Bear Down Wildcats

BERLIN — If national flags could speak, most of them would have a strong opinion.

The American Stars and Stripes would say something like: “Yeah, folks, I know, some of you think I’m a promise; some believe I’m a broken promise. But what remains is the promise, right?”

Britain’s Union Jack would state: “I am utterly aware of the fact that our once global empire is vanished and gone. Yet I am hip. Use me as your iPhone cover or wear me as a bikini. Cool Britannia is fine with it.”

The German flag would have to think awhile. Then it would propose: “Get me now at your nearest discount supermarket as part of the World Cup fan package, with a six-pack of beer and a Brazilian thunderer whistle for only 6.95 euros!”

That’s the sad reason I would never fly the German flag. It’s not that I’m unpatriotic. It’s that our flag’s branding is so spoiled. Can we have a new one, please?

Next I asked a French friend. He looked at me as he often does when we talk about our countries: as if I had gone mad. He also reminded me of the legendary World Cup in Germany in 2006, the so-called Sommermärchen, when the cities were more or less covered in black-red-gold — and no one took offense.

Again, the details: To make ourselves comfortable with such a display, we Germans had to invent a new term: “party-otismus,” in contrast to, and in parody of, “patriotismus.” So what are we talking about? A flag of revelers, nothing more.

O.K., the French friend conceded, if you want to redesign it, you should do it along the corporate colors that many German banks use for their websites: green and blue, the embodiment of seriousness and reliability. He wasn’t being ironic.

ASUHATER! wrote:Are there colors that represent tidiness, order and precision?