25 lies you will tell yourself on National Signing Day
Posted: Mon Feb 01, 2016 9:06 am
It's the most self-delusional time of the year, and everyone's gonna tell the same lies together!
Rival U is cheating significantly more than my school is.
Our many JUCO signees have unique stories full of context and nuance, unlike Rival U's, who are bad people.
Recruiting rankings are [total bullshit/anti-Great Plains/flawed forever because Texas commits were overrated like five years ago/ESECSPNBIAS/social constructs devised by the patriarchy] anyway.
Rival U's four-star quarterback should play wide receiver or whatever.
Our four-star wide receiver/athlete just needs one year of coaching and ~voila~ a quarterback.
He's only a two-star because he's not in ~our~ strength program yet.
[massive spree of excuses for your school's mediocre academic rankings and sad NFL Draft production, all in the same list somehow]
I know a guy who says [...].
Rival U's out here cutting student-athletes from its commitment list as if it's a downsizing drug cartel, whereas your critiques of my alma mater severing ties with some unacceptable players lack the facts.
After studying* his film**, I think [...].
Rival U's top signee wasn't even the best player in his own Home Ec class.
Player said he chose us over Rival U because of our engineering program. This is why my school is special. The media should make a bigger deal out of this. Wow, the first Super Bowl MVP to land on Jupiter; can't wait. He made a 400-year decision, not a four-year decision. Rival U doesn't even have an engineering program that I acknowledge. I am shuddering with hope for the future of our species.
Player said he chose Rival U over us because of their engineering program. Engineering cheating.
Enormous monster speedbeast will never make the NFL, and the reason for that is he signed at Rival U.
That our many unrated players have the same rating as Ed Reed is noteworthy.
Kansas State has two-stars. Kansas State wins. We have two-stars. ERGO FACTO.
Most of these signees and our head coach will still be here in four years.
He only picked Rival U because his girlfriend/mom/dog/brother goes there. We didn't even waste all of our time trying, wisely.
My tweets at recruits mattered.
Alabama lost to underdog recruiting lightweight Ohio State a couple years ago, so recruiting rankings are meaningless.
Khalil Mack and like a million blue chips get picked in the NFL Draft, so recruiting rankings are meaningless.
The NCAA will do something about Rival U's cheating soon.
The NCAA.
I'll try and pay less attention to recruiting next year.
We didn't want him.
http://www.sbnation.com/college-footbal ... itll-be-ok" target="_blank
Rival U is cheating significantly more than my school is.
Our many JUCO signees have unique stories full of context and nuance, unlike Rival U's, who are bad people.
Recruiting rankings are [total bullshit/anti-Great Plains/flawed forever because Texas commits were overrated like five years ago/ESECSPNBIAS/social constructs devised by the patriarchy] anyway.
Rival U's four-star quarterback should play wide receiver or whatever.
Our four-star wide receiver/athlete just needs one year of coaching and ~voila~ a quarterback.
He's only a two-star because he's not in ~our~ strength program yet.
[massive spree of excuses for your school's mediocre academic rankings and sad NFL Draft production, all in the same list somehow]
I know a guy who says [...].
Rival U's out here cutting student-athletes from its commitment list as if it's a downsizing drug cartel, whereas your critiques of my alma mater severing ties with some unacceptable players lack the facts.
After studying* his film**, I think [...].
Rival U's top signee wasn't even the best player in his own Home Ec class.
Player said he chose us over Rival U because of our engineering program. This is why my school is special. The media should make a bigger deal out of this. Wow, the first Super Bowl MVP to land on Jupiter; can't wait. He made a 400-year decision, not a four-year decision. Rival U doesn't even have an engineering program that I acknowledge. I am shuddering with hope for the future of our species.
Player said he chose Rival U over us because of their engineering program. Engineering cheating.
Enormous monster speedbeast will never make the NFL, and the reason for that is he signed at Rival U.
That our many unrated players have the same rating as Ed Reed is noteworthy.
Kansas State has two-stars. Kansas State wins. We have two-stars. ERGO FACTO.
Most of these signees and our head coach will still be here in four years.
He only picked Rival U because his girlfriend/mom/dog/brother goes there. We didn't even waste all of our time trying, wisely.
My tweets at recruits mattered.
Alabama lost to underdog recruiting lightweight Ohio State a couple years ago, so recruiting rankings are meaningless.
Khalil Mack and like a million blue chips get picked in the NFL Draft, so recruiting rankings are meaningless.
The NCAA will do something about Rival U's cheating soon.
The NCAA.
I'll try and pay less attention to recruiting next year.
We didn't want him.
http://www.sbnation.com/college-footbal ... itll-be-ok" target="_blank