Marriage Issues Thread

Longhorned · Post by **Longhorned** » Sat Nov 22, 2014 8:42 am

I want a neon cactus and I want it against the front window in our living room. Is this as wrong as my wife says it is?

KaibabKat · Post by **KaibabKat** » Sat Nov 22, 2014 8:53 am

Could be if it is a mature barrel cactus, or an immature saguaro. Sort of like a neon "Rooms" sign in Kellogg, Idaho.

ghostwhitehorse · Post by **ghostwhitehorse** » Sat Nov 22, 2014 8:57 am

Longhorned wrote:I want a neon cactus and I want it against the front window in our living room. Is this as wrong as my wife says it is?

Does it look like this:

Or this:

Longhorned · Post by **Longhorned** » Sat Nov 22, 2014 9:49 am

More like this

http://www.jantecneon.com/NS-122.html?g ... oC8NXw_wcB

TFCATFAN · Post by **TFCATFAN** » Sat Nov 22, 2014 3:18 pm

Just tell her it will be like a Beacon or lighthouse during a snow storm.

Alieberman · Post by **Alieberman** » Sat Nov 22, 2014 5:49 pm

I don't know about the neon cactus, but my wife just asked me if both Anu and Solomon got hurt.

How do I respond?

UAEebs86 · Post by **UAEebs86** » Sat Nov 22, 2014 5:51 pm

Longhorned wrote:I want a neon cactus and I want it against the front window in our living room. Is this as wrong as my wife says it is?

Is it a major award? Is it marked fra-GEE-leh? (You know, in Italian?)

Chicat · Post by **Chicat** » Sat Nov 22, 2014 6:07 pm

Alieberman wrote:I don't know about the neon cactus, but my wife just asked me if both Anu and Solomon got hurt.

How do I respond?

Divorce

gumby · Post by **gumby** » Sat Nov 22, 2014 7:50 pm

It's not worth divorce, but you should definitely withhold sex. Or would that be redundant?

cat77 · Post by **cat77** » Tue Nov 25, 2014 8:08 pm

I miss being married.

Chicat · Post by **Chicat** » Tue Nov 25, 2014 8:47 pm

cat77 wrote:I miss being married.

Too much money in your pocket, time on your hands, and self-confidence in your heart?

UAEebs86 · Post by **UAEebs86** » Tue Nov 25, 2014 8:49 pm

Chicat wrote:
cat77 wrote:I miss being married.
Too much money in your pocket, time on your hands, and self-confidence in your heart?

Longhorned · Post by **Longhorned** » Tue Nov 25, 2014 8:50 pm

cat77 wrote:I miss being married.

Being married is awesome. I love the part where there's ballet tickets on game nights, and where I get to fix clogged drains before I can go have a beer on the deck.

scumdevils86 · Post by **scumdevils86** » Tue Nov 25, 2014 9:07 pm

Longhorned wrote:
cat77 wrote:I miss being married.
Being married is awesome. I love the part where there's ballet tickets on game nights, and where I get to fix clogged drains before I can go have a beer on the deck.

I missed most of the game tonight helping the gf stain wood and put together some crafty project for outdoor furniture.

catgrad97 · Post by **catgrad97** » Tue Nov 25, 2014 9:16 pm

I love how my wife can openly talk about how much she hates football as a stupid sport during the game, but if I open my mouth about the vacuous popularity contest that is "Dancing With the Stars" I'm some kind of monster.

I hope I'm just tired and exaggerating on that point. I would like to have a couple straight nights of uninterrupted sleep in a bed this holiday weekend.

Alieberman · Post by **Alieberman** » Tue Nov 25, 2014 9:41 pm

Can't wait to climb into bed with my wife tonight and not have sex

Chicat · Post by **Chicat** » Tue Nov 25, 2014 10:14 pm

Alieberman wrote:Can't wait to climb into bed with my wife tonight and not have sex

I'm planning on oral sex.

I'm going to ask, she's going to say no.

UAEebs86 · Post by **UAEebs86** » Tue Nov 25, 2014 10:20 pm

The Three Stages of Married Sex

Stage one: All over sex...... Anywhere, Anytime... As soon as you lock eyes, you engage in passionate love.

Stage two: Bedroom sex.....After a few years, sex is delegated to the bedroom. Once or twice a week...

Stage three: Hallway sex......... After many years of marriage....You pass each other in the hallway and say "F*ck you"!

scumdevils86 · Post by **scumdevils86** » Tue Nov 25, 2014 10:44 pm

You guys must've had an inclination that your wives wouldn't put out after the I dos

Olsondogg · Post by **Olsondogg** » Tue Nov 25, 2014 10:58 pm

My favorite part of my marriage right now is the television watching...

During the Arizona game: "Oh the game is on, can't you just pause it for a second so we can talk?"

After the Arizona game: "Oh another game is on? Can't we watch something else that we both want to watch" --(which for you single guys is code for "Let's watch what I want to watch")

Alieberman · Post by **Alieberman** » Wed Nov 26, 2014 6:56 am

Chicat wrote:
Alieberman wrote:Can't wait to climb into bed with my wife tonight and not have sex
I'm planning on oral sex.

I'm going to ask, she's going to say no.

You still ask?

I don't waste my breath. Although it is usually my birthday present from my wife and my birthday is in December! The countdown has begun!

Olsondogg · Post by **Olsondogg** » Wed Nov 26, 2014 8:00 am

Alieberman wrote:
Chicat wrote:
Alieberman wrote:Can't wait to climb into bed with my wife tonight and not have sex
I'm planning on oral sex.

I'm going to ask, she's going to say no.
You still ask?

I don't waste my breath. Although it is usually my birthday present from my wife and my birthday is in December! The countdown has begun!

Joking a couple of weeks ago, I mentioned that it hasn't happened in forever for me...she remembered the exact time and place...3.5 years ago...

Longhorned · Post by **Longhorned** » Wed Nov 26, 2014 12:09 pm

Talking about asking.... Apparently three games in three days is too much to ask.

Salty · Post by **Salty** » Wed Nov 26, 2014 12:10 pm

I love being single

Olsondogg · Post by **Olsondogg** » Wed Nov 26, 2014 12:13 pm

Glad you love it Salty...sounds like it could be that way for a loooooooong time for you...

Chicat · Post by **Chicat** » Wed Nov 26, 2014 12:26 pm

Salty wrote:I love being single

I hope you don't die a virgin.

scumdevils86 · Post by **scumdevils86** » Wed Nov 26, 2014 12:29 pm

Salty wrote:I love being single

lol like you have a choice in that matter...

Daryl Zero · Post by **Daryl Zero** » Wed Nov 26, 2014 12:42 pm

Chicat wrote:
Salty wrote:I love being single
I hope you don't die a virgin.

As long as there are DVDs, there's a risk.

Salty · Post by **Salty** » Wed Nov 26, 2014 1:31 pm

Lot of bitter, neutered men in this thread.

Olsondogg · Post by **Olsondogg** » Wed Nov 26, 2014 1:32 pm

Married and bored...or single and looooooooooooonley.

Salty · Post by **Salty** » Wed Nov 26, 2014 1:38 pm

Olsondogg wrote:Married and bored...or single and looooooooooooonley.

Lonely?

Download Tinder and see how long it takes for you to get a girl to meet up with you. It's not possible for people to be lonely anymore.

scumdevils86 · Post by **scumdevils86** » Wed Nov 26, 2014 1:40 pm

Sounds really exciting saltsters

UAEebs86 · Post by **UAEebs86** » Wed Nov 26, 2014 1:45 pm

Salty wrote:
Olsondogg wrote:Married and bored...or single and looooooooooooonley.
Lonely?

Download Tinder and see how long it takes for you to get a girl to meet up with you. It's not possible for people to be lonely anymore.

And it's part of the guy code that the single guys detail their escapades so that the married guys can live vicariously through them. You've really been slacking lately - pick it up Salty.

Olsondogg · Post by **Olsondogg** » Wed Nov 26, 2014 1:47 pm

Salty · Post by **Salty** » Wed Nov 26, 2014 1:48 pm

UAEebs86 wrote:
Salty wrote:
Olsondogg wrote:Married and bored...or single and looooooooooooonley.
Lonely?

Download Tinder and see how long it takes for you to get a girl to meet up with you. It's not possible for people to be lonely anymore.
And it's part of the guy code that the single guys detail their escapades so that the married guys can live vicariously through them. You've really been slacking lately - pick it up Salty.

Friday night was a wild one.

CalStateTempe · Post by **CalStateTempe** » Wed Nov 26, 2014 1:50 pm

Spoken like a true 40K millionaire, Saltydog.

I'd rather be with my bomb ass wife than slumming it with some whore off the street. Certainly not boring and way happier than when I was single. But thats my preference.

Prostitutes have more self-respect than a tinderrella.

scumdevils86 · Post by **scumdevils86** » Wed Nov 26, 2014 1:51 pm

CalStateTempe wrote:Spoken like a true 40K millionaire, Saltydog.

I'd rather be with my bomb ass wife than slumming it with some whore off the street. Certainly not boring and way happier than when I was single. But thats my preference.

Prostitutes have more self-respect than a tinderrella.

here here. I'm not married but I've been with my gf for almost a year now and I couldn't be happier. She is awesome and it is so much better than when I was single post busty.

ASUCatFan · Post by **ASUCatFan** » Wed Nov 26, 2014 6:21 pm

Man, I don't miss being married. I must have a better memory than cat77.

Merkin · Post by **Merkin** » Wed Nov 26, 2014 6:25 pm

Salty wrote:
UAEebs86 wrote:
Salty wrote:
Olsondogg wrote:Married and bored...or single and looooooooooooonley.
Lonely?

Download Tinder and see how long it takes for you to get a girl to meet up with you. It's not possible for people to be lonely anymore.
And it's part of the guy code that the single guys detail their escapades so that the married guys can live vicariously through them. You've really been slacking lately - pick it up Salty.
Friday night was a wild one.

You let her play with your guns?

You need to teach her to keep her finger off that trigger, period.

Salty · Post by **Salty** » Wed Nov 26, 2014 7:42 pm

Hubba hubba!

scumdevils86 · Post by **scumdevils86** » Wed Nov 26, 2014 8:11 pm

ASUCatFan wrote:Man, I don't miss being married. I must have a better memory than cat77.

Depends on if your experience with marriage is like yours or someone else I guess! I don't blame you man

legallykenny · Post by **legallykenny** » Wed Nov 26, 2014 11:08 pm

Olsondogg wrote:Married and bored...or single and looooooooooooonley.

Dating is exhausting more than anything.

ASUHATER! · Post by **ASUHATER!** » Wed Nov 26, 2014 11:20 pm

well single and dating don't mean the same thing

legallykenny · Post by **legallykenny** » Wed Nov 26, 2014 11:33 pm

ASUHATER! wrote:well single and dating don't mean the same thing

Usually single people go on dates. Even Salty dates fatties.

ASUHATER! · Post by **ASUHATER!** » Wed Nov 26, 2014 11:42 pm

All casually dating people are single, not all single people are dating

Salty · Post by **Salty** » Thu Nov 27, 2014 12:01 am

legallykenny wrote:
ASUHATER! wrote:well single and dating don't mean the same thing
Usually single people go on dates. Even Salty dates fatties.

Fat girls need love to!

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