too much like my ex wife. For that reason (and probably that reason alone), I'm going for not.

[Longhorned]

As with Alieberman, my 'no' vote may have some spite after the Brie strong showing, which should have been a perfect showing.

[azgreg]

The results on this vote are really puzzling to me.

[Longhorned]

Open Letter to the Puzzled

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Dear Puzzled,

Let's talk about this. Malin Akerman, who is currently at about 50/50 rather than your expected near-100% level, is a perfect example of what the other 50% like to refer to as an opened bag of Cheetos.

For about half of the world population, it holds that there's no such thing as an unopened bag of Cheetos. This is because half of all households who buy Cheetos have someone in house who opens the bag of Cheetos before you even know they're in the house. A bag of Cheetos is a delicious prospect, but only for the opener. After 10 minutes of exposure to air and moist hands, the remaining Cheetos turn into orange styrofoam. Repeated exposure to an opened bag of Cheetos leads to the unfair conclusion that Cheetos aren't that desirable.

White blonde women with Barbie Doll figures were, for just about all of us, our first targets. For about half of us, these experiences were disappointments. For the other half, they were the gift that kept on giving.

Now I want to be absolutely clear on this: The disappointed henceforth moved on to brunettes and freckly redheads, who never carried the high expectations that Barbie Dolls had for us. Eventually, we married one of these, but we did this before we had the chance to explore women of all kinds of colors and shapes, who subsequently became unrealized ideals in the way that Barbie Dolls were for us long ago. Looking at Malin Akerman, however, all we see is an opened bag of Cheetos.

Sincerely,
Longhorned*

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

*Married a brunette. Votes hot on Latinas, Blacks, Asians, and brunettes, as well as blondes who have the power of a ripe Camembert rather than the mildness of a young Monterrey Jack.

[Longhorned]

[Alieberman]

Love it Longhorned!


Rarely do I buy cheetos... but if I do... I eat the entire bag in one sitting. I then feel disgusting and ashamed.

[gumby]

In protest of Allison Brie not getting 100%, I am voting no for the rest of the ladies on this list.

Lower than Alyssa Milano, according to the dudes here.

I demand a recount!

As for Ackerman, well, I'm up upper lip man, and hers ... I just dunno.

[gumby]

I once had to pull over during vacation, because someone had opened a bag of Cheetos, and my son turned white.

He had to get some fresh air and walk around. And we ditched the Cheetos. Same thing with Cheez-its, which are my daughter's fave. He can't be in the same room without gagging.

This, by the way, is no reflection on the lovely Ms. Ackerman.

[legallykenny]

She's basically perfect.

[Merkin]

Her high forehead is up there with Rihanna, Christina Ricci and Helen Hunt.

Her eyes are halfway down her head.




Contrast that with a real hottie Megan Fox whose eyes are 40% down from the top of her head.

[catgrad97]

The Cheetos parable applies to so many situations.

But I've applied an older Hollywood rule to this vapid va-va-voomer ever since The Watchmen: I don't know how to pronounce her name and she doesn't have enough talent that I should have to.

This, of course, goes back to our bubbly European Italoscandinavian bimbos from 1950s and '60s sex comedies. Only nobody took them as seriously.

Call it the Bella Darvi Rule.

[Olsondogg]

Lots of people on crack in this thread.

The ones saying she's hot or the one's saying not?

For the record. I am not on crack and I voted not hot.

[Reydituto]

Hot. Olsondogg & azgreg are correct, despite ASUCatFan's valid reasons and Longhorned's sublime allegorical essay on the male condition. Some of you indeed must be on crack ...

[Longhorned]

Give me:

[Longhorned]

... instead of:



(if I have to pick, and if beggars can be choosers)