The Push Present

[Olsondogg]

I just dropped some coin on some princess cut diamond earrings this morning...bought her a Tiffany's necklace for the first...this is some major bullshit right here. Who thought of this? Oprah?

38% of new mothers received a push present, and 55% of pregnant mothers wanted one...

And am I really in the minority here?

[Longhorned]

At the risk of my family disowning me, I'm not buying it. Any of it. Nobody even gets birthday presents. Not even my wife. I was clear about this before the marriage started. One advantage is that I don't have to compete with my past self every year. I think it's all a load of crap.

[Chicat]

I think the same bitch who invented Sweetest Day came up with the Push Present. It's a steaming pile of bullshit, but if your wife is the only one who doesn't get an overpriced piece of jewelry then you're the asshole husband who doesn't love her as much as her friends are loved. So live with that if you can...

[Longhorned]

The push present, along with the push present progressive, should be a verb tense, giving sense to the element of effort and zest with which an action occurs. It alerts the listener or reader through lengthening the verb with additional consonants.

Present progressive: Bob is on the toilet working through his constipation.

Push present progressive: Bob is on the toilet worrrrking through his constipation.

[Merkin]

Never heard of it:

A push present (also known as a push gift, baby mama gift or baby bauble) is a present a father gives to the mother to mark the occasion of her giving birth to their child. In practice the present may be given before or after the birth, or even in the delivery room. The giving of push presents has supposedly grown in the United States in recent years.[1] A push gift is any type of present loved ones give to a woman who has recently given birth to a child.

If it was up to me I would be like Longhorned, never give or receive presents. My wife and kids wouldn't like that though. If I want something, I just go buy it. If I didn't buy it, I don't want it.

However, I do stick with never giving flowers ever. Last time I gave my wife flowers was when our baby daughter was born, over 21 years ago for the hospital room. She has not seen flowers from me since.

[SCCats]

All this kind of stuff to me always sounds like a version of the matrix...like it's got you and you're fucked so you might as well just lay back and do what's always going to occur, what will have occurred, what has always occurred, what will occur a billion trillion times over as history goes forward...

[ASUHATER!]

Shouldn't you use the money from a stupid push present to save for paying for the kid's college or something?

[Chicat]

All this kind of stuff to me always sounds like a version of the matrix...like it's got you and you're fucked so you might as well just lay back and do what's always going to occur, what will have occurred, what has always occurred, what will occur a billion trillion times over as history goes forward...

I just wish I'd taken the blue pill...

[Olsondogg]

Shouldn't you use the money from a stupid push present to save for paying for the kid's college or something?

Oh we are doing that too...already have accounts set up for that, but I don't know if an algorithm has been written that estimates the cost of college in 15-20 years...

Speaking of algorithms...by bro in law once told me a saying that his father used to tell him about women, and it seems to apply here in push present-land with a slight modification...his dad said: "Pussy has the power of a thousand mules..." but I think it has the power of a thousand algorithms, simply because it evolves and it's power is never understood.

[Chicat]

ODogg, call it a Push Present/Mother's Day gift and be done with it. Tis the season you unlucky bastard...

[Alieberman]

Never bought a push present. Weird idea

[ASUHATER!]

Well the push present money should be added to the existing funds. Considering the in state price of going to Arizona has more than tripled in 15 years, I wouldn't be surprised if in state tuition was about $25,000 a year in 15 years

[Olsondogg]

ODogg, call it a Push Present/Mother's Day gift and be done with it. Tis the season you unlucky bastard...

Flowers that day...I always go flowers...

Oh and I did check in advance, if the second child needed a C-section, is there a clause in the push present rules considering that in that situation there is no pushing.

I was told that was surgery, and that the present should still be given for major surgery.


Tis the season to be fucked, Chi...that's true. I thought after getting the kitchen remodeled with new Caesarstone countertops that she wanted, along with new stainless appliances, and tile backsplashes...along with installing a new door to our bathroom with barn-door hardware, and painting and furnishing the Nursery #2, I would have some buffer against being an asshole for at least a minute, if not getting out of the fucking push present.

No. I am fucked. Cause I have no hand...and I need it.

[84Cat]

Sounds like another bs thing made up to sell more shit. I would say, if you want a present, you got to earn it. All natural or no present. None of this getting analgesia with no pain. Badassity required for rewards!

[wyo-cat]

C-section for the twins - I guess I got lucky, no push present since there was no pushing.

[pokinmik]

Never heard of this nonsense. And I don't think my wife has either. She's just over 5 months in with our first right now. Like LH, we called a truce on most presents for Hallmark holidays or 'expected' times. My wife is awesome.

And what is with these stories of photographers bamboozling parents in the hospital right after birth, selling $100-$600 picture packages??? Fuckkk that, I'll have no problem saying no thanks.

[Chicat]

And what is with these stories of photographers bamboozling parents in the hospital right after birth, selling $100-$600 picture packages??? Fuckkk that, I'll have no problem saying no thanks.

When my youngest was born the hospital photographer came in and snapped a bunch of pics. She must have been new or something because she printed some out and left them with us and the sheet showing how much the packages were and told us to think it over and she'd be back. So we spent the 15 minutes she was gone snapping pics of the printed out pictures with our cell phones and ended up getting some really nice shots of our newborn for free. Thanks overpriced and not-too-smart photographer!

[Longhorned]

And what is with these stories of photographers bamboozling parents in the hospital right after birth, selling $100-$600 picture packages??? Fuckkk that, I'll have no problem saying no thanks.

When my youngest was born the hospital photographer came in and snapped a bunch of pics. She must have been new or something because she printed some out and left them with us and the sheet showing how much the packages were and told us to think it over and she'd be back. So we spent the 15 minutes she was gone snapping pics of the printed out pictures with our cell phones and ended up getting some really nice shots of our newborn for free. Thanks overpriced and not-too-smart photographer!

Extortion, meet Piracy. Love it.

[Olsondogg]

I should mention that after our first was born, and I gave my wife her first push present, I also spent the $250 on the hospital photos that show us extremely tired and ready to go home. You see my son had jaundice, and we had to stay in the hospital for a couple extra days...and we would have agreed to anything after that second extra night in the hospital.

So in essence, this thread shows that I am a pushover in every sense of the word.

[scumdevils86]

So glad my gf (and future wife) is nothing like this. She is usually far more practical and cheaper than I am yet is brilliant and has great taste in most everything. She planned the wedding in her head already and it is already done smartly (yet tastefully) for a very appealing budget to my wallet. She's a keeper.

[gumby]

Push present? Hospital photos? Spend it on a vasectomy. Already have your balls.

[gumby]

C-section for the twins - I guess I got lucky, no push present since there was no pushing.

Calls for cut diamonds.

[CalStateTempe]

I got my wife a burrito.

You're welcome.

[CalStateTempe]

And BTW scum, we have been taking out daughter out to all these fancy restaurants at all times when normal people eat. She is great! Not a peep, just smiles at people, looks around, and plays with this little stuffed dog we got her.

We get compliments from everyone, drunk businessmen, servers, families, russian babes, etc.

No 5-6:30 dinner for us.

I wish I had you're posts from TOS...you'll be joining us married, parent folk in no time.

[ASUHATER!]

And BTW scum, we have been taking out daughter out to all these fancy restaurants at all times when normal people eat. She is great! Not a peep, just smiles at people, looks around, and plays with this little stuffed dog we got her.

We get compliments from everyone, drunk businessmen, servers, families, russian babes, etc.

No 5-6:30 dinner for us.

I wish I had you're posts from TOS...you'll be joining us married, parent folk in no time.

Well you're the exception to the rule for sure.

[gumby]

We took our son (first born) everywhere -- movies, airplanes, restaurants ... always quiet. Even brought him to a job interview.

[CalStateTempe]

We took our son (first born) everywhere -- movies, airplanes, restaurants ... always quiet. Even brought him to a job interview.

Haha, Victoria too! She helped wih landing a great offer in a geographically undesirable location which we ultimately turned down. She's been on 5 cross continental rt flights and tons of resturants, shopping, metros etc. all in 8.5 mo of life. Took me 16 years before my first flight!

Never a peep she just looks around and takes it all in with a big smile.

[Puerco]

What?! This is total BS. Yet another gift that the man has to give to the woman...?

[ghostwhitehorse]

*smirk*

[scumdevils86]

*smirk*

*gives invisible rep*

[PieceOfMeat]

What?! This is total BS. Yet another gift that the man has to give to the woman...?

let them have their push presents.

Just make them give the men pump presents

[azgreg]

I gave my wife the presents 9 months in advance and let the doctor help her unwrap them.

[ASUHATER!]

Sometimes after a difficult dump I feel like I deserve a present or award.

[Olsondogg]

Just a little update, which made this experience all the nicer...the wife checked the bank account, which (I thought) she never really does...and I got a text to the effect of "What is this charge for? What did you buy for that amount?"

So yeah, this is all working out nicely.

[smashmode]

Push Present? What the heck is that non-sense. My 'gift' to her is being the one that has to wake up every night because my kid wakes up and wants to come into bed with us.