Depression and Anxiety Thread

[CatsbyAZ]

Good stuff fellas. I'm definitely prone to high anxiety so I can get a little wound up with fear and loathing. My 20yo daughter is in lockdown residence with me so it's been nice to have her around otherwise I'd be totally alone.

...

Be well guys.

This is the best post in this thread.

[CatsbyAZ]

Since we're on the subject, anyone with experience practicing "meditation?"

After all this blows over and everything opens back up I want to look into formally doing meditation.

Looking more for the mental element, nothing spiritual or anything focused more on the physical, like yoga. Anyone with any recommendations as to what I can look into?

I live with walking distance of a number of 'health & wellness' studios.

[pc in NM]

Since we're on the subject, anyone with experience practicing "meditation?"

After all this blows over and everything opens back up I want to look into formally doing meditation.

Looking more for the mental element, nothing spiritual or anything focused more on the physical, like yoga. Anyone with any recommendations as to what I can look into?

I live with walking distance of a number of 'health & wellness' studios.

Why wait? Here's a good introduction

A 5-Minute Breathing Meditation To Cultivate Mindfulness

Reduce stress, anxiety, and negative emotions, cool yourself down when your temper flares, and sharpen your concentration skills.

How do you cultivate mindfulness? One way is to meditate. A basic method is to focus your attention on your own breathing—a practice simply called “mindful breathing.” After setting aside time to practice mindful breathing, you’ll find it easier to focus attention on your breath in your daily life—an important skill to help you deal with stress, anxiety, and negative emotions, cool yourself down when your temper flares, and sharpen your ability to concentrate.
Time required:

15 minutes daily for at least a week (though evidence suggests that mindfulness increases the more you practice it).

How to do it

The most basic way to do mindful breathing is simply to focus your attention on your breath, the inhale and exhale. You can do this while standing, but ideally you’ll be sitting or even lying in a comfortable position. Your eyes may be open or closed, but you may find it easier to maintain your focus if you close your eyes. It can help to set aside a designated time for this exercise, but it can also help to practice it when you’re feeling particularly stressed or anxious. Experts believe a regular practice of mindful breathing can make it easier to do it in difficult situations.

Sometimes, especially when trying to calm yourself in a stressful moment, it might help to start by taking an exaggerated breath: a deep inhale through your nostrils (3 seconds), hold your breath (2 seconds), and a long exhale through your mouth (4 seconds). Otherwise, simply observe each breath without trying to adjust it; it may help to focus on the rise and fall of your chest or the sensation through your nostrils. As you do so, you may find that your mind wanders, distracted by thoughts or bodily sensations. That’s okay. Just notice that this is happening and gently bring your attention back to your breath.

Find a relaxed, comfortable position. You could be seated on a chair or on the floor on a cushion. Keep your back upright, but not too tight. Hands resting wherever they’re comfortable. Tongue on the roof of your mouth or wherever it’s comfortable.

Notice and relax your body. Try to notice the shape of your body, its weight. Let yourself relax and become curious about your body seated here—the sensations it experiences, the touch, the connection with the floor or the chair. Relax any areas of tightness or tension. Just breathe.

Tune into your breath. Feel the natural flow of breath—in, out. You don’t need to do anything to your breath. Not long, not short, just natural. Notice where you feel your breath in your body. It might be in your abdomen. It may be in your chest or throat or in your nostrils. See if you can feel the sensations of breath, one breath at a time. When one breath ends, the next breath begins.

Be kind to your wandering mind. Now as you do this, you might notice that your mind may start to wander. You may start thinking about other things. If this happens, it is not a problem. It’s very natural. Just notice that your mind has wandered. You can say “thinking” or “wandering” in your head softly. And then gently redirect your attention right back to the breathing.

Stay here for five to seven minutes. Notice your breath, in silence. From time to time, you’ll get lost in thought, then return to your breath.

Check in before you check out. After a few minutes, once again notice your body, your whole body, seated here. Let yourself relax even more deeply and then offer yourself some appreciation for doing this practice today.

https://www.mindful.org/a-five-minute-b ... editation/" target="_blank

This is a great beginning, and a baseline upon which you can add technique.

I added a mantra (simple as "Ommmmmm) when first taught this back in the '70's, for the exhale portion (I find it assists with the "wandering mind" stuff)....

[Longhorned]

What, no depression and anxiety thread? I'm not anxious, but I am depressed. I was extremely anxious back in mid-March and much of April, but I think the anxiety got snuffed out by depression.

Personally, I find it very difficult to make it through a day, mainly due to the futility of it all.

I'm not sure depression can be talked about without politics, since [DELETED]. Otherwise, we'd primarily feel the kind of solidarity that Londoners felt while taking shelter in tomb stations as Germans bombed the shit out of them. So mods, feel free to move this thread.

If I had to explain how the depression feels to a person who doesn't have depression, I'd compare it to sitting in a gray room with a broken clock and eating a really dry, warm, mealy peach with no taste of peach while, simultaneously, you have to support large, heavy brick on your lap and listening to Barbara Streisand or Roberta Flack on a continuous loop.

I hope I get eaten by a bear.

[CalStateTempe]

LH, I’m right there with you.

In feb and March I was doing well with this, channeling all my anger in to work I working with colleagues at work and elsewhere in cool projects to beat this thing.

Then 1) futility of it all and stupidity of our gov and it’s people really started getting to me about early May. And 2) in my professional circle, battle fatigued seemed to set in among many of us and Kirk what always happens , shit gets political among docs working together on projects outside of their routine clinical roles, which is so exhausting to hear and deal with.

The really kicker for me was with the forest service canceled climbing above 10k in mt Shasta from late April to mid May. I knew/suspected it would be lifted for our scheduled trip (it was) And it spooked three potential climbing partner’s wives and girlfriends not to let them go. Funny the dude with a wife two kids had her full support both those without kids had the hall pass pulled.

I cant give Enough detail about what Mount Shasta means to me, the climbing season is only about two months and that is it a good year of snow. To do it right you need to commit to about 10 to 12 weeks of fitness. As you drive up to it it’s an imposing monolith from about100 miles out and it’s your beacon as you get closer to it. When you’re on the mountain you’re just a loan with your best buddies in expansive wilderness, but cradled by the ridge lines around you that you’re trying to achieve, pushing your body to the limit. I never really knew what it meant to “Iive for a hobby” until I took up trying to summit this damn mountain, but I now know what that means. And I am pissed and depressed that I have to wait one more year for my shot at it.

To add to that I am really pissed that all national and state campgrounds in California are closed, but the restaurants, bars, and golf courses are open. Can’t have too many cars at the trailheads they say but let’s pack the packing lots. Hypocritical bullshit. I guess us nature lovers don’t spend enough....

My anxiety has ramped up over the past few weeks with primarily becasue people like my ideas and are supporting them/me, but there is the politics I am navigating with those that have the power to approve and deny those ideas and/or projects. I’m conflicted because I like putting time to stuff I care about, but worry about the opportunity costs involved.

Personally, I just keep bearing down and chopping wood. It will all get better with time.

[Phylek]

Dude, I wish I could do something for you guys.

Admittedly, each time I need to go to the grocery store it hits me really hard. I come home just...sad. empty shelves, sad people, and people not having the decency to wear a mask. It all saddens me because it's all evidence of what a terrible thing is happening in our country. Not just the virus. More so the political divide. There's so much hate. So much judgement.

The virus we could deal with if we were actually united. The pandemic is going to be so much worse because of the divide and because that divide is preventing people from don't something as simple as wear a mask. It's the stupidest and most childish fight I've ever seen. It's like trying to put a bow in your toddlers hair for 5 minutes for a picture and they throw an absolute fit over it. In the end it's caused a tremendous amount of stress and caused a 5 minute picture session take 30 minutes, most of which is fighting and crying.

All I can do is come home, look around, and take stock of my wonderful life and all its blessings. Sometimes the blessings grow, sometimes the decrease. But they're always there.

[Alieberman]

So I did start a Mental Health thread a few weeks ago:

viewtopic.php?f=13&t=6163

I'm struggling right now as well.

I'm out of a job and have too much time on my hands. I'm basically an introvert but not seeing people is not helping.
I worry about the virus
I worry about the future
I worry about money
I worry about my kids schooling
I worry about my kids mental state
I worry about my friends who are basically sheltering in place all by themselves without a partner / family
I worry about a lot.

There are some days when I plan do do lots of house projects but I can't get off the couch binge watching something.

This sucks.

[dovecanyoncat]

I find it depressive that in a world largely constituted by others and otherness we came to this crisis already suffering alienation, and now, when it matters most, that alienation is being nurtured, exploited, and politicized solely for the benefit of those whose moral obligation it is to protect the common good. So we, as individuals and solitary family units, are forced to retreat further from organic support and to rely more heavily on the elements of modernity that laid the groundwork for the original alienation in the first place. Now, all our organic touchstones of socializing and humanity will be further at distance: we'll tele-connect with Drs.; we'll gather and worship at distance; we'll repair to family digitally; the food of love will arrive curbside; our emotional/psycho/physiological immunities to life's strength-inducing challenges will wither in desperate bubbles of isolated safety.

Beyond my wife my personal salvation is an open western sky, it's fragrant perfumed air, and the renewal of nature. I think I have a kinship with CST in that. If I couldn't go there, if only within a narrow provisional freedom, I would slowly go mad.

[Longhorned]

So I did start a Mental Health thread a few weeks ago:

viewtopic.php?f=13&t=6163

I'm struggling right now as well.

I'm out of a job and have too much time on my hands. I'm basically an introvert but not seeing people is not helping.
I worry about the virus
I worry about the future
I worry about money
I worry about my kids schooling
I worry about my kids mental state
I worry about my friends who are basically sheltering in place all by themselves without a partner / family
I worry about a lot.

There are some days when I plan do do lots of house projects but I can't get off the couch binge watching something.

This sucks.

One of the qualities of depression is unclear thinking. I actually posted in that thread, but I'm too disoriented by depression to make meaningful connections.

I worry about all those things, except maybe having too much time on my hands. That would make it worse for me.

[Alieberman]

Now I'm worrying about starting unmemorable threads.

[pc in NM]

So I did start a Mental Health thread a few weeks ago:

viewtopic.php?f=13&t=6163

I'm struggling right now as well.

I'm out of a job and have too much time on my hands. I'm basically an introvert but not seeing people is not helping.
I worry about the virus
I worry about the future
I worry about money
I worry about my kids schooling
I worry about my kids mental state
I worry about my friends who are basically sheltering in place all by themselves without a partner / family
I worry about a lot.

There are some days when I plan do do lots of house projects but I can't get off the couch binge watching something.

This sucks.

Get help. therapy is available telephonically all over the country - go to someone a friend has liked or recommended. Ask your PCP for a referral.... Talk openly with those adults in your life.

Also, don't wait to feel better to be physically active - feelings follow activity, not vice-versa.... get an "exercise buddy" (anything - walks, bike, hiking, whatever) - they will aid with implementing "plans"....

Being outdoors is, in and of itself, good - neighborhood, park, anything in nature....

Just do it!!! (And, "bear down!!!")

[Chicat]

I could certainly use ..... something.

I’m out of work for the third time in six years.

I’m drinking a fucking ton.

My insomnia is out of fucking control.

If it wasn’t for the fact that an amazing woman loves me and trusts me and believes in me...

If it wasn’t for two amazing young boys who need me to give them the start in this life they deserve...

Well, I really don’t know.

Thank God I have what I have. It gets me up and going in the morning and wanting to be a better man.

[scumdevils86]

Yea if it wasn't for my amazing wife who has to go through a lot harder things than me right now and for my job which kicks my ass a lot but is fun and rewarding too....I'd be in a very dark place. I already don't have motivation to do anything productive after work and likely am drinking too much. I've never been a hugely social person but until this weekend I'd left my house for only about 90 mins a week for 9 weeks straight. Mostly just to grocery shop. It has eaten at me for sure.

[Alieberman]

So I did start a Mental Health thread a few weeks ago:

viewtopic.php?f=13&t=6163

I'm struggling right now as well.

I'm out of a job and have too much time on my hands. I'm basically an introvert but not seeing people is not helping.
I worry about the virus
I worry about the future
I worry about money
I worry about my kids schooling
I worry about my kids mental state
I worry about my friends who are basically sheltering in place all by themselves without a partner / family
I worry about a lot.

There are some days when I plan do do lots of house projects but I can't get off the couch binge watching something.

This sucks.

Get help. therapy is available telephonically all over the country - go to someone a friend has liked or recommended. Ask your PCP for a referral.... Talk openly with those adults in your life.

Also, don't wait to feel better to be physically active - feelings follow activity, not vice-versa.... get an "exercise buddy" (anything - walks, bike, hiking, whatever) - they will aid with implementing "plans"....

Being outdoors is, in and of itself, good - neighborhood, park, anything in nature....

Just do it!!! (And, "bear down!!!")

Thanks. The physically active part is very true and I have been in a fairly stable place mentally over the last 2 years ever since I started running / swimming regularly. I always feel better when I am active. My problem now is that I stopped going to my gym to swim (they closed but have now reopened but I don't feel good about going there) and I stopped running since the excessive heat started. To run, I really need to get out of bed by 6am.... and that has been a struggle. I know I need to force myself to do it.

[Longhorned]

I’m willing to make all the sacrifices to beat this pandemic, even if the sacrifices are made futile by people who refuse to make any.

But it does seem inhuman to not be able to go sit somewhere in a public place and have a beer. Or a meal or whatever.

And to sit at home unable even to follow the glorious meaninglessness of sports.

There’s only so much time you can spend reading great literature. It isn’t really a replacement for this puddle of endless silence.

If only all there were a national strategy so there was a point to any of this.

[dovecanyoncat]

I could certainly use ..... something.

I’m out of work for the third time in six years.

I’m drinking a fucking ton.

My insomnia is out of fucking control.

I don't know anything about insomnia, but I do know that alcohol is a sleep cycle wrecker. Replacing the hootch with the endorphins of a post exercise routine has helped me a ton lately. I've cut way back on wine and my wife has stopped altogether during the last month or more. Hell, we've both lost a significant amount of weight and sleep much better. Still, every morning is a coin toss/crap shoot . We never know what mood we'll wake up in. I personally feel sometimes like I'm back in the dark days of highschool and I have to recreate myself from oblivion upon every awakening....that old bloody horror.

Maybe give it a week off the sauce and see if anything improves? I don't really know what the fuck I'm talking about. Just wanna help if I can.

[ASUHATER!]

I’m willing to make all the sacrifices to beat this pandemic, even if the sacrifices are made futile by people who refuse to make any.

But it does seem inhuman to not be able to go sit somewhere in a public place and have a beer. Or a meal or whatever.

And to sit at home unable even to follow the glorious meaninglessness of sports.

There’s only so much time you can spend reading great literature. It isn’t really a replacement for this puddle of endless silence.

If only all there were a national strategy so there was a point to any of this.

That's the issue. Most of us have no problem with quarantining and making sacrifices. It's just that there's no national leadership or plan or anything to let us know how long we have to do this. Just makes it seem futile when our leadership doesn't care and is encouraging the death of more people.

[dovecanyoncat]

I’m willing to make all the sacrifices to beat this pandemic, even if the sacrifices are made futile by people who refuse to make any.

But it does seem inhuman to not be able to go sit somewhere in a public place and have a beer. Or a meal or whatever.

And to sit at home unable even to follow the glorious meaninglessness of sports.

There’s only so much time you can spend reading great literature. It isn’t really a replacement for this puddle of endless silence.

If only all there were a national strategy so there was a point to any of this.

That's the issue. Most of us have no problem with quarantining and making sacrifices. It's just that there's no national leadership or plan or anything to let us know how long we have to do this. Just makes it seem futile when our leadership doesn't care and is encouraging the death of more people.

It's worse than that, leadership is encouraging us to blame and attack and kill each other.

[84Cat]

I’m willing to make all the sacrifices to beat this pandemic, even if the sacrifices are made futile by people who refuse to make any.

But it does seem inhuman to not be able to go sit somewhere in a public place and have a beer. Or a meal or whatever.

And to sit at home unable even to follow the glorious meaninglessness of sports.

There’s only so much time you can spend reading great literature. It isn’t really a replacement for this puddle of endless silence.

If only all there were a national strategy so there was a point to any of this.

That's the issue. Most of us have no problem with quarantining and making sacrifices. It's just that there's no national leadership or plan or anything to let us know how long we have to do this. Just makes it seem futile when our leadership doesn't care and is encouraging the death of more people.

It's worse than that, leadership is encouraging us to blame and attack and kill each other.

True, bots are driving the narrative on social media. Who do we think is driving this?

[Phylek]

I'm really glad to hear people sharing in this thread. Not that I'm glad that people are depressed, but that it's out in the open. I'm no mental health expert, but I strongly believe in taking care of yourself mentally through therapy if necessary. I've gone this route a few times in my life when things were at their worst. One thing this has taught me is getting those feelings out in the open is important. If you don't share, you face them alone. And in this setting it's really great because we can all see that the depression we're feeling is natural. There's not something wrong with us because we feel this way. We're all struggling. This way we go through the struggle together. One weird thing about this social distancing and isolation is that support systems are going to become more impersonal. But we still all need those support systems. This forum can actually be a support system by encouraging each other to not be embarrassed to share these feelings of hopelessness. We can also share our triumphs and coping mechanisms.

I have not previously shared what I'm sharing in this post because it's extremely personal and the details are so unbelievable that I had intended to wait to share all I've gone through the last few years once I emerge victorious on the other side. However, if my story and struggle will help others, and because the end seems ever distant, I'm sharing now. Please, be respectful.

I'm generally a pretty positive and upbeat person. I, naturally, look for the best in any situation. It may shock people here, but my ex-wife started all this legal stuff against me long ago; shes been trying for over 4 years to bring criminal charges against me. In the beginning I thought it best to be cooperative with law enforcement and the first time I went to meet with them they arrested me and put me in jail for a week. They have never had a shred of evidence of what's she's claimed and no witness has come forward to support her story. In fact, the evidence that they have gotten through their various subpoena's and what not have disproven her story and witnesses have come forward with stories that prove her story a lie, including our oldest daughter. Additionally, when the people making these claims have taken the stand they have contradicted, changed, and recanted their stories. The sheriff never did an investigation and never spoke to a single person involved outside of the two people making the claim before arresting me. The case has been thrown out multiple times due to perjury by the sheriff and prosecutorial misconduct. But at this point, if the state doesn't take it to trial because of these issues they leave themselves open to a lawsuit(which I would never actually do) for the consequences I've had the last 4 years. One of which is that I haven't been able to see or communicate with my other children since January 2017 because my ex-wife used a law to get full custody as long as there is a pending charge. The damage that this must be causing my children makes me weep. Her reasons for doing this are two-fold. One money(we had a stipend in the amount of $1500 non taxed that we received monthly for adopting two of the children that went to me because I had legal custody). Two reputation. She took an incredible hit when she had the affair and left in 2012. She lost her parents and a lot of friends. Now she's using this to get people back on her side. Sadly, it's working. It's like people don't remember what they themselves witnessed. I was excited because trial was to be June 1st. The only way I can make this go away is to finally have a trial and a verdict. Once that happens she can never try this again. Because of all this the trial is getting pushed back to December. Another 6 months without resolution. Another six months without those 3 kids. Another 6 months of missing out on milestones and memories. Another 6 months of my ex-wife telling them that they haven't seen me in 4 years because I decided I don't love them and wanted them to go away(yes, I know for a fact that this is what she's telling them).

I can't fully express the pain and depression I've felt. Not just from what I'm going through, but also because someone I once loved and continue to care about is doing it. Also because of the pain this is causing our children. My youngest girls have no idea who their siblings are. My parents haven't been able to see their grandchildren for as long as I haven't. My oldest daughter hasn't seen them in all this time because she supports me and is waiting to testify that her mother is a deceptive manipulative person who once even tried to steal her social security benefits, so my ex-wife cut her out of all their lives. All of those relationships torn apart because of the selfishness of two people I cared for, provided for, and protected. At times I wish I was guilty of something because at least then the kids would have been removed by the state and I would have still had visits and communication. They would be told every time I talked to them that they are loved. But this loophole that gave her temporary custody for as long as there are charges is an avenue of abuse. Charges have come and been dismissed, so they've changed the story and done new charges. I've lost so much faith in the justice system and law enforcement, it's not about justice. One of the great ironies is that I had been described as having a great temper and being violent and the sheriff and the prosecutor are trying to use the fact that through this whole process I've been cooperative and calm and never gotten upset and lost my temper as some kind of admission of guilt because it's "so out of character" and "I've given into the guilt". Instead of considering that the character portrayal given by my ex-wife was BS to begin with. Especially when every other person that has known me and lived with me has testified that they never saw me lose my temper or raise a hand against any person. I have never, not once, ever gotten into a fight. Even as a child. Never had any charges. Never had anyone ever make any allegations of any wrongdoing. The only legal issue I've ever had was traffic tickets. I've pretty much spent my life squeaky clean.

Anyway, because of the current political climate my lawyer has continually warned me that I could still lose at trial. I don't see how it's possible, but I also never imagined this could go on for 4 years when the evidence and witnesses go against the story. My lawyer has informed me that at this point it's political. So many mistakes(both unintentional and intentional on the state's part) have been made in the case that if they don't see it through and try to get me convicted that people will get in trouble. At this point 3 state prosecutors have found an excuse to quit the case and dump it on someone else, so I'm on my 4th. The one that has it now is all in. I'm on my 3rd or 4th judge because judges have recused themselves from the case, so things are just a mess. If I'm found guilty I lose my life. They have trumped up the charges and stacked charges and are going for 120 years in prison. So, at this point, I look at things as if they could be my last. Last birthdays. Last holidays. Last summer. Last monsoons. I'm on the verge of tears a lot. Heck, I'm in tears a lot.

But I'm a man of faith. There are too many things out of my control to stress about them. When I spent that week in jail I knew it couldn't last. I knew it had to be temporary, so I decided to make the most of a terrible situation. I had something no one else in there had. Hope. I'd never been in such a hopeless place filled by so many hopeless people. I really feel that if I hadn't decided to go into it like a missions trip wanting to help others I would have fallen into despair. I did what I could. I read for guys that couldn't read. I wrote for guys that couldn't write. I helped guys understand legal paperwork they were getting. I did Bible studies with guys. I played pinochle and joked with them. I joked with the guard and thanked them for the work they do. Whatever I could do to bring joy and hope to others. By the time I was released I had feelings of genuine fondness for these guys that were unexpected. I cared for them. When the block found out I was going home guys yelled in excitement, high-fived me, hugged me, and I was actually in tears saying goodbye. One of the scariest men I've ever met in my life gave me one the most genuine tight hugs I've ever gotten and with tears thanked me for helping him write and mail a letter to a cousin who's father had recently passed. It was all so crazy. The first thing I did when I got home(aside from an amazing night with my wife that I hadn't seen in a week) was log into the pima county jail website and send gifts to inmates from the commissary. My wife often talks about how she was stressing and losing control at that time more than I was. We spoke on the phone often and I was upbeat and encouraging to her.

My point is, we need to keep hope. Not just for ourselves, but for each other. It's easy for me to be positive and look for the best, but some struggle with that. It's a personality thing. My wife is one of those that doesn't easily pull herself out a a depressive spiral. I would encourage everyone here to share their struggles, but to do your best to also share your blessings. They're always there.

Chicat, reading your post moved me because I know you're struggling. Loss of work is hard. Especially for a man. But in that same post I'm encouraged because of the incredibly blessing of your wife and children. As lucky as you are to have them, they are lucky to have you. A father who writes this, "If it wasn’t for two amazing young boys who need me to give them the start in this life they deserve..." Is a father I admire. I mean that. You are their hope. Your wife sounds like a great woman, you're lucky to have her. You're also lucky that she recognized good husband material.

Ari, you started a thread on mental health. thank you. I hate that it didn't get the attention it deserved, but we're all a bunch of prideful guys that don't talk about our feelings. Thank you for you openness and for being a leader and recognizing a need before the rest of us did.

Longhorned, Your post is eye opening. I'm extremely grateful for you because you've brought so many smiles to my face with your humor and just plain wackiness. We could totally hang. I also appreciate how clearly intelligent you are and the depth and perspective you can bring to conversations. your insight about other countries being community center instead of self-centered really put into words something I felt but couldn't express. Thank you for all you bring to this community.

CalState, thanks for your perspective. I miss camping, too. Keep chopping at that wood and keep you head up.

scumdevils, over the years you've changed as much as anyone. I admire the commitment to supporting your wife as she fights this on the front lines. One of the hardest things a person can do is be strong and encouraging for someone else while at the same time being terrified for them. This is not lost on people. She's lucky to have her at her side. I have no doubt that as she's at work struggling with her own feelings that coming home to you is the goal she keeps working toward. Own that role. Make your home a place of refuge to recharge before going back into the fight.

dovemountaincat and pcinNM thank you for your contributions and advice in this thread.

In the end, we are all going to get through this. It would be really great to all meet up at the Pac-12 tournament in Vegas and buy each other a drink to thank each other for all working together to get through this.

I'm praying for all of you whether that's a belief you subscribe to or not. And I thank you for your thoughts, prayers, or whatever as I struggle through the next 6 months or so.

Also, please share your blessings. It's not just encouraging to others, but it's good to force yourself to take stock and write them down. It''s help more than you know. Let's get that Why I Own The World Thread active.

[Chicat]

Phy, you are an amazing person.

I wish I had a better word than “amazing” but that’s all I’ve got right now.

Thank you for being you and for giving all of us the gifts you have.

[UAEebs86]

Phylek you are living proof that no good deed goes unpunished.

I'd tell you to hang in there but that seems simplistic given you obviously have better coping mechanisms than just about anyone I've ever met. I can tell no matter what happens you'll be OK.

[Phylek]

Thanks, guys. That was extremely difficult to share.

[Alieberman]

I don't have the time to properly comment on that post right, but I will tomorrow.

I am blown away though.

Phylek....I don't understand how you can have the attitude and graciousness that you possess with everything that you have described.... you offered me advise on my little problems and I wish I could reciprocate... but anything I would suggest is less than what you are already doing.

We have never met but I am pulling for you in a very real and emotional way.

[Longhorned]

Phylek, I don't like to speak for others, but I do like to speak for others when it comes to you. You've been an inspiration to us going on a couple of decades now. I wish I could do more to honor the example you set, but I'll settle for the inspiration.

I'm devastated by what you're going through, and I'm so, so sorry.

[scumdevils86]

Damn phy. I'm largely speechless but can only wish you the best. I'm assuredly a drastically weaker person who would've crumbled a hundred times under that kind of insanity. Thank you for your kind words.

[OriginalAZ]

I just found this thread and it is amazing. I have been following this board in its various forms for probably around 20 years now. I had some occasional posts but never felt like I had anything significant to post.
I have gone through a lot in those 20 years and somehow ended up being a psychiatrist. It's not something I ever thought I would do but I realized my own struggles with depression led me to this path. It is something I am glad that I do and I am glad I am helping people.
It may seem like a I am successful with a nice job, wife, 4 kids, etc. but the depression struggle is always real. The last few months I have struggled to get motivated to take care of my own mental health. Weight lifting and hiking are probably my biggest stress relievers but I have been struggling with a herniated disc in my back. Back pain sucks. That on top of this Covid crap has really brought me down.
Phylek I can't imagine what you are going through. You are very strong to share your story with us. I am sure that in some way it must have been therapeutic for you. I will pray for the best for you and everyone here. Everyone has their struggles and I am glad this board is here.

[Olsondogg]

I'm saddened to hear about everyone's struggles. Especially Phy. I don't really have words, and I am the farthest thing from a a man of faith, but I do have hope that things will work out.

As someone who has struggled with depression off and on for majority of my life, I can say that communicating about feelings and therapy have helped me.

[Chicat]

I could certainly use ..... something.

I’m out of work for the third time in six years.

I’m drinking a fucking ton.

My insomnia is out of fucking control.

I don't know anything about insomnia, but I do know that alcohol is a sleep cycle wrecker. Replacing the hootch with the endorphins of a post exercise routine has helped me a ton lately. I've cut way back on wine and my wife has stopped altogether during the last month or more. Hell, we've both lost a significant amount of weight and sleep much better. Still, every morning is a coin toss/crap shoot . We never know what mood we'll wake up in. I personally feel sometimes like I'm back in the dark days of highschool and I have to recreate myself from oblivion upon every awakening....that old bloody horror.

Maybe give it a week off the sauce and see if anything improves? I don't really know what the fuck I'm talking about. Just wanna help if I can.

Sorry, been meaning to come back to this. I definitely know the havoc that alcohol does on the sleep cycle. Unfortunately I seem to be caught in a Catch-22. Either I drink and fall asleep, and then subsequently wake up in the middle of the night and stay up for long periods, or I don't drink and can't fall asleep and end up staying up for long hours wrecking any hope I had of a good night's sleep. It's a motherfucker for sure.

Maybe I'll try to cut out the booze for a week and see if I can get myself to fall asleep through other methods (meditation seems to work somewhat). Good advice, thanks DCC.

[Longhorned]

Chi, what about that no screens rule after 8 pm or whenever it is? I’ve never been strong enough to do it.

[Chicat]

Chi, what about that no screens rule after 8 pm or whenever it is? I’ve never been strong enough to do it.

I can barely do a no screens rule after 1 am.

[baycat93]

I could certainly use ..... something.

I’m out of work for the third time in six years.

I’m drinking a fucking ton.

My insomnia is out of fucking control.

I don't know anything about insomnia, but I do know that alcohol is a sleep cycle wrecker. Replacing the hootch with the endorphins of a post exercise routine has helped me a ton lately. I've cut way back on wine and my wife has stopped altogether during the last month or more. Hell, we've both lost a significant amount of weight and sleep much better. Still, every morning is a coin toss/crap shoot . We never know what mood we'll wake up in. I personally feel sometimes like I'm back in the dark days of highschool and I have to recreate myself from oblivion upon every awakening....that old bloody horror.

Maybe give it a week off the sauce and see if anything improves? I don't really know what the fuck I'm talking about. Just wanna help if I can.

Sorry, been meaning to come back to this. I definitely know the havoc that alcohol does on the sleep cycle. Unfortunately I seem to be caught in a Catch-22. Either I drink and fall asleep, and then subsequently wake up in the middle of the night and stay up for long periods, or I don't drink and can't fall asleep and end up staying up for long hours wrecking any hope I had of a good night's sleep. It's a motherfucker for sure.

Maybe I'll try to cut out the booze for a week and see if I can get myself to fall asleep through other methods (meditation seems to work somewhat). Good advice, thanks DCC.

Shout out to longhorned for the 4/7 meditation. really like it. for sleep i think it is most effective if done earlier in the day a couple times as well.

[Longhorned]

I could certainly use ..... something.

I’m out of work for the third time in six years.

I’m drinking a fucking ton.

My insomnia is out of fucking control.

I don't know anything about insomnia, but I do know that alcohol is a sleep cycle wrecker. Replacing the hootch with the endorphins of a post exercise routine has helped me a ton lately. I've cut way back on wine and my wife has stopped altogether during the last month or more. Hell, we've both lost a significant amount of weight and sleep much better. Still, every morning is a coin toss/crap shoot . We never know what mood we'll wake up in. I personally feel sometimes like I'm back in the dark days of highschool and I have to recreate myself from oblivion upon every awakening....that old bloody horror.

Maybe give it a week off the sauce and see if anything improves? I don't really know what the fuck I'm talking about. Just wanna help if I can.

Sorry, been meaning to come back to this. I definitely know the havoc that alcohol does on the sleep cycle. Unfortunately I seem to be caught in a Catch-22. Either I drink and fall asleep, and then subsequently wake up in the middle of the night and stay up for long periods, or I don't drink and can't fall asleep and end up staying up for long hours wrecking any hope I had of a good night's sleep. It's a motherfucker for sure.

Maybe I'll try to cut out the booze for a week and see if I can get myself to fall asleep through other methods (meditation seems to work somewhat). Good advice, thanks DCC.

Shout out to longhorned for the 4/7 meditation. really like it. for sleep i think it is most effective if done earlier in the day a couple times as well.

Isn't it like magic? I've never had anything that puts me back to sleep instantly. Instead of staying awake for hours, I'm right back to sleep. I can't believe it works.

[baycat93]

I have only been doing it since you last posted it... maybe 10 days or so (totally have no concept of time right now), and need to be more consistent. I use it mostly to help with my day time stress. When used at night it has done just that though.

[84Cat]

Been doing this for years

[Longhorned]

Been doing this for years

I wish I had been doing it for years.

[Phylek]

Just ordered a purple mattress, will add this meditation. Hopefully that helps. I don't really have a lot of trouble sleeping. I have trouble sleeping through the night without pain.

[OriginalAZ]

Just ordered a purple mattress, will add this meditation. Hopefully that helps. I don't really have a lot of trouble sleeping. I have trouble sleeping through the night without pain.

Let us know what you think. I been thinking about trying Purple. I have tried Nest and Loom and Leaf mattresses but still having back pain when I sleep.

[Alieberman]

Just ordered a purple mattress, will add this meditation. Hopefully that helps. I don't really have a lot of trouble sleeping. I have trouble sleeping through the night without pain.

Let us know what you think. I been thinking about trying Purple. I have tried Nest and Loom and Leaf mattresses but still having back pain when I sleep.

We bought a king Purple over 2 years ago.. love it

[scumdevils86]

Been doing this for years

Definitely gonna try this with my reduced booze intake. I need some quality sleep.

[pc in NM]

Just for some perspective...

A third of Americans now show signs of clinical anxiety or depression, Census Bureau finds

Alyssa Fowers and William Wan, The Washington Post Published 1:51 pm PDT, Tuesday, May 26, 2020

A third of Americans are showing signs of clinical anxiety or depression, Census Bureau data shows, the most definitive and alarming sign yet of the psychological toll exacted by the coronavirus pandemic.

When asked questions normally used to screen patients for mental health problems, 24% showed clinically significant symptoms of major depressive disorder and 30% showed symptoms of generalized anxiety disorder.

The findings suggest a huge jump from before the pandemic. For example, on one question about depressed mood, the percentage reporting such symptoms was double that found in a 2014 national survey.

The troubling statistics were released last week in a tranche of data from the Census Bureau. The agency launched an emergency weekly survey of U.S. households at the end of April to measure the pandemic's effects on employment, housing, finances, education and health. In the most recent data release, 1 million households were contacted between May 7 and 12, and more than 42,000 responded.

Buried within that 20-minute survey, U.S. officials included four questions taken nearly word-for-word from a form used by doctors to screen patients for depression and anxiety. Those answers provide a real-time window into the country's collective mental health after three months of fear, isolation, soaring unemployment and continuing uncertainty.

New York, which had the worst coronavirus outbreak in the country, ranked 12th nationwide in terms of share of adults showing symptoms. Nearly half of Mississippians screened positive for anxiety or depression - a staggering number. By contrast, in Iowa, just over a quarter screened positive.

Some groups have been hit harder than others. Rates of anxiety and depression were far higher among younger adults, women and the poor. The worse scores in young adults were especially notable, given that the virus has been more likely to kill the elderly or leave them critically ill.

Read the story here: https://www.sfgate.com/news/article/A-t ... 295858.php" target="_blank

[Phylek]

Just ordered a purple mattress, will add this meditation. Hopefully that helps. I don't really have a lot of trouble sleeping. I have trouble sleeping through the night without pain.

Let us know what you think. I been thinking about trying Purple. I have tried Nest and Loom and Leaf mattresses but still having back pain when I sleep.

It came today and it's set up. I'm like a giddy school boy. I can't wait to go to bed. Is that dumb?

[Alieberman]

Just ordered a purple mattress, will add this meditation. Hopefully that helps. I don't really have a lot of trouble sleeping. I have trouble sleeping through the night without pain.

Let us know what you think. I been thinking about trying Purple. I have tried Nest and Loom and Leaf mattresses but still having back pain when I sleep.

It came today and it's set up. I'm like a giddy school boy. I can't wait to go to bed. Is that dumb?

Not at all... the unpackaging of it was a lot of fun I remember!

Sweet dreams!

[Longhorned]

Just ordered a purple mattress, will add this meditation. Hopefully that helps. I don't really have a lot of trouble sleeping. I have trouble sleeping through the night without pain.

Let us know what you think. I been thinking about trying Purple. I have tried Nest and Loom and Leaf mattresses but still having back pain when I sleep.

It came today and it's set up. I'm like a giddy school boy. I can't wait to go to bed. Is that dumb?

I felt that way about cooking with two Instant Pots simultaneously tonight!

[scumdevils86]

I've slept on a total of 4 different mattresses since 1995. One of which was a twin bed in the dorm for 8 months and another was a futon at my parent's house from 1995-2004.

I can't wait to have my own king bed at my own house with a dishwasher and indoor laundry soon! That will help me sleep. I don't sleep much now.

[Phylek]

Ok. Dang. I'm a believer in the purple mattress.

I just woke up. I didn't set an alarm because I never do unless I have to make an early delivery. I slept amazing. I'm a side sleeper and I always end up with pain in my shoulder and lower back which causes me to toss and turn all night trying to find a position I can sleep in. No pain. I woke a couple times, but fell back asleep immediately. And it's cool. Never got hot at all.

My wife slept through the night. That never happens. She's thrilled.

[azgreg]

We were looking at Purple but they don't offer a split cal king.

[Phylek]

You may not need to go split. My wife and I sleep different and have different preferences, but both slept really well.

[Alieberman]

You may not need to go split. My wife and I sleep different and have different preferences, but both slept really well.

My wife and I have never both loved a bed until we got our Purple.

[azgreg]

You may not need to go split. My wife and I sleep different and have different preferences, but both slept really well.

We have a split cal king adjustable bed.