Pancreatic cancer

Irish27 · Post by **Irish27** » Fri Dec 23, 2016 5:46 pm

You definitely are an inspiration BigSky. Keep a positive attitude and have a Merry Christmas with your family.

BigSkyCatinMT · Post by **BigSkyCatinMT** » Fri Jan 27, 2017 9:22 pm

adios

scumdevils86 · Post by **scumdevils86** » Fri Jan 27, 2017 9:36 pm

Shit. Don't give up man.

Longhorned · Post by **Longhorned** » Fri Jan 27, 2017 9:51 pm

Godspeed, mtzwami. You'll live on in everyone and everything you've loved. I'm graced to know you. We'll all carry you forward here. I hope you take in all you deserve from the ones closest to you. Bear Down.

Merkin · Post by **Merkin** » Fri Jan 27, 2017 11:01 pm

What a great dad you are, your son will never go a day without thinking about you.

I know we never saw eye to eye, but I think we had a lot of mutual respect for each other and could have been great friends and neighbors.

Puerco · Post by **Puerco** » Sat Jan 28, 2017 2:35 am

Keep doing what you do, BigSky. Whether it's here or in the next place doesn't matter.

BigSkyCatinMT · Post by **BigSkyCatinMT** » Sat Jan 28, 2017 10:08 am

I posted that here...since it's been kinda "my thread".

I'm OK.

Signed in just for this post after realizing that it was a crappy way to leave.

I'm just taking a leave for a while...that's all. I let frustration get the best of me yesterday, and just I can't allow that.

Longhorned · Post by **Longhorned** » Sat Jan 28, 2017 10:29 am

Frustration, depression, anger, encouragement, elation ... anything you feel is completely justified and supported here. I hope you check in when you can. Bear Down.

Alieberman · Post by **Alieberman** » Sat Jan 28, 2017 11:14 am

You can post anything you like here... we just like seeing you post.

All my best,

Ari

azcat49 · Post by **azcat49** » Sat Jan 28, 2017 11:49 am

Big Sky, let AZ sports and us be your calming waters. We are here for you to support you, encourage you, smile and laugh with you and even cry with you.

We will look forward to hearing from you when you are ready

BigSkyCatinMT · Post by **BigSkyCatinMT** » Sat Jan 28, 2017 2:23 pm

Thanks to all. Sorry for being so abrupt in an idiotic fashion without a ''Why"

I'll lurk, and read. Expect to be back on by the time the Conference Tournament starts. Mostly, I have to step back and do a self-examination to find out why the 'Angry Me' got loose yesterday after almost 2 years...Negativity is it's own cancer.

And ChiCat? That 'me' got loose even before our exchange yesterday. I'm still a work in progress in more ways than one.

Merkin, somehow I always considered you to be my best friend on these message boards for about the least 20 years. Differences never meant squat to me.

Last post til I reconcile with myself. g-dspeed, all.

Chicat · Post by **Chicat** » Sat Jan 28, 2017 2:41 pm

No need to explain MTZ. You're going through something I wouldn't wish on anyone, but that I unfortunately watched my dad struggle through until he passed. You're going to have rough days. That's a given. Just come back stronger. Fight on and Bear Down.

BigSkyCatinMT · Post by **BigSkyCatinMT** » Sat Jan 28, 2017 3:45 pm

One more dang post...

Chicat, Lost my dad at 4:15 PM to a stroke at TG Dinner 4 years ago. I can never get over that day. Realization: I am now the family 'Caretaker'. It's my turn - not sure I can do it.

Irish27 · Post by **Irish27** » Sun Jan 29, 2017 9:15 am

Stay positive Big Sky. Praying for you and keep fighting.

Alieberman · Post by **Alieberman** » Sun Jan 29, 2017 10:06 am

Please keep posting 1 more dang post!

BigSkyCatinMT · Post by **BigSkyCatinMT** » Fri Feb 03, 2017 4:49 pm

Cousin diagnosed with metastatic melanoma last month. Gone in 18 days. 2nd one already this year. Why the Hell am I still around??

Longhorned · Post by **Longhorned** » Fri Feb 03, 2017 5:20 pm

BigSkyCatinMT wrote:Cousin diagnosed with metastatic melanoma last month. Gone in 18 days. 2nd one already this year. Why the Hell am I still around??

I'm really sorry for your loss, BigSky. Take care of everyone.

BigSkyCatinMT · Post by **BigSkyCatinMT** » Thu Feb 16, 2017 3:40 pm

Hi everyone!!

Thanks to all who supported me.

I should get a Masters Degree for what I've learned in nutrition.

Doing good, really, really good. If the snow ever melts, gonna live this year as if it's my last. Gonna teach my 13 year old son all I can. Started teaching Self-defense classes again...I hold Rokudan rank.

Years go by...my son wasn't even a thought when I registered at TOS. Now, he's almost a man. Going to be one hell of a year! I'll be around for the tourney, but so much to do. So much to do. So, so much...

Chicat · Post by **Chicat** » Thu Feb 16, 2017 3:54 pm

Best post I've read in months. Keep fighting MTZ!

Merkin · Post by **Merkin** » Thu Feb 16, 2017 3:59 pm

Great news!

What a wonderful thing to live for.

BigSkyCatinMT · Post by **BigSkyCatinMT** » Thu Feb 16, 2017 4:00 pm

Geez, Chicat - you are my foe, my archrival, my nemesis.

Thank you.

azcat49 · Post by **azcat49** » Thu Feb 16, 2017 4:01 pm

Hell yea!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Way to go BigSky

azgreg · Post by **azgreg** » Thu Feb 16, 2017 4:06 pm

Right on buddy!

BigSkyCatinMT · Post by **BigSkyCatinMT** » Thu Feb 16, 2017 4:13 pm

Proud dad moment;

My son is something... He was recruited by a local H.S. Choir when he was 11 because they needed a Bass singer. At 13, he matches me. He's a nut. Poor guy gonna be as messed up as me.

CalStateTempe · Post by **CalStateTempe** » Thu Feb 16, 2017 4:38 pm

Love it! Big ups big sky!

BigSkyCatinMT · Post by **BigSkyCatinMT** » Tue Feb 21, 2017 2:00 pm

and then there are bad days. Spent Friday in ER. Not going to ruin my year one bit.

Chicat · Post by **Chicat** » Tue Feb 21, 2017 3:00 pm

BigSkyCatinMT wrote:and then there are bad days. Spent Friday in ER. Not going to ruin my year one bit.

Good. Fuck cancer. Don't let it beat you down MTZ. Just keep Bearing Down and you will kick its ass. We are ALL with you!

BigSkyCatinMT · Post by **BigSkyCatinMT** » Tue Feb 21, 2017 3:44 pm

Chicat wrote:
BigSkyCatinMT wrote:and then there are bad days. Spent Friday in ER. Not going to ruin my year one bit.
Good. Fuck cancer. Don't let it beat you down MTZ. Just keep Bearing Down and you will kick its ass. We are ALL with you!

I am not quitting. I do sometimes get really, really pissed and grouchy. Not fun to be around me when that happens. I am also the best version of me that I have been in years...and I can still be a big-time Dick!. mtz was never in capitals. See? Dickishness!

For my son, for Him. I will fight on.

I am such an ornery person, bet I'm here in 10 more years!

BigSkyCatinMT · Post by **BigSkyCatinMT** » Tue Feb 21, 2017 4:07 pm

I once broke my tailbone in The Snake River. I hung onto a rock for almost 2 days before they found me and lifted me out. I don't quit easy. Might get beat, but not without one helluva fight!!

EVCat · Post by **EVCat** » Thu Feb 23, 2017 1:17 pm

I wish there was a like button. I don't know you, so I don't have anything personal to a relationship to say...a simple "like" would be appropriate from a stranger for your kick-its-ass posts.

But there isn't. So I will just comment here that you have a fan in some guy you don't know. Probably a few of them here. I check this thread with trepidation but am often rewarded by joy from your words. As a man who has found parenting to be the value in, and my best opportunity to pay back, being granted life, I am especially moved by your primary motivation.

Bear Down. Or keep Bearing Down.

Longhorned · Post by **Longhorned** » Thu Feb 23, 2017 3:19 pm

EVCat wrote:I wish there was a like button. I don't know you, so I don't have anything personal to a relationship to say...a simple "like" would be appropriate from a stranger for your kick-its-ass posts.

But there isn't. So I will just comment here that you have a fan in some guy you don't know. Probably a few of them here. I check this thread with trepidation but am often rewarded by joy from your words. As a man who has found parenting to be the value in, and my best opportunity to pay back, being granted life, I am especially moved by your primary motivation.

Bear Down. Or keep Bearing Down.

Well said. +1

CalStateTempe · Post by **CalStateTempe** » Thu Feb 23, 2017 5:04 pm

+2.

Big sky is an inspiration to me on how to come at life.

Puerco · Post by **Puerco** » Fri Feb 24, 2017 12:10 am

Except for that broekn tailbone and two days in the Snake River thing. I don't want to do that!

Irish27 · Post by **Irish27** » Fri Feb 24, 2017 5:38 am

Keep fighting Sky and keep the positive attitude.

LBdCactus · Post by **LBdCactus** » Fri Feb 24, 2017 9:10 pm

I'm tearing up here reading this, Sky. Your story connects with me deeply, as my family went through a similar situation recently. I just wanted to echo what others said here, you are an inspiration. Keep fighting, big man. Bear Down.

Lando05 · Post by **Lando05** » Sat Feb 25, 2017 8:48 am

Keep fighting and posting Big Sky. Postive thoughts and vibes to you and your son!

ghostwhitehorse · Post by **ghostwhitehorse** » Sun Feb 26, 2017 1:12 pm

BigSkyCatinMT wrote:I once broke my tailbone in The Snake River. I hung onto a rock for almost 2 days before they found me and lifted me out. I don't quit easy. Might get beat, but not without one helluva fight!!

"Failure is not an option. It is mandatory. The option is whether or not to let failure be the last thing you do." - Howard Taylor

BigSkyCatinMT · Post by **BigSkyCatinMT** » Fri Mar 03, 2017 11:53 pm

Puerco wrote:Except for that broekn tailbone and two days in the Snake River thing. I don't want to do that!

Not quite 2 days, but I learned something ther - later

dovecanyoncat · Post by **dovecanyoncat** » Sat Mar 04, 2017 11:20 pm

Brother, from one Montana man to another: we are not the same and we don't suffer the same trial, but we fight the same fight. In the Snake, in the Flathead, in the Clark Fork and the Boise, the same day acquires of us the answer that is the best of us. This is the demand. This is our fate. It concludes and we stand by it. For and from my part I would give you but another task: tell yourself a number greater than you dare to hope for and hold it as your horizon. I have been in the vise longer than I could have imagined, and certainly longer than I deserved, and as the attendant torments hold forth I no longer recognize the numbers that once seemed beyond me.

We do this thing largely alone, bridged only by those who love us and suffer even more than we do. But if ever you want to talk...I've spent many years deep in the rivers of the inland northwest. PM me.

BigSkyCatinMT · Post by **BigSkyCatinMT** » Mon Apr 24, 2017 12:52 am

Been 6 weeks since I posted. Status quo. Holding my own - time will tell. Have aggressive plans to live again...May all of you that take the time to read this be blessed, or to be moved to help others in need. Breaks my heart - just the thought of not being there for my son if I lose this battle. He is becoming a man, and a damn good man. Lord, grant me a few more years, please!!

Puerco · Post by **Puerco** » Mon Apr 24, 2017 1:29 am

Good luck, brother. Our thoughts and prayers are with you.

Chicat · Post by **Chicat** » Mon Apr 24, 2017 3:49 am

BigSkyCatinMT wrote:Status quo. Holding my own

Keep fighting MTZ!

BigSkyCatinMT wrote:He is becoming a man, and a damn good man.

I have no doubt that's because of the example you've set.

FreeSpiritCat · Post by **FreeSpiritCat** » Mon Apr 24, 2017 7:02 am

BigSkyCatinMT wrote:Been 6 weeks since I posted. Status quo. Holding my own - time will tell. Have aggressive plans to live again...May all of you that take the time to read this be blessed, or to be moved to help others in need. Breaks my heart - just the thought of not being there for my son if I lose this battle. He is becoming a man, and a damn good man. Lord, grant me a few more years, please!!

Whether you win or losing this battle is the real fight. The real battle is the fact you are determined and fight. Your son sees this and, unlike many his age, has an understanding of what the battles in life is all about. You are setting a wonderful example. Your son is learning about the struggles in life at an age where he can really make a difference. The love in your heart for your child will spill over into his life. You're doing your job as a parent.

Your fight has inspired many here, including me. It makes me realize that many of my struggles pale in comparison. Fight on!!!

BigSkyCatinMT · Post by **BigSkyCatinMT** » Mon Apr 24, 2017 8:22 pm

Sorry, was a bit depressed last night. My 13 year old son had just returned from a 4-day music festival where he won 1st place in State for Bass Solo. But his aggregate score was not enough for him to go to Nationals. 3 of his friends made Nationals.

On the plus side, as a 13 year old Bass Singer, he was the only middle school kid in the entire contest...in any category. Once he gets used to his voice, he'll be fine.

As for me, I know it's not like kicking an extra point where it's over and the result is known in seconds. Sometimes I get overwhelmed by the enormity of it all. After a deep breath and concentrating on the small goals again, it seems much more manageable.

It's what I told my son last night...you won State, you didn't get to Nationals, but when you are in the 10th grade like Sam and Lucky, it will be your turn. I had to think about living by my own 'wisdom'? I'm better today, still a bit blue and not sure why.

Dave

BigSkyCatinMT · Post by **BigSkyCatinMT** » Tue Apr 25, 2017 2:21 am

Wish I had great news for everyone, but I don't. Not bad news either. I'm stuck between getting better, or not. Life is a cycle...almost want to give up at times - then a ferocious side of me fights back!

I see this fantastic person my son is becoming, and I don't want to miss a minute of his young life.

I want to thank all here, though it's just a sports forum...many here have given encouragement when I was at my lowest.

dovecanyoncat · Post by **dovecanyoncat** » Tue Apr 25, 2017 6:47 pm

You've got this Dave. Every damn day.

EVCat · Post by **EVCat** » Thu Apr 27, 2017 9:15 am

Go! Go! Go!

We all need reasons to believe. You need it to make it through an unimaginable reality for most of us, yet you do it just as you would anything else. Full on. So now, you are both making it by having goals and believing, and providing everyone who reads this thread with a reason to believe. Your impact will be felt on your child and these idiots on this message board, endings be damned, just because of approach.

Thanks for updating this as you can.

CalStateTempe · Post by **CalStateTempe** » Thu Apr 27, 2017 9:26 am

Keep kicking ass Big Sky.

These are not just words, you are an inspiration for all of us. Sharing your ups and downs has certainly influenced how I've viewed life the past year. A very heartfelt thank you.

BigSkyCatinMT · Post by **BigSkyCatinMT** » Thu May 11, 2017 8:38 pm

And now I am the one giving support...from a cousin in Salt Lake over the last few months, the cancer stuff I found out about tonight.;

October: It appears to be a serious lung condition as a result of a infection when I was a child...explains why I was sick a lot growing up...there is no cure.

Me: What's it called?

bronchiolitis obliterative

Tonight:

Damn good to say hi cousin...I am staying with a friend...guy I worked with for 20 years. funny I knew I was really sick but did not know it was lung cancer! just like grandpa Allen.

Me: how bad?

Me: I may be able to help in fighting the effects of the treatment.

I,ll know more next month...they took most of my right lung!

Me: That sucks. Grandma Allen too. Hang tough.

you know I will!!!

He signed off.

Thanks to many here, maybe I am around to encourage him through this. Maybe because of you, I get to pay forward the encouragement I received. Thank you all!

Puerco · Post by **Puerco** » Fri May 12, 2017 5:06 am

You're the best, man. Seriously.

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