Bear Down Wildcats

Is that what this is? Have you had one? Plan on having one?

I've heard its worse than just starting a new thread.

What's the definition of mid-life?

I think I blew right by mine. No sports car or second wife. Thanks to lucky genetics I haven't needed to color my hair or visit the Hair Club for Men.

Too late now I suppose. Maybe I'll have a late-life crisis to make up for it at some point.

I don't know, I'm 46, so past mid-life by some accounts. Maybe just a crisis of too much fucking Fighting Illini takes its toll.

If you go purely on life expectancy then your mid life crisis should happen somewhere between age 25-50

ASUHATER! wrote:If you go purely on life expectancy then your mid life crisis should happen somewhere between age 25-50

I've had more than one mid-life crisis since I was 25, so maybe I'll die multiple times.

I had mine already.

Had one, but it was imposed. Taught me not to sweat the small stuff, except for recruiting.

I'm planning a mid-death crisis.

I had my mid life crises when I was 18.

I got mine out of the way from 1969 through 1975...

... rocking chair memories, now!

I think I’m having mine.

Nothing crazy, family’s good, jobs good, just shifting lately, the way I think about a ton of things, based on some experiences the last 3-6mo

It’s all good. And interesting…and good.

I’ve come to think of the midlife crisis as the rocky process of realizing that life is half over. God willing, about half over. Maybe it takes turning forty to internalize this? An age when even the most generous self-assessment must admit that youth is gone and there’s more of the past to dwell in than the future. Almost nothing achieved in your twenties is impressive to achieve past your thirties. Owning a house at twenty-five? Impressive! By forty who cares—it’s dismissively expected. Graduating law school at 25? By forty there’s no such thing as being “smart for your age” or “ahead of the game.” You might instead be fortunate to hear: “you look good for your age.” In what context would forty be considered “young?” A judge? Billionaire? Osteoporosis?

My counterculture lifestyle in my 20's and halfway through my 30's rendered the idea of a midlife crisis obsolete...

Sex, drugs, rock-and-roll, advanced degrees, professional career and great friendships were self-rewarding enough, that measuring oneself against others' standards, or societal mores never occurred to me.

And, IMNSHO, 40 was hardly a big deal when I crossed that threshold. Honest to God, the only decade threshold that was disorienting for me was 70, as I had never even imagined that one beforehand, and only then felt like a stranger-in-a-strange land...

Part of realizing life is half over (or practically half over) is letting go of longstanding expectations that didn’t result as hoped by the time you turn thirty or forty. Marriage, children, career, home ownership, strong health, stable finances, capitalized opportunities - however you expected life to work out. And looking ahead to hopefully still achieve those missing expectations into your forties is not only a lot more unlikely but looking back at your twenties and thirties in light of not meeting those expectations, those adult decades can retroactively feel like an unaccomplished life. It’s all part of the scaling back individuals must internally work out. It’s never an immediate reset; it can take several years to quietly acclimate yourself to a manageable disappointment that at times, before adjusting, can flare into bouts of painful regret and sadness. As warned, it’s a rocky process.

Managing attachment is tricky. Attachment forms engagement and engagement founds meaning. Desire seems to initiate the process, but wanting is free and delivery is dear, and that brings us back to attachment and the potential for loss.

I think my mid-life crisis is realizing I’m a super boring person. I don’t want a sports car or a motorcycle or to fuck some young bimbo.

Shouldn’t I be freaking out about my impending demise and how I’ll never again touch a firm young titty that I haven’t given a stripper a 20 for?

I've thought about this a lot and while there are a few things I wish I could of done differently when I was younger I also think about the amazing things I've done in my life:
- met a President
- beat Johnny Carson in tennis
- ran with the Bulls in Pamplona Spain
- backpacked around Europe
- attended the best school for me - UofA! and met lifelong friends (and stole a goal post that's still on 2nd & Cherry)
- shagged balls for Kareem while he was practicing his skyhook
- lived in NYC as a bachelor for 10 years (need another page for THOSE stories)
- got married to someone who would put up with my shit
- have 2 great kids
- had 2 great parents
- saved a guy's life who was choking in a restaurant

I could go on, but my point being if I got hit by a truck today (or snow plow considering the storm we had) it really hasn't been that bad a life and I really don't have that many regrets.

ECC has been a lucky man all things considered...

One thing I’m enjoying about aging into the midlife is nobody bothers trying to recruit me into their cults or scams anymore. Looking back on my twenties I was too often approached like a 'live one' by fake pastors promoting their controlling, money- and image-obsessed cults. Or by conmen for their multilevel marketing or timeshare schemes. All trying to convince me to do my part for their self-serving worlds. Fortunately I’ve always been cynical enough to buy myself enough time to eventually see through these rip-offs before lasting damage was done. But now, looking an unimpressionable, boring late-30s, I’m grateful to report that I’m no longer even approached. I'm no longer recruited.

The word recruit is apt because this is how author Saul Bellow describes the titular character’s similar realization in the novel The Adventures of Augie March:

“[Humanity] is made up of these inventors or artists, millions and millions of them, each in his own way trying to recruit other people to play a supporting role and sustain him in his make believe…That’s the struggle of humanity, to recruit others to your version of what’s real…I certainly looked like an ideal recruit. But the invented things never became real for me no matter how I urged myself to think they were.”

True anonymity and absolute invisibility comes in your 50s. It can be a hideous liberation.

dovecanyoncat wrote: ↑Mon Oct 07, 2024 8:46 am True anonymity and absolute invisibility comes in your 50s. It can be a hideous liberation.

Yeah, I think after 50 men just become invisible to the opposite sex. Took me a while for my psyche to be at peace with this

I couldn't go very long without sex man. I feel for you CD!

Carcassdragger wrote: ↑Mon Oct 07, 2024 9:44 am

dovecanyoncat wrote: ↑Mon Oct 07, 2024 8:46 am True anonymity and absolute invisibility comes in your 50s. It can be a hideous liberation.

Yeah, I think after 50 men just become invisible to the opposite sex. Took me a while for my psyche to be at peace with this

One of the things I'm struggling with is, I want more action. I'm in good shape for my age and stay pretty clean. I love my wife but she just doesn't want to give it up. I think alot about hanging with an attractive MILF or even older-just casually (I honestly don't know if this is even possible). I'm still behaving appropriately, but the thoughts continue.

Become a silverback!!

Strut your stuff! Come on to every female you encounter! Flash the confidence (and the bucks)!

You'll be widely (and correctly) regarded as a fool, rejected most of the time, but you'll get laid pretty often, too...

Carcassdragger wrote: ↑Mon Oct 07, 2024 9:44 am but the thoughts continue.

Haven't they always?

If women knew what men were thinking they would never stop slapping us. - Dennis Miller

We have simple needs: Honey, be peaceful; show up naked and bring food.

I got the rest covered.

Have you guys ever had the urge to hit the “blow it all up” button?

I’d never do it, but man life has stressful for us with theee young ones and in the prime of my career.

Just wondering if other have wondered…what if?

If I hit the blow it all up button I’m homeless in 3 years and dead in 5. No doubt.

Chicat wrote: ↑Mon Oct 07, 2024 8:43 pm If I hit the blow it all up button I’m homeless in 3 years and dead in 5. No doubt.

Nah, you still have the Yankees to live for.

CalStateTempe wrote: ↑Mon Oct 07, 2024 8:38 pm Have you guys ever had the urge to hit the “blow it all up” button?

I’d never do it, but man life has stressful for us with theee young ones and in the prime of my career.

Just wondering if other have wondered…what if?

Every day CST, Every day.

At this point I am just aiming to soft retirement at 50 and choosing a different more fulfilling career path. My kids will hopefully be mostly self sufficient by then with my youngest entering his third year in college. I have invested wisely and should have the funds where I can work for me more than for the money at that point.