News of the weird

azgreg · Post by **azgreg** » Fri Aug 08, 2014 5:58 am

News of the weird. Post your weird news stories here. I'll start.

Man accused of humping driveway

http://www.click2houston.com/news/man-a ... y/27354222

HOUSTON -
A man has been arrested and accused of humping a driveway.

David Micheal Gray is charged with public lewdness. Court documents state on Tuesday evening a woman pulled into the driveway of her Harris County home when Gray walked up to her and asked her for a lighter.

She told him she didn't have one and he walked away. After entering her house, she told police she saw Gray "thrusting and humping" on the driveway.

Spaceman Spiff · Post by **Spaceman Spiff** » Fri Aug 08, 2014 7:11 am

It's wrong to lay pavement nowadays?

the real dill · Post by **the real dill** » Fri Aug 08, 2014 8:16 am

Tractor dancing dude leaves little to the imagination
August 7, 2014 by wgreenlee

What’s wrong with dancing on a tractor?

Nothing, but problems may arise if you do so while simultaneously driving the tractor on a public street as you are way over the legal limit for booze with your genitals exposed.

That’s pretty much what Elias Velez-Morales, 24, stands accused of during a July 24 incident that happened about 1:40 a.m. in Vero Beach, according to a recently released arrest affidavit.

An Indian River County Sheriff’s investigator went to the 1100 block of 58th Avenue where another investigator said Velez-Morales was driving an International 354 tractor south. Velez-Morales was “dancing” in the seat, and had difficulty driving the farm implement.

Velez-Morales said he’d had three beers, and “appeared to be so intoxicated he was unable to give (his) name and address,” the affidavit states.

His genitals were exposed and he’d urinated on his clothes and himself.

The affidavit did not indicate whether Velez-Morales was performing a specific style of dance, such as ballroom or tap.

Velez-Morales said he’s never had a license.

After performing field sobriety exercises, Velez-Morales, whose address is unknown, was arrested on charges including DUI and no driver’s license.

A breath test measured his blood alcohol content at 0.249 and 0.240. The legal limit is 0.08.

Jefe · Post by **Jefe** » Fri Aug 08, 2014 9:14 am

http://sacramento.cbslocal.com/2013/06/ ... g-vehicle/

Man Arrested For Throwing Spear At Passing Vehicle

SACRAMENTO (CBS13) – A man was arrested Tuesday night for spearing a passing vehicle.
Jeffrey Jones, 56, was standing in the road at Auburn Boulevard and Annadale Lane in Sacramento at 7:38 p.m. when, police say, he threw a spear at the front fender of a vehicle that was driving by, causing it to become lodged in the vehicle.
Jones was located by police and arrested for assault with a deadly weapon.
The spear was booked as evidence.
No injuries were reported.

Spaceman Spiff · Post by **Spaceman Spiff** » Fri Aug 08, 2014 11:18 am

Hippos are taking over Colombia and Pablo Escobar is to blame.

http://www.google.com/url?sa=t&source=w ... 6100,d.cGU

azgreg · Post by **azgreg** » Mon Aug 11, 2014 12:57 pm

Genetic sexual attraction: Husband and wife discover they are brother and sister

http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/worl ... 848576.cms

A Brazilian married couple, who have both searched for their mothers who abandoned them as children, have discovered the two women they were looking for was in-fact the same person while live on air, making them brother and sister.

the real dill · Post by **the real dill** » Thu Aug 14, 2014 7:19 am

azgreg · Post by **azgreg** » Fri Aug 15, 2014 6:25 am

In the Throws of Ecstasy, a Donkey Gets Revenge on an Amorous Arab

http://madworldnews.com/donkey-revenge-amorous-arab/

An irate donkey decided this day was not going to be his day to get sodomized by a Saudi Sheikh man. After being tied to the man’s car in preparation for the dirty deed, the donkey fought back — killing the man, according to Lebanese website Beiruting.

The story that has now circulated all over Middle Eastern news should serve as a warning to men looking for their next thrill for this sick popular practice in the region – donkey’s don’t like it. Reports say the man tied the animal up to his car before removing his pants, then attempted to have sex with the donkey.

At the start of the act, the donkey allegedly proceeded to kick the Sheikh man in the face, followed by three strong kicks to the chest. The man fell to the ground, suffering for some time before dying next to the angry animal, Beiruting reported.

Police arrived at the scene to find the man’s body — sans pants — and were able to determine the series of events through a quick investigation of the premises.

Although it’s impossible to confirm every dirty detail of this story which certainly sounds way out there, it’s picking up a lot of steam online. Unfortunately, animal sodomy is all too common, making the legitimacy of this story quite likely.

Chicat · Post by **Chicat** » Mon Aug 18, 2014 12:53 pm

Fecal transplants are a thing.

http://www.motherjones.com/environment/ ... picks=true

Apparently inserting someone else's poop into your poop chute can cure a whole host of ailments.

And all this time Percy has been ingesting the wrong human waste...

Bruins01 · Post by **Bruins01** » Mon Aug 18, 2014 3:31 pm

Chicat wrote:Fecal transplants are a thing.

http://www.motherjones.com/environment/ ... picks=true

Apparently inserting someone else's poop into your poop chute can cure a whole host of ailments.

And all this time Percy has been ingesting the wrong human waste...

Believe it or not... many of these transplants are administered orally. Not kidding.

azcat49 · Post by **azcat49** » Mon Aug 18, 2014 3:50 pm

I have a client who works on the fecal transplant team at the Mayo clinic in Scottsdale. It saves lives according to her

CalStateTempe · Post by **CalStateTempe** » Mon Aug 18, 2014 4:06 pm

Grind it up and encapsulate it in a pill.

Does wonders for people with recurrent c-difficle.

the real dill · Post by **the real dill** » Mon Aug 25, 2014 8:33 am

azgreg · Post by **azgreg** » Wed Sep 03, 2014 7:27 am

Can't make this shit up.

Inmate Dies After Eating Fellow Inmate's Underwear, Which Was Soaked in Methadone

http://www.complex.com/pop-culture/2014 ... -underwear

Authorities are investigating an inmate at a Kentucky jail on murder charges following a fellow inmate's death after he allegedly consumed underwear soaked in methadone.

On Aug. 20, Corey McQueary, 33, was found in his cell at the Jessamine County Detention Center. He explained that he was sick, but declined to tell deputies what he had eaten. The next morning, McQueary died at an ambulatory care center.

During an investigation into his death, jail officials learned that he had eaten pieces of Michael Jones' underwear that had been doused with liquid methadone. Jones, 55, left the facility to attend a funeral, and wore them upon his return, ripping them into pieces and sharing them with other prisoners.

Jones has since been charged with murder.

ghostwhitehorse · Post by **ghostwhitehorse** » Wed Sep 03, 2014 8:41 am

http://www.pet360.com/dog/lifestyle/dog ... xtcid=OUTB

A “pawsitively” bad dog in Clinton, S.C. was apprehended last week after he was caught on security camera taking off with goods from a Dollar General.

The crime spree began when Cato the Husky broke away from his leash and headed straight for the store.

According to Fox Carolina, the surveillance cameras showed Cato walking up to the doors at approximately 9:38 a.m., however, the doors closed before he could make his way in. Finally, he was able to sneak in with customers where he proceeded to rob the store of pigs ears, beef bones, dog food, and treats.

the real dill · Post by **the real dill** » Thu Sep 04, 2014 9:20 am

Man Jerked Off Into Coworker's Coffee, Hoping She Would Notice Him

A Minnesota hardware store employee has been arrested after admitting that he repeatedly jerked off on a coworker's desk, ejaculating into her coffee, because he was attracted to her and wanted her to notice him.

John R. Lind, 34, told police he came in the woman's coffee cup twice since February, and finished on her desk another 4 times, using one of her scrunchies to wipe up the mess. Police say Lind told them he knew his actions were "gross and wrong."

The coworker did eventually notice Lind, catching him at her desk with his hands on his crotch. She told police he turned around and looked at her like "a deer in the headlights." He tried to cover by telling her he'd just come in to ask her a question, but the gross evidence was damning.

According to CBS Minnesota,

The worker told police she inspected her desk and found fluid on the surface, dripping onto the floor. A lot of it had been absorbed into her hair scrunchy, which she put into a plastic bag. When at the scene, officers collected her coffee mug, coffee and scrunchy.
The coworker also said Lind had approached her with his zipper down so many times that she was considering reporting him for harassment. He now faces two counts of criminal sexual conduct, with the possibility of a year in jail and a $4,500 fine.

The victim told police she had noticed her coffee tasted strange recently—more than just two times since February—and she initially suspected spoiled cream. After they told her what Lind had admitted to, she said "I knew it."

Chicat · Post by **Chicat** » Thu Sep 04, 2014 9:23 am

Next time he should try the old pubic hair on the Coke can trick.

Sincerely,

United States Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas

the real dill · Post by **the real dill** » Thu Sep 04, 2014 9:35 am

Chicat · Post by **Chicat** » Fri Sep 05, 2014 7:45 am

Just had these two tweets show up in my timeline back to back:

azgreg · Post by **azgreg** » Fri Sep 05, 2014 9:44 am

Surgery on ailing Great Dane yields 43 ½ socks

http://news.msn.com/offbeat/surgery-on- ... -1-2-socks

PORTLAND, Ore. (AP) — The 3-year-old Great Dane was miserable and retching when its owners rushed him to a northwest Portland emergency animal hospital.

It was something he ate!

X-rays showed a stomach full of "a large quantity of foreign material." Nearly two hours of surgery later, Dr. Ashley Magee had the answer — the dog had consumed 43 ½ socks.

DoveLewis Emergency Animal Hospital spokeswoman Shawna Harch said it's perhaps the strangest case in the hospital's history, The Oregonian reported (http://is.gd/Zb55C9).

So strange that the hospital entered last February's tale, complete with X-rays, in an annual contest sponsored by the vet magazine, Veterinary Practice News, and won a prize. Fittingly enough, the contest is called "They Ate WHAT?"

scumdevils86 · Post by **scumdevils86** » Fri Sep 05, 2014 9:49 am

One of my cocker spaniels that is now gone used to like eating socks. My current one lovesssss eating toilet paper

Merkin · Post by **Merkin** » Fri Sep 05, 2014 9:55 am

Our pom used to take my daughter's panties out of her hamper in the closet and hide them in or under my bed. I thought they were just getting caught in the laundry...

azgreg · Post by **azgreg** » Fri Sep 05, 2014 9:56 am

At what point does a family realize they are missing a boatload of socks?

Chicat · Post by **Chicat** » Fri Sep 05, 2014 11:22 am

azgreg wrote:At what point does a family realize they are missing a boatload of socks?

Dog or no dog, isn't everyone missing a boatload of socks? I know we are...

azgreg · Post by **azgreg** » Fri Sep 05, 2014 11:25 am

Chicat wrote:
azgreg wrote:At what point does a family realize they are missing a boatload of socks?
Dog or no dog, isn't everyone missing a boatload of socks? I know we are...

Check your dog.

the real dill · Post by **the real dill** » Fri Sep 05, 2014 12:03 pm

University of Arizona senior Rob Monteleone published an article in the Arizona Wildcat this week and, let’s just say, it’s not being received too well.

That’s because “Only responsibility can stop rape” doesn’t exactly address where responsibility for sexual assault actually lies.

Let’s let his own words do the talking.

College is full of being vulnerable around strangers. When stated like that, it seems like something you’d want to avoid, no?

Only 6.6 percent of women who smoke will develop lung cancer. A woman who smokes is more than three times as likely to be sexually assaulted than she is to develop lung cancer. We turn our noses up at smokers and just made our campus tobacco-free. Yet, nothing is done about sexual assault, short of blaming the “attacker,” a guy who was likely as drunk as his “victim.”

Well, the concept of ‘blame the attacker’ is kind of the basis of modern systems of justice, in which the victim (also known as the person who didn’t commit the crime) is considered to be the person who didn’t commit the crime.

If it stopped there, maybe. Maybe, but Monteleone adds this line.

If drunk women who have sex are able to claim “rape,” why aren’t drunk men alleviated of responsibility for the poor decisions they make?

I don’t know, dude. You make a point, albeit a terrible one. If everyone could just get liquored up and commit all the crime they want, the world would probably be a better place.

Backlash has been, let’s say, strong.

Vinny Piccolo @RoseTintedVisor
Follow
You are a repregensible human being and your legacy will be that of a rape apologist. Go to hell. @MONTMAN9500
1:06 PM - 5 Sep 2014

J. Levi Burnfin @JLBurnfin
Follow
.@MONTMAN9500 "Hey, guys, drunk drivers kill people. So let them have the road alone! Just stay inside and don't do anything!"
12:51 PM - 5 Sep 2014

Michelle Beadle ✔ @MichelleDBeadle
Follow
You've got some hot takes, @MONTMAN9500. Enlightening.

Hopefully he will learn from this.

http://www.wildcat.arizona.edu/article/ ... -stop-rape

ghostwhitehorse · Post by **ghostwhitehorse** » Fri Sep 05, 2014 3:46 pm

Not news. . . but definitely weird.

Puerco · Post by **Puerco** » Mon Sep 08, 2014 3:28 am

Merkin wrote:Our pom used to take my daughter's panties out of her hamper in the closet and hide them in or under my bed. I thought they were just getting caught in the laundry...

Having a daughter myself, that's a scary & creepy thought. Can just imagine my wife's reaction to finding panties in the bed and me trying to blame the dog! <shudder>

Any awkwardness you'd like to share with the rest of us?

ghostwhitehorse · Post by **ghostwhitehorse** » Mon Sep 08, 2014 10:57 am

UAEebs86 · Post by **UAEebs86** » Mon Sep 15, 2014 8:06 am

http://www.tucsonnewsnow.com/story/2652 ... lecgbypass

PALO CEDRO, CA (KRCR/CNN) – A California man has been accused of killing his girlfriend's dog and feeding it to her.

A harshly worded, threatening note was allegedly written by Ryan Watenpaugh and delivered to his girlfriend along with the severed paws of her missing dog.

The Pomeranian, named Bear, went missing after the victim, who is from Redding, and Watenpaugh got into an argument.

Police say the couple had a turbulent relationship and argued often. By the first week of September, there was a reconciliation, and Watenpaugh cooked a meal containing meat for the victim.

On Sept. 7, he allegedly sent a text message to her claiming that her dog was in the meal. Menacing texts continued for two days until the grisly package arrived at her doorstep – allegedly delivered by Watenpaugh.

azgreg · Post by **azgreg** » Wed Sep 17, 2014 1:00 pm

Thai woman kills herself by jumping into crocodile pit in Bangkok

http://www.news.com.au/world/thai-woman ... 7061011829

A THAI woman has committed suicide by leaping into a pond of crocodiles at a farm popular with tourists on Bangkok’s outskirts, police told AFP on Tuesday.

The incident occurred during opening hours at the farm which doubles as a zoo and draws visitors who can feed the deadly reptiles from a walkway.

The 65-year-old woman reportedly took off her shoes and jumped from a resting point on the walkway into the middle of pond, which contains hundreds of adult crocodiles, Preecha Iam-nui of Samut Prakan police told AFP.

Keepers tried to beat off the animals with long sticks but that did not deter them and the woman was eaten by the animals.

“Her sister said the victim was suffering from stress and depression,” Preecha added.

The farm is an hour outside Bangkok.

Safety rules are often lax at Thai tourist attractions, which include tiger and crocodile farms.

The Samut Prakan farm fences are just a few feet high to allow visitors, including children, to feed the reptiles.

Trainers also perform with the creatures, lying on top of them or thrusting their heads and arms into the reptiles’ open jaws.

What a way to go.

Merkin · Post by **Merkin** » Wed Sep 17, 2014 1:02 pm

azgreg wrote:Keepers tried to beat off the animals

That might work with the male crocodiles, not sure about the females.

PieceOfMeat · Post by **PieceOfMeat** » Wed Sep 17, 2014 1:58 pm

azgreg wrote: What a way to go.

Seems like a pretty painful way to kill oneself. Eek.

azgreg · Post by **azgreg** » Wed Sep 17, 2014 2:00 pm

PieceOfMeat wrote:
azgreg wrote: What a way to go.
Seems like a pretty painful way to kill oneself. Eek.

Wouldn't be my choice.

Merkin · Post by **Merkin** » Wed Sep 17, 2014 2:11 pm

PieceOfMeat wrote:
azgreg wrote: What a way to go.
Seems like a pretty painful way to kill oneself. Eek.

Especially since it could be worse than death. Crocs could eat off your arms and legs then the keepers pull you out alive.

PieceOfMeat · Post by **PieceOfMeat** » Wed Sep 17, 2014 2:34 pm

azgreg wrote:
PieceOfMeat wrote:
azgreg wrote: What a way to go.
Seems like a pretty painful way to kill oneself. Eek.
Wouldn't be my choice.

Nor would it be my choice.

Merkin wrote:
PieceOfMeat wrote:
azgreg wrote: What a way to go.
Seems like a pretty painful way to kill oneself. Eek.
Especially since it could be worse than death. Crocs could eat off your arms and legs then the keepers pull you out alive.

And that's one of the reasons I'd not choose that method.

Longhorned · Post by **Longhorned** » Wed Sep 17, 2014 8:00 pm

I got abducted.

azgreg · Post by **azgreg** » Wed Sep 17, 2014 8:06 pm

Longhorned wrote:I got abducted.

By Femcat?

pokinmik · Post by **pokinmik** » Thu Sep 18, 2014 5:12 am

I remember watching a Faces of Death when I was a kid where some dude was parachuting down and lost his way I guess, and he was heading straight for a swamp full of alligators. The alligators even sensed he was coming, they formed a mosh pit sticking their mouths out of the water just waiting for him to drop in so they could eat him. The dude was screaming but there was nothing he could do to alter his course by that point. Very, very disturbing.

Jefe · Post by **Jefe** » Mon Sep 22, 2014 9:24 am

http://www.wkyt.com/home/headlines/Form ... 47361.html

SCOTTSDALE, Ariz. (AP) - A former NBA guard and Kentucky star accused of stealing thousands of dollars worth of merchandise from an Apple store in Scottsdale, Arizona was released from jail Saturday afternoon.

Police took 46-year-old Rex Chapman into custody Friday afternoon after officers stopped his vehicle in northeast Scottsdale.

He's accused of stealing $14,000 worth of merchandise from an Apple store in Scottsdale and then selling the items at a pawn shop.

He's facing nine counts of organized retail theft and five counts of trafficking stolen property, all felony charges.

Police say Chapman made it appear he was using the store's self-checkout, but left without paying.

He allegedly stole from the store seven times and sold the items for cash.

Chapman, a former Kentucky star, was a first-round draft pick of Charlotte in 1988. He also played for Washington, Miami and Phoenix in a 12-year NBA career that ended in 2000.

azgreg · Post by **azgreg** » Mon Sep 22, 2014 9:35 am

^^ Not weird. Now this is weird.

Woman undergoes surgery to add third breast
Read more at http://www.9news.com.au/world/2014/09/2 ... JfXA5HJ.99

http://www.9news.com.au/world/2014/09/2 ... ird-breast

A US massage therapist has gone to extreme lengths to become a reality TV star, undergoing surgery to add a third breast to her chest.

The Florida woman, who goes by the name Jasmine Tridevil, said she spent $20,000 on the procedure a few months ago after finally finding a doctor willing to perform the operation.

“I called 50 doctors,” Tridevil told Real Radio 104.1.

“It was really hard finding someone that would do it too because they’re breaking the code of ethics.”

Tridevil’s third breast was constructed in the middle of her chest with a silicone implant and skin tissue cut from her abdomen.

The surgeon was not able to make an artificial areola, so Tridevil had one tattooed on.

Tridevil, whose dream is to have her own MTV reality show, said her parents did not take the news of her third breast well.

“My mum ran out the door. She won’t talk to me. She won’t let my sister talk to me. My dad…he really isn’t happy. He is kind of ashamed of me but he accepted it,” she said.

As well as hoping for fame and fortune, Tridevil said there was another major reason she had the surgery.

“I got it because I wanted to make myself unattractive to men. Because I don’t want to date anymore,” she said.

“Most guys would think [the extra breast is] weird and gross. But I can still feel pretty because if I wore makeup and cute clothes, I can still, you know... feel pretty.”

Merkin · Post by **Merkin** » Thu Sep 25, 2014 1:50 pm

Wasn't she in Total Recall?

Fappy, the anti-masturbation dolphin:

https://www.facebook.com/fappythedolphin

http://nationalreport.net/fappy-the-dol ... turbation/

azgreg · Post by **azgreg** » Thu Sep 25, 2014 1:52 pm

You can't make that shit up.

UAEebs86 · Post by **UAEebs86** » Fri Sep 26, 2014 8:05 pm

Snopes says this story is fake:

http://www.snopes.com/photos/bodymods/j ... idevil.asp

azgreg wrote:^^ Not weird. Now this is weird.

Woman undergoes surgery to add third breast
Read more at http://www.9news.com.au/world/2014/09/2 ... JfXA5HJ.99

http://www.9news.com.au/world/2014/09/2 ... ird-breast

A US massage therapist has gone to extreme lengths to become a reality TV star, undergoing surgery to add a third breast to her chest.

The Florida woman, who goes by the name Jasmine Tridevil, said she spent $20,000 on the procedure a few months ago after finally finding a doctor willing to perform the operation.

“I called 50 doctors,” Tridevil told Real Radio 104.1.

“It was really hard finding someone that would do it too because they’re breaking the code of ethics.”

Tridevil’s third breast was constructed in the middle of her chest with a silicone implant and skin tissue cut from her abdomen.

The surgeon was not able to make an artificial areola, so Tridevil had one tattooed on.

Tridevil, whose dream is to have her own MTV reality show, said her parents did not take the news of her third breast well.

“My mum ran out the door. She won’t talk to me. She won’t let my sister talk to me. My dad…he really isn’t happy. He is kind of ashamed of me but he accepted it,” she said.

As well as hoping for fame and fortune, Tridevil said there was another major reason she had the surgery.

“I got it because I wanted to make myself unattractive to men. Because I don’t want to date anymore,” she said.

“Most guys would think [the extra breast is] weird and gross. But I can still feel pretty because if I wore makeup and cute clothes, I can still, you know... feel pretty.”

ghostwhitehorse · Post by **ghostwhitehorse** » Mon Sep 29, 2014 6:40 pm

Brave kitteh!

Chicat · Post by **Chicat** » Wed Oct 01, 2014 8:04 am

Cow has to be euthanized after being pelted with softballs.

http://www.sfgate.com/news/article/Phoe ... 784993.php

the real dill · Post by **the real dill** » Wed Oct 08, 2014 7:37 am

From 1912:

azgreg · Post by **azgreg** » Wed Oct 08, 2014 7:48 am

Prices seem reasonable.

UAGreg · Post by **UAGreg** » Wed Oct 08, 2014 8:09 am

Pinkey's Special for the win

PieceOfMeat · Post by **PieceOfMeat** » Wed Oct 08, 2014 8:24 am

am I the only one who thinks that looks fake?

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