Kids

scumdevils86 · Post by **scumdevils86** » Mon Feb 01, 2021 3:11 pm

As many are aware baby scumdevils86 is on the way (August 6th). Today we found out that were having baby girl scumdevils86!

As someone who has been part of this community in some way here and at TOS for 17 years now I feel like I've grown up around a lot of you strangers in a way. That being said, even though I'm about to hit 35 and have been here so long...it seems like most of you are in that Gen X range or are older millennials like me.

Point is, though we have a thread for kid pictures and stuff it could be nice to have a place to just talk about your kids in general.

Ask questions, give advice, share stories (good, bad, gross, funny, whatever) and maybe help calm down the newbies like myself.

Chicat · Post by **Chicat** » Mon Feb 01, 2021 3:22 pm

I have no advice for being a dad to baby girls. I almost feel like I had boys on purpose.

That being said, your whole life is about to change for the best and the worst. And there's no way to prepare for that. So just stock up on your favorite booze and ride the wave that nature is about to throw at you.

scumdevils86 · Post by **scumdevils86** » Mon Feb 01, 2021 3:28 pm

I'm just glad my wife is already at an advanced level. She raised her half-siblings for years and worked full time as a nanny and preschool teacher for about 11 years before becoming a nurse. Balances out my complete absence of anything resembling experience with kids.

Merkin · Post by **Merkin** » Mon Feb 01, 2021 3:41 pm

My girl was more work than my two boys combined, and that was even before she was a preteen. But there is a special bond between fathers and daughters, since daddies know what shits boys are to girls.

DrWildcat · Post by **DrWildcat** » Mon Feb 01, 2021 4:04 pm

Sounds like my situation was very similar to yours sd86, as I knew nothing about taking care of kids. I now have 2 young kids, one of each. My son, who is older, has been a pain in the ass since birth while my daughter has been easy. Really, your experience will just depend on your kid. That first year can be pretty rough at times...eat, sleep, cry and changing diapers on little sleep but you will get through it.

CalStateTempe · Post by **CalStateTempe** » Mon Feb 01, 2021 4:05 pm

Being a dad to girls rules and I take it a life’s challenge and privilege to raise smart, kind, socially conscious, fearless, brave, girls with self esteem and self confidence.

I have a 6, 3yo girls and baby girl to be born may 13.

In addition to “girls things” it’s so cool to teach them the science behind cooking (your gonna rock this) build model rockets, play nerf guns, help dad around the house with tools and car stuff, etc. my oldest daughter an I had a blast building my bbq duel fuel kit a few years ago. They e inherited my legos and freaking love them.

Kids rule in general, they just want the love of their parents and to be involved! Boy or girl, involve them in your life and your interests and teach/show them why you enjoy what you do and you can’t go wrong.

watching my then 4yo catch her first fish was a blast.

I love and am so proud of my daughters. They’re gonna kick ass when they are teenagers/adults.

Another tip: the behaviors of stubbornness and questioning that all toddlers and kids do, are those that you want in competent adults. So even when your dead tired try not to come down on them too hard, because those are the traits you want your kids to have as they grow up.

azgreg · Post by **azgreg** » Mon Feb 01, 2021 4:14 pm

Girls? HA! Good luck.

ASUHATER! · Post by **ASUHATER!** » Mon Feb 01, 2021 4:46 pm

Any advice for a soon to be uncle? Haha. I don't plan on having any kids myself so I'll be the cool uncle to the little SD86's around. But Mrs. SD86 who has a lot of experience with kids is convinced that girls are way less of a headache than boys.

Chicat · Post by **Chicat** » Mon Feb 01, 2021 4:50 pm

Being an uncle is the best. When they start being total assholes you can hand them over to their parents.

Alieberman · Post by **Alieberman** » Mon Feb 01, 2021 4:59 pm

I always wanted boys and that's what I ended up having (2)

But now I wish I did have a girl.

You don't need to know anything about being a father.... you will figure it out just like the rest of us idiots did.

scumdevils86 · Post by **scumdevils86** » Mon Feb 01, 2021 5:02 pm

CalStateTempe wrote: ↑Mon Feb 01, 2021 4:05 pm Being a dad to girls rules and I take it a life’s challenge and privilege to raise smart, kind, socially conscious, fearless, brave, girls with self esteem and self confidence.

I have a 6, 3yo girls and baby girl to be born may 13.

In addition to “girls things” it’s so cool to teach them the science behind cooking (your gonna rock this) build model rockets, play nerf guns, help dad around the house with tools and car stuff, etc. my oldest daughter an I had a blast building my bbq duel fuel kit a few years ago. They e inherited my legos and freaking love them.

Kids rule in general, they just want the love of their parents and to be involved! Boy or girl, involve them in your life and your interests and teach/show them why you enjoy what you do and you can’t go wrong.

watching my then 4yo catch her first fish was a blast.

I love and am so proud of my daughters. They’re gonna kick ass when they are teenagers/adults.

Another tip: the behaviors of stubbornness and questioning that all toddlers and kids do, are those that you want in competent adults. So even when your dead tired try not to come down on them too hard, because those are the traits you want your kids to have as they grow up.

This is great thank you. I too want to have my daughter kick ass and take names. If she's anything like my wife, watch out!

scumdevils86 · Post by **scumdevils86** » Mon Feb 01, 2021 5:03 pm

Alieberman wrote: ↑Mon Feb 01, 2021 4:59 pm I always wanted boys and that's what I ended up having (2)

But now I wish I did have a girl.

You don't need to know anything about being a father.... you will figure it out just like the rest of us idiots did.

Indeed. Fake it till you make it.

Merkin · Post by **Merkin** » Mon Feb 01, 2021 5:12 pm

Chicat wrote: ↑Mon Feb 01, 2021 4:50 pm Being an uncle is the best. When they start being total assholes you can hand them over to their parents.

Feel the same way about being a grandparent! Can spoil the little shits and don't even care.

DrWildcat · Post by **DrWildcat** » Mon Feb 01, 2021 6:40 pm

Merkin wrote: ↑Mon Feb 01, 2021 5:12 pm
Chicat wrote: ↑Mon Feb 01, 2021 4:50 pm Being an uncle is the best. When they start being total assholes you can hand them over to their parents.
Feel the same way about being a grandparent! Can spoil the little shits and don't even care.

As now a parent, grandparents are the worst for this very reason!

OriginalAZ · Post by **OriginalAZ** » Mon Feb 01, 2021 7:58 pm

I have 3 girls and a boy. My oldest girl is 11 and she is amazing but stubborn. We have an amazing bond.

84Cat · Post by **84Cat** » Mon Feb 01, 2021 8:12 pm

I have a boy and a girl. The girl was 3 times the work but is an amazing young women. She came out of the womb ready. The midwife even asked us if we were ready because she was going to give us a run for our money and she definitely did. She challenged us at every stage of life but now we have an incredibly strong bond. She is absolutely killing it in life. She turns 30 this year. Damn I'm old

scumdevils86 · Post by **scumdevils86** » Mon Feb 01, 2021 8:19 pm

That's great! And everything I hope for with my daughter (that feels crazy to say!).

How old was everyone when you had your first kid? I suddenly feel old as shit having my first kid at 35. My parents were 29 and 27. My wife's parents were 17.

84Cat · Post by **84Cat** » Mon Feb 01, 2021 8:32 pm

26. Since only one of us worked, I would have liked to be a little older because we just weren't financially established enough and were always scrapping pennies to pay for everything until we started making a little more money. Once our kids were in middle school, we were making enough money to pay for all the extracellular stuff that kids do now

UAEebs86 · Post by **UAEebs86** » Mon Feb 01, 2021 9:04 pm

We were 32 and 34 when our kids were born, one of each.

When I was young, I wasn't sure if I wanted kids (or if anyone wanted to have my kids).
After all, engineers use their personality for birth control.

Once I found someone to have kids with, I knew I wanted at least one boy.
So I was overjoyed when the first ultrasound was a boy.
Even happier when the second ultrasound was a girl, because I knew we could stop. (snip, snip)
Two boys and my wife would have wanted to keep going.

In our case, our son was definitely harder to raise than our daughter, both as babies and as teenagers.
But they are both productive members of society now and off the payroll.

Looking forward to them taking care of us in our old age LOL.

scumdevils86 · Post by **scumdevils86** » Mon Feb 01, 2021 9:19 pm

One of the first things my wife said today after we found out we're having a girl is that "at least now we don't have to try for 3 kids". If we have 2 boys someday we would've tried a 3rd time for a girl.

Chicat · Post by **Chicat** » Mon Feb 01, 2021 9:23 pm

I was 32 when we had our first. 35 with our second.

We were having too much fun to have kids before that.

scumdevils86 · Post by **scumdevils86** » Mon Feb 01, 2021 9:28 pm

I think it helps I went younger haha. I'll be 35 like I said and my wife will be 28/29. Her bday is right at the due date (to her slight dismay).

If anything we were having too much fun but also living the interminable millennial life where we weren't remotely in a position where we felt comfortable financially and everything to have a kid until we'd been together for 7 years and were able to actually save money and buy a house. I still feel like I'm 10 years behind the times!

DrWildcat · Post by **DrWildcat** » Mon Feb 01, 2021 9:36 pm

We were 28 for our first one and 31 for our second.

Compared to most of my friends, I was young when I had kids. To me, it seems like you are closer to the norm now than being considered too old.

OriginalAZ · Post by **OriginalAZ** » Mon Feb 01, 2021 9:51 pm

Chicat wrote: ↑Mon Feb 01, 2021 9:23 pm I was 32 when we had our first. 35 with our second.

We were having too much fun to have kids before that.

Same here 32 for our first, 35 for our second. Then third at 36 and fourth at 37. Weren't trying for that many in a row. Crazy thing is when we were trying for 5 years we had no kids and 2 miscarriages.

scumdevils86 · Post by **scumdevils86** » Mon Feb 01, 2021 9:52 pm

Our best couple friends are having their first kid next month. He's 37 and she's 28.

Chicat · Post by **Chicat** » Tue Feb 02, 2021 5:06 am

OriginalAZ wrote: ↑Mon Feb 01, 2021 9:51 pm
Chicat wrote: ↑Mon Feb 01, 2021 9:23 pm I was 32 when we had our first. 35 with our second.

We were having too much fun to have kids before that.
Same here 32 for our first, 35 for our second. Then third at 36 and fourth at 37. Weren't trying for that many in a row. Crazy thing is when we were trying for 5 years we had no kids and 2 miscarriages.

We weren’t trying at all. In fact, year after year we would say, “Ok, let’s have one more blowout summer in the city and then we’ll start to try for kids.” But every summer was so fun that in the fall and winter we’d say the same thing about the NEXT summer. Just one more...

But as Dr. Ian Malcolm said in Jurassic Park, life uh... finds a way. Good thing too because one more blowout summer in Chicago and I might have had liver failure.

Both of my kids were unplanned. And both times we felt wholly unprepared. With the first one we still rented in Chicago and ended up buying a house in the exurbs and moving all in the 9th month of the wife’s pregnancy. Just a teensy bit stressful.

Merkin · Post by **Merkin** » Tue Feb 02, 2021 8:27 am

I was 28 (wife 27) for our first one. And back then, I thought we were later starters. I didn't even start college until I was 23 due to being the USAF.

My baby girl is 27, and has her 2 boys. Both she and her husband wanted boys so they are done. My son in law has several sisters so knows how much trouble they are.

Of the 6 kids in my immediate family, we have 14 children between us. So in affect, replacements for the 12 parents.

Now of those 14 grandchildren (most still in Tucson), the youngest being 26, they have a combined 7 kids between them.

My mom's family is Irish Catholic, and had 13 kids that lived. Huge extended family near Columbus OH.

My dad's family is from Indytucky, so they also have a lot more great grand children than my dad does.

Alieberman · Post by **Alieberman** » Tue Feb 02, 2021 10:26 am

I was 31 and 33

For our first we decided we weren't going to "try" to have a kid. We were just going to pull the goalie and see what happens. My wife is Irish / Catholic and the youngest of 12..... she was pregnant within a month.

For our 2nd, one day we had a conversation that we wanted to wait 1 more YEAR until we had another kid. 1 WEEK after that conversation we found out she was pregnant with #2.

scumdevils86 · Post by **scumdevils86** » Tue Feb 02, 2021 10:33 am

Yea well we didn't really try either. Our original plan was to start trying around our 5th anniversary this coming May. When we moved in August she forgot to update the address for her birth control delivery. So come the beginning of October she was out and had to miss a week of pills but (I thought!) we were careful. Apparently after taking birth control religiously every day for 6.5 years can be foiled by just one slightly off week!

Merkin · Post by **Merkin** » Tue Feb 02, 2021 10:35 am

Alieberman wrote: ↑Tue Feb 02, 2021 10:26 am My wife is Irish / Catholic and the youngest of 12..... she was pregnant within a month.

My wife is Irish Catholic too, and took us a month each time for all 3 kids.

I am sure we all know people who would make great parents, but are unable to have children.

One of my nieces, just turned 40 and only has one child, and she has been trying for years spending thousands of dollars trying to get pregnant again, even having her uterus scraped. Their one son too was an extreme preemie, and thankfully is now doing well, but will always be small and hopefully not sickly.

Another niece, had a condition where her eggs don't drop so she has them all. Of course they go stale. Think she is about 30, and was just married last year. They are accepting that they may never have kids. She is in Bangkok now, working at the BASIS school there after teaching in the Tucson BASIS school.

So we are very thankful for the 3 kids we have, along with the 2 grandkids.

azgreg · Post by **azgreg** » Tue Feb 02, 2021 11:00 am

I had my first kid at (. Fucking slackers.

BearDown89 · Post by **BearDown89** » Tue Feb 02, 2021 3:56 pm

Congrats man. Piece of cake. Two girls, 28 and 21. Be a good dude and she will be a good girl. Shoot straight, be open and honest, respect her mom, and she will grow up with all the confidence she needs to handle herself. That's not to say, however, that you won't worry about her forever! It's part of the gig.

Same goes for Uncle Hater, be a good backup for them all.

Chicat · Post by **Chicat** » Thu Feb 04, 2021 1:58 pm

I got an email today from my 11-year-old's gym teacher about how he had to throw him out of class today.

Oh the joys of parenting never cease.

Merkin · Post by **Merkin** » Thu Feb 04, 2021 2:17 pm

Chicat wrote: ↑Thu Feb 04, 2021 1:58 pm I got an email today from my 11-year-old's gym teacher about how he had to throw him out of class today.

Oh the joys of parenting never cease.

Depantsing the class nerd?

Chicat · Post by **Chicat** » Thu Feb 04, 2021 2:45 pm

Merkin wrote: ↑Thu Feb 04, 2021 2:17 pm
Chicat wrote: ↑Thu Feb 04, 2021 1:58 pm I got an email today from my 11-year-old's gym teacher about how he had to throw him out of class today.

Oh the joys of parenting never cease.
Depantsing the class nerd?

Basically he loudly trashed a game the gym teacher made up as "stupid" and then after being told to sit on the sideline he loudly made fun of the teacher for not being able to control the class. Real psychopathic bullshit that makes me want to pop him one right in the mouth for having no respect for adults.

catgrad97 · Post by **catgrad97** » Thu Feb 04, 2021 2:54 pm

Chicat wrote: ↑Thu Feb 04, 2021 2:45 pm
Merkin wrote: ↑Thu Feb 04, 2021 2:17 pm
Chicat wrote: ↑Thu Feb 04, 2021 1:58 pm I got an email today from my 11-year-old's gym teacher about how he had to throw him out of class today.

Oh the joys of parenting never cease.
Depantsing the class nerd?
Basically he loudly trashed a game the gym teacher made up as "stupid" and then after being told to sit on the sideline he loudly made fun of the teacher for not being able to control the class. Real psychopathic bullshit that makes me want to pop him one right in the mouth for having no respect for adults.

So, just another typical Thursday in my classroom since 2001.

(Only with parental support, instead of being blamed. Interesting.)

scumdevils86 · Post by **scumdevils86** » Thu Feb 04, 2021 2:55 pm

But is the gym teacher stupid and bad at what he does? Lol. Obviously you don't get to say things like that to an adult when you're 11. But was he right at least?

Chicat · Post by **Chicat** » Thu Feb 04, 2021 3:14 pm

Nah, he wasn't right. He was just being a little asshole.

azgreg · Post by **azgreg** » Thu Feb 04, 2021 3:25 pm

Chicat wrote: ↑Thu Feb 04, 2021 3:14 pm Nah, he wasn't right. He was just being a little asshole.

Apple doesn't fall far from the tree.

Alieberman · Post by **Alieberman** » Thu Feb 04, 2021 3:36 pm

Chicat wrote: ↑Thu Feb 04, 2021 3:14 pm Nah, he wasn't right. He was just being a little asshole.

They are assholes and then 20 minutes later they are perfect kids. Except after they become teenagers.... then they are assholes 75% of the time

Welcome to parenthood.

scumdevils86 · Post by **scumdevils86** » Thu Feb 04, 2021 3:39 pm

Is it at all helpful to think of times when you were an asshole as a kid or teenager?

Alieberman · Post by **Alieberman** » Thu Feb 04, 2021 3:46 pm

scumdevils86 wrote: ↑Thu Feb 04, 2021 3:39 pm Is it at all helpful to think of times when you were an asshole as a kid or teenager?

When I was an asshole kid I had a legitimate reason, the kids these days.....

Chicat · Post by **Chicat** » Thu Feb 04, 2021 3:47 pm

azgreg wrote: ↑Thu Feb 04, 2021 3:25 pm
Chicat wrote: ↑Thu Feb 04, 2021 3:14 pm Nah, he wasn't right. He was just being a little asshole.
Apple doesn't fall far from the tree.

Yeah, his mom is an asshole too.

azgreg · Post by **azgreg** » Thu Feb 04, 2021 3:53 pm

Chicat wrote: ↑Thu Feb 04, 2021 3:47 pm
azgreg wrote: ↑Thu Feb 04, 2021 3:25 pm
Chicat wrote: ↑Thu Feb 04, 2021 3:14 pm Nah, he wasn't right. He was just being a little asshole.
Apple doesn't fall far from the tree.
Yeah, his mom is an asshole too.

I always considered the saying "opposites attract" bullshit.

ASUHATER! · Post by **ASUHATER!** » Thu Feb 04, 2021 3:54 pm

Alieberman wrote: ↑Thu Feb 04, 2021 3:46 pm
scumdevils86 wrote: ↑Thu Feb 04, 2021 3:39 pm Is it at all helpful to think of times when you were an asshole as a kid or teenager?
When I was an asshole kid I had a legitimate reason, the kids these days.....

Uh huh right. We were all kinda assholes

Frybry02 · Post by **Frybry02** » Fri Apr 30, 2021 5:06 pm

So my 3.5 year old son stuck a Lego up his nose today. It is lodged pretty damn good and he is currently at the ER. the joys of parenting

84Cat · Post by **84Cat** » Fri Apr 30, 2021 5:08 pm

Awesome! Hope you get it out without too much fuss!

Chicat · Post by **Chicat** » Fri Apr 30, 2021 5:18 pm

6,000 years ago Drak probably had to take Drak Jr. to the Shaman because Drak Jr. stuck a sabertooth tiger claw up his nose.

It’s a tale as old as time...

Frybry02 · Post by **Frybry02** » Fri Apr 30, 2021 5:20 pm

84Cat wrote: ↑Fri Apr 30, 2021 5:08 pm Awesome! Hope you get it out without too much fuss!

Yeah took 5 seconds once they used the super sucker machine. I know legos are expensive but that is one fucking expensive lego.

Alieberman · Post by **Alieberman** » Fri Apr 30, 2021 5:56 pm

Frybry02 wrote: ↑Fri Apr 30, 2021 5:06 pm So my 3.5 year old son stuck a Lego up his nose today. It is lodged pretty damn good and he is currently at the ER. the joys of parenting

I think my kids are the only kids I know who haven't had to go to the ER to get something out of their nose that they lodged up there.

I'm not bragging.... well... yes I am....

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