Work Status Update

Longhorned · Post by **Longhorned** » Fri Jan 23, 2015 12:25 pm

What are you doing right now? I'm sincerely interested in seeing if your moment-to-moment activities are as trivial, boring, and questionable as mine.

Right now I'm ranking applications for a grad program, in which I don't have the basic qualifications to rank the applications, let alone understand them. I'm told I need to "try".

Chicat · Post by **Chicat** » Fri Jan 23, 2015 12:27 pm

I'm trying to instruct my new assistant on the nuances of client communication. Basically, how to tell people to fuck their own fucking face with their stupid requests but in a really nice way that makes them feel fulfilled and special.

Longhorned · Post by **Longhorned** » Fri Jan 23, 2015 12:29 pm

Chicat wrote:I'm trying to instruct my new assistant on the nuances of client communication. Basically, how to tell people to fuck their own fucking face with their stupid requests but in a really nice way that makes them feel fulfilled and special.

How about having the new assistant watch episodes featuring Chris (Rob Lowe) from Parks & Recreation?

Chicat · Post by **Chicat** » Fri Jan 23, 2015 12:38 pm

Longhorned wrote:
Chicat wrote:I'm trying to instruct my new assistant on the nuances of client communication. Basically, how to tell people to fuck their own fucking face with their stupid requests but in a really nice way that makes them feel fulfilled and special.
How about having the new assistant watch episodes featuring Chris (Rob Lowe) from Parks & Recreation?

I think she'd get more out of reading Dave Barry. 90% of our communication is via email, so it's all about crafting the perfect response.

And now I'm bugging a client for a signed contract. And at the same time putting together a proposal for a different client. But mostly I'm wasting time posting here while drinking a beer.

ASUHATER! · Post by **ASUHATER!** » Fri Jan 23, 2015 12:43 pm

Working hard on a day off today. Laying on the couch

Alieberman · Post by **Alieberman** » Fri Jan 23, 2015 12:51 pm

I'm basically baby sitting a board of directors meeting, making sure they don't break anything

Longhorned · Post by **Longhorned** » Fri Jan 23, 2015 12:51 pm

I just sent an email where I lied in such a way as to make it obvious that I'm lying, so that the receiver will get the message that I've noted his lie about there being something in this whole thing for me.

Chicat · Post by **Chicat** » Fri Jan 23, 2015 1:02 pm

Alieberman wrote:I'm basically baby sitting a board of directors meeting, making sure they don't break anything

Distract them with shiny things like stacks of gold bars.

Longhorned wrote:I just sent an email where I lied in such a way as to make it obvious that I'm lying, so that the receiver will get the message that I've noted his lie about there being something in this whole thing for me.

Want to be in sales?

JMarkJohns · Post by **JMarkJohns** » Fri Jan 23, 2015 1:07 pm

I don't work Friday's! Well, not at the moment, anyways.

scumdevils86 · Post by **scumdevils86** » Fri Jan 23, 2015 2:01 pm

Well I'm off today, I'm in Texas. But this time yesterday I was devasting our director of sales training and coaching by ripping apart her entire new strategy for 2015 for our 230 front line staff. She's in charge of all sales development yet she has never worked in a front line position in a financial institution. Ever.

Her entire strategy was backwards and didn't make sense.

Merkin · Post by **Merkin** » Fri Jan 23, 2015 2:04 pm

Writing a program that fill find all open proposals that are to be bequests.

Think of your university people in your will, especially with all the past and upcoming budget cuts.

UAEebs86 · Post by **UAEebs86** » Fri Jan 23, 2015 2:43 pm

This is my every other Friday off.

Getting car fixed and laptop shopping for my son for college.

EastCoastCat · Post by **EastCoastCat** » Fri Jan 23, 2015 2:59 pm

I'm trying to replace a Cast Iron (interface) developer who I contracted on my project (in small part because he was a U of A grad).

3 weeks ago he vanished on me and never showed up.

I got Beared Down in a different way...

Chicat · Post by **Chicat** » Fri Jan 23, 2015 3:59 pm

I finished my day by contemplating the fact that my new assistant was much hotter during the interview process than she is now that she's been hired. I feel like I've been bait-and-switched. Oh well, time to continue drinking...

Longhorned · Post by **Longhorned** » Fri Jan 23, 2015 4:06 pm

Chicat wrote:I finished my day by contemplating the fact that my new assistant was much hotter during the interview process than she is now that she's been hired. I feel like I've been bait-and-switched. Oh well, time to continue drinking...

Once they say yes and they're yours, the appeal is gone.

Jefe · Post by **Jefe** » Fri Jan 23, 2015 4:30 pm

Just setup a new flat screen in the office for presenting options to clients. As soon as it was up and running, I visited PAC12 to watch the highlights from last nights win. Now I need to finish up a new computer build that Newegg took forever delivering parts on. Goodbye precious Windows Vista

azgreg · Post by **azgreg** » Fri Jan 23, 2015 6:31 pm

Got off at noon and just got home from the golf course.

Longhorned · Post by **Longhorned** » Fri Jan 23, 2015 6:39 pm

Looks like I picked the wrong day to start a Work Status Update thread. Look like nobody nohow 'round here be working on a Friday.

TFCATFAN · Post by **TFCATFAN** » Fri Jan 23, 2015 11:12 pm

I work from home now. Just finished year end yesterday and I have a couple weeks before things pick up again with contract negotiations, so I'm coasting for a bit.

Got out of bed at 9, worked out, had lunch at a great Mexican resteraunt around noon, drank a couple margaritas and 3 Pacificos and took a three hour nap. Tough day.

CalStateTempe · Post by **CalStateTempe** » Sat Jan 24, 2015 11:42 am

Currently, writing a book chapter and editing the upcoming version of a textbook.

Longhorned · Post by **Longhorned** » Sat Jan 24, 2015 1:11 pm

I just answered five interview questions from a middle school student somewhere in the world who emailed me to complete an assignment that involves interviewing an "expert." Try not to smile at this:

"I was looking up potential candidates for my expert when I found you. There were others, but they weren't experts. I would like to interview you. If you are okay with doing the interview, please respond A.S.A.P. If you would not like to do this interview, feel free to delete this email and I will not email you about this interview again."

You know that the kid found the right man with my answer to his 5th and final question of the interview:

Q: If America fell, what parts of their architecture might future civilizations adapt to their needs?

A: Elevators. Elevators are awesome. You can't have really tall buildings with no way of getting to the top floor.

Alieberman · Post by **Alieberman** » Sat Jan 24, 2015 3:23 pm

Worked a half day in Tucson, now having a drink at the airport bar before my flight to Vegas

Longhorned · Post by **Longhorned** » Mon Jan 26, 2015 11:29 am

Received a request to make a presentation addressing why I have no presence in my institution and what I intend to do about it. Could be a real F U moment.

Merkin · Post by **Merkin** » Mon Jan 26, 2015 11:35 am

Longhorned wrote:Received a request to make a presentation addressing why I have no presence in my institution and what I intend to do about it. Could be a real F U moment.

That actually sounds pretty awful.

My daughter called me Friday morning. Her hubby, in SEAL training, failed his rifle qualification and has to go before a board today to prove he still belongs in SEAL training. He has already passed the physical stuff and hell week, so hopefully they will just put him in the group following his.

Longhorned · Post by **Longhorned** » Mon Jan 26, 2015 11:53 am

Merkin wrote:
Longhorned wrote:Received a request to make a presentation addressing why I have no presence in my institution and what I intend to do about it. Could be a real F U moment.

That actually sounds pretty awful.

My daughter called me Friday morning. Her hubby, in SEAL training, failed his rifle qualification and has to go before a board today to prove he still belongs in SEAL training. He has already passed the physical stuff and hell week, so hopefully they will just put him in the group following his.

Hopefully he'll either convince them of his qualifications, or decide that his "failure" has more to do with his lack of desire to be a SEAL.

In my case, it won't be awful for me. Maybe for the committee, but I intend to be very honest about what I think about their idea of fun.

Salty · Post by **Salty** » Mon Jan 26, 2015 12:18 pm

Longhorned wrote:
Merkin wrote:
Longhorned wrote:Received a request to make a presentation addressing why I have no presence in my institution and what I intend to do about it. Could be a real F U moment.

That actually sounds pretty awful.

My daughter called me Friday morning. Her hubby, in SEAL training, failed his rifle qualification and has to go before a board today to prove he still belongs in SEAL training. He has already passed the physical stuff and hell week, so hopefully they will just put him in the group following his.
Hopefully he'll either convince them of his qualifications, or decide that his "failure" has more to do with his lack of desire to be a SEAL.

In my case, it won't be awful for me. Maybe for the committee, but I intend to be very honest about what I think about their idea of fun.

If you pass Hell Week, your desire to be a SEAL shouldn't be questioned.

Some people simply do not have the physical tools to meet the high demands. I'm sure Merkin's son-in-law will work through this challenge.

CalStateTempe · Post by **CalStateTempe** » Mon Jan 26, 2015 12:23 pm

Academic Administrators are Awesome aren't they LH?

Merkin · Post by **Merkin** » Mon Jan 26, 2015 12:24 pm

Longhorned wrote: In my case, it won't be awful for me. Maybe for the committee, but I intend to be very honest about what I think about their idea of fun.

That should be quite interesting.

Salty wrote:
If you pass Hell Week, your desire to be a SEAL shouldn't be questioned.

Some people simply do not have the physical tools to meet the high demands. I'm sure Merkin's son-in-law will work through this challenge.

True. He just never grew up around guns like I did, and many of his SEAL team members. Just needs to hit the gun range until the next class starts.

They don't even touch a gun into well into their SEAL training. After spending all this money on him I really doubt they are going to drop him and have him scrape rust off old mine sweepers.

Salty · Post by **Salty** » Mon Jan 26, 2015 12:36 pm

Merkin wrote:
Longhorned wrote: In my case, it won't be awful for me. Maybe for the committee, but I intend to be very honest about what I think about their idea of fun.
That should be quite interesting.

Salty wrote:
If you pass Hell Week, your desire to be a SEAL shouldn't be questioned.

Some people simply do not have the physical tools to meet the high demands. I'm sure Merkin's son-in-law will work through this challenge.

True. He just never grew up around guns like I did, and many of his SEAL team members. Just needs to hit the gun range until the next class starts.

They don't even touch a gun into well into their SEAL training. After spending all this money on him I really doubt they are going to drop him and have him scrape rust off old mine sweepers.

If he went straight through boot camp to SEAL training, he never would have gotten any formal rifle training until what he's experienced in SEAL training. If he was in the fleet for, say, a year or two, and depending on his job, he may have gotten some training.

In boot camp, I didn't get any rifle training at all. I never touched a rifle once in or after boot camp. I did shot a shotgun a few times and there was some fairly decent training for the M9, which I had to qualify using. But in the Navy, there's for rifle training at all. So his experience would be very limited. Luckily, the SEAL instructors are very, very good.

Chicat · Post by **Chicat** » Mon Jan 26, 2015 12:50 pm

Merkin wrote:My daughter called me Friday morning. Her hubby, in SEAL training, failed his rifle qualification and has to go before a board today to prove he still belongs in SEAL training. He has already passed the physical stuff and hell week, so hopefully they will just put him in the group following his.

Your daughter is married?!? I swear she was 13 like six seconds ago.

scumdevils86 · Post by **scumdevils86** » Mon Jan 26, 2015 1:05 pm

Chicat wrote:
Merkin wrote:My daughter called me Friday morning. Her hubby, in SEAL training, failed his rifle qualification and has to go before a board today to prove he still belongs in SEAL training. He has already passed the physical stuff and hell week, so hopefully they will just put him in the group following his.
Your daughter is married?!? I swear she was 13 like six seconds ago.

that's what i thought

Longhorned · Post by **Longhorned** » Mon Jan 26, 2015 1:16 pm

... and I thought that six seconds ago she was on a date with an Italian guy who ordered his steak "blue".

Merkin · Post by **Merkin** » Mon Jan 26, 2015 1:55 pm

scumdevils86 wrote:
Chicat wrote:
Merkin wrote:My daughter called me Friday morning. Her hubby, in SEAL training, failed his rifle qualification and has to go before a board today to prove he still belongs in SEAL training. He has already passed the physical stuff and hell week, so hopefully they will just put him in the group following his.
Your daughter is married?!? I swear she was 13 like six seconds ago.
that's what i thought

This is how I see my little girl!

But now...

Guess I need to start up a "post images of your kids" thread again.

Longhorned wrote:... and I thought that six seconds ago she was on a date with an Italian guy who ordered his steak "blue".

Dude headed back to Italy for summer vacation. Not sure if he ever returned or not.

Chicat · Post by **Chicat** » Mon Jan 26, 2015 1:57 pm

Wow...

Don't think of it as losing a daughter. Think of it as gaining a government-trained assassin.

Merkin · Post by **Merkin** » Mon Jan 26, 2015 2:03 pm

Chicat wrote:Wow...

Don't think of it as losing a daughter. Think of it as gaining a government-trained assassin.

Haha, that's what my dad says. I have a nephew who is in special forces in the USAF as a parajumper. My dad says that grandson is trained to rescue, his grandson-in-law is trained to kill.

CalStateTempe · Post by **CalStateTempe** » Mon Jan 26, 2015 2:18 pm

Nice photos merk. Belated congrats dad!

Longhorned · Post by **Longhorned** » Mon Jan 26, 2015 2:28 pm

Congratulations, D!

Would it have killed you to invite us to your daughter's wedding?

Wait a minute. Yes. Yes it would have. I'm pretty sure you'd be dead of shame.

CatsbyAZ · Post by **CatsbyAZ** » Mon Jan 26, 2015 2:53 pm

Longhorned wrote:What are you doing right now?

Working late on the stormy East Coast. Staring at a screen, scrolling through and editing reams of excel sheets. Getting a lot done. Because most of management "worked from home," due to the snowstorm, pretty much anyone else who came into the office went home early for the same reason. Jazz music.

scumdevils86 · Post by **scumdevils86** » Mon Jan 26, 2015 3:07 pm

auditing a stack of about 50 files that no one at this place bothered to deal with in a timely fashion...but that's what I get paid for. to clean up after other people and their messes (no I'm not a janitor salty, but that would be a good fit for you).

Merkin · Post by **Merkin** » Mon Jan 26, 2015 3:09 pm

Pull all planned gifts for FY 2014-15 (July 1, 2014 - current date). include gifts with the following gift codes: Annuity Trust, Realized Bequest, Externally Managed Funds, Externally Managed Funds, Gift Annuity, Life Estate, Lead Trust, Other Planned Gift - IRA, Pooled Income, Remainder Trust, Trust, and Unitrust.

Longhorned wrote:Congratulations, D!

Would it have killed you to invite us to your daughter's wedding?

Wait a minute. Yes. Yes it would have. I'm pretty sure you'd be dead of shame.

Yes, you are all invited. The real ceremony will be 12/27/15 so SAVE THE DATE!

She had a very small civil wedding as many military do to get onto base housing. They moved to the slums of Chula Vista and now live on Coronado just steps from the beach.

Chicat · Post by **Chicat** » Mon Jan 26, 2015 3:28 pm

Right now I'm just working on my TPS reports. Debating whether to include a cover page or not.

Thanks for the invite Merk! Can Longhorned and I crash at the Coronado pad?

Merkin · Post by **Merkin** » Mon Jan 26, 2015 3:38 pm

Chicat wrote:Right now I'm just working on my TPS reports. Debating whether to include a cover page or not.

Thanks for the invite Merk! Can Longhorned and I crash at the Coronado pad?

Plenty of room, they have a spare bedroom.

catgrad97 · Post by **catgrad97** » Tue Jan 27, 2015 2:16 am

I'll be the first one to officially RSVP for Merkin's daughter's wedding. Sounds like a great excuse to go to San Diego.

As for me, my hard work writing 8 stories a week plus a monthly has ironed out most of my communication issues with my atheistic boss whose unfortunate influence some of you felt in the "organized religion" thread a few months back.

He got away from his old feature writer who got fired a few months back for p*ssing off some local school board members and has grown up appreciably. Still won't let me shoot any photos--don't know what I'm going to do if either of our photographers ever leave the newspaper--but while the money is very modest, I'm still doing what I want to do and nothing more.

Of course, speaking of photos, I still have an athletic director to work around because he's an asshole who thinks we shouldn't have the right to shoot with flash in "his" gym during games, but apparently even AD's principal thinks that of him, so I have that going for me, which is nice.

In my side job with the Arizona Interscholastic Association, I just recently covered for the P.A. announcer for the Super Bowl and the Cardinals on an all-day gig as the voice of the state cheerleading championship in Prescott.

Ugh, cheerleaders...whenever you think it would be great to have a hot wife, just spend all day at a cheerleading tournament sometime and deal with their stuck-up attitudes. You'll be running like hell by lunch.

Still, it was worth it to make the connection with the voice of the Super Bowl--a good guy I think who's going to open some more doors on state events back down in the Phoenix area. In a year in which a lot of reports have people troubled about where society is headed, I can say I am finally happy where I'm at.

I just wish Longhorned was, as a bad political stink is infiltrating his corner of academia. Certainly not his fault, but it certainly doesn't help to make our nation's professorial product the elite of the elite it once was.

Longhorned · Post by **Longhorned** » Tue Jan 27, 2015 11:36 am

Presently hiding in my office and holding my pee to limit the hallway chats that lead to conversations where I end up offending colleagues.

CalStateTempe · Post by **CalStateTempe** » Tue Jan 27, 2015 11:40 am

Trying to pay for my housing for my 2mo DC job, but the institutional limit is 1500 for one time charges.

I can pay but won't be reimbursed till several weeks after the job ends in May. I'm gone in June.

Won't accept my parents credit card on the receipt because they arnt employees of the institution.

My boss can request a one time increase in the amount for a one time charge for the department but that has to go to the institutional oversight committee, and will take weeks.

Meanwhile having deal with this is sucking time away for a book chapter I was asked to write. And the deadline is quickly nearing. Now off to clinic!

Yay academia!

Longhorned · Post by **Longhorned** » Tue Jan 27, 2015 12:34 pm

But that's how we spend our time. Book chapters aren't for waking hours. Maybe we can dream those book chapters.

Currently receiving orders from a former TA to provide a letter of recommendation. No please, no thank you, No information or any other help forthcoming so that I can craft an effective letter and send it to the right place by the right deadline. When I asked, he told me told me that if I'm not going to do this, then I should just tell him.

Chicat · Post by **Chicat** » Tue Jan 27, 2015 1:04 pm

Had a New Business one-on-one phone call with my CEO and EVP this morning where I babbled for 10 straight minutes so that they couldn't get a word in edgewise and had to move on to their next call without being able to ask me any questions about the bullshit I was spinning. Sooooooo....... Mission Accomplished!

Honestly thought about taking the rest of the day off but then I realized that if they were actually listening to me then I have a shitload of new business I just promised to bring in so I better get the fuck to work. FML

scumdevils86 · Post by **scumdevils86** » Tue Jan 27, 2015 1:24 pm

Chicat wrote:Had a New Business one-on-one phone call with my CEO and EVP this morning where I babbled for 10 straight minutes so that they couldn't get a word in edgewise and had to move on to their next call without being able to ask me any questions about the bullshit I was spinning. Sooooooo....... Mission Accomplished!

Honestly thought about taking the rest of the day off but then I realized that if they were actually listening to me then I have a shitload of new business I just promised to bring in so I better get the fuck to work. FML

ahh the things we do for money and security in this country.

Puerco · Post by **Puerco** » Wed Jan 28, 2015 3:34 am

Merkin wrote:Pull all planned gifts for FY 2014-15 (July 1, 2014 - current date). include gifts with the following gift codes: Annuity Trust, Realized Bequest, Externally Managed Funds, Externally Managed Funds, Gift Annuity, Life Estate, Lead Trust, Other Planned Gift - IRA, Pooled Income, Remainder Trust, Trust, and Unitrust.

Longhorned wrote:Congratulations, D!

Would it have killed you to invite us to your daughter's wedding?

Wait a minute. Yes. Yes it would have. I'm pretty sure you'd be dead of shame.
Yes, you are all invited. The real ceremony will be 12/27/15 so SAVE THE DATE!

She had a very small civil wedding as many military do to get onto base housing. They moved to the slums of Chula Vista and now live on Coronado just steps from the beach.

Oh, man. That's a nice base. Stayed in their beachfront hotel for a few nights way back when... Hopefully they get to stay in Coronado a bit longer.

Longhorned · Post by **Longhorned** » Wed Jan 28, 2015 11:18 am

Contemplating the ritualistic importance of ejaculation in ancient Egypt. Also part of the job.

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