Eligibility Issue...I'm available for '18

[Joethestuff]

With next year's class in, to put it mildly, in limbo, I'm ready to help out as a grad student for '18-'19

Graduated in '91
5'10, 200 lbs.
Great handle
Serviceable jumper to 21"
A potential liability on D
Limited explosiveness & foot speed
Great glue, chemistry guy...

Am I eligible??? Where do I send a tape???

[Merkin]

5'10" shoes on or off?

[UAEebs86]

Could you take Chris Rogers at the rec center?

[Longhorned]

Serviceable jumper to 21"

[Alieberman]

I'll put my hat in the ring:

Graduated AZ in '97
5'11, 175 lbs. (Just lost 15 pounds in the last few months by running 3 miles every other day)
44 years old with still a full head of hair (Salt and pepper but still full)
Average jumper as long as no one is guarding me
Best defensive move is my sarcastic sense of humor
Very good at blocking shots vs my 10 and 13 year olds

Other important factors to consider:

Tutored Damon Stoudamire for a few weeks (he skipped most of the sessions)
Once gave Reggie Geary a ride home
Lute Olson once held my then 1 year old for a picture.

[Phylek]

I'm good for half court...

[IrishAzCat]

[DiehardDave37]

So that is why I could not find that picture of me. How did you get past my 80 pound pit bull to get it?
I still have 4 years of eligibility left. Not even my high school coach could stand me for more than a week.
Is there such a thing as post graduate transfers? AZ could steal me away from Michigan State. They offered me a teacher's assistant job for my doctorate. Let's get even with Izzo.
I played a wicked game of horse in my grandfather's horse barn 66 years ago. Everyone else was afraid to try my signature shot from the rafters.With Pinder gone, I could be the enforcer and trip the guy I was guarding with my cane. I'm short, but I compensate for it by being slow.

[azcat49]

6'6" 250 with the ability to explode off the bounce. Limited hops makes me a poor finisher though. I like to play physical but if someone knocks my glasses off you might see me run right into the crowd thinking I am headed down court

[Longhorned]

No lateral quickness but I enjoy training table.

[dmjcat]

With next year's class in, to put it mildly, in limbo, I'm ready to help out as a grad student for '18-'19

Graduated in '91
5'10, 200 lbs.
Great handle
Serviceable jumper to 21"
A potential liability on D
Limited explosiveness & foot speed
Great glue, chemistry guy...

Am I eligible??? Where do I send a tape???

Sounds like a 2" bigger version of PJC............sign him up

[IrishAzCat]

I think we found our new point guard:

[azgreg]

6' 2" to 6'4" (depending on my back at the time) 275 lbs. I have the vertical of a hedgehog and can hit the rim 3 out of 4 tries from inside 12 feet.

[UAEebs86]

I can grab a quarter off the top of the backboard and leave 15 cents change.




With an 8 foot stepladder.

[TatetheGreat]

Good shooter
Great leader
Large hands
Hates the FBI

[ASUHATER!]

Look like some toddler size hands to me on that ball.

[Beachcat97]

Class of '99. 6'4, 195. Deadly from 3. But the lift on my jumper is all but gone. Oh, and haven't played 5 on 5 in about 10 years.

[ASUHATER!]

'08 5'9" 205

Been awful at sports my whole life... especially basketball. I just talk about them online. Put me in coach.

[DiehardDave37]

I think we found our new point guard:

Am I intimidating or what? I still can't figger out how you guys are getting those personal photos of mine. I'm ready, but how do I get to Tucson? Trailways says that they can't get down into my Hollar (Hollow for non mountaineers) any longer, but I think they're just scaredy cats because some upper level stuffed shirt saw reruns of those movies that put us God fearing people in a bad light. But I admit that one of those movies with Burt Reynolds had some great dueling banjo music. It isn't as as bad as people think. I tubed that same creek with no problem and didn't even take Vaseline with me.

[Spaceman Spiff]

I'm a 6'3, 190 lb wing. Still in half decent thanks to doing powerlifting/strongman stuff.

Upsides:

I still have a year of eligibility.
I was previously on a midmajor D1 roster. How much I produced...is not the question at hand.
I'm 36, so I feel like I can bring experience.
I have a solid home life and did well in school, so I'm unlikely to embarass the program with a legal incident and can be an APR asset.

Downsides:

I can't remember the last time I touched a basketball. The working world sucks.
I would totally take 150k if Christian Dawkins wanted to give it to me.
You thought it was frustrating watching Dusan's foot speed vs other bigs? You're going to hate watching me try to cover Troy Brown.
I have IBS, so I may really monopolize the locker room toilet.
I like old person rap, so I'm pretty sure the kids will get sick of me talking about how I hate that Mumbly Joe new rap. Back in my day, rappers enunciated so you could understand them. Plus, some of them would growl and bark on every track so you knew they were there.

[Beachcat97]

Epic, Spiff. You’re on the team.

[Joethestuff]

I like how this is shaping up to be an awesome ESPN E:60 or "30 for 30":

Storied National Power Arizona hits hard times after being impugned and defamed by a national sports network, loses its entire roster to early departures, transfers and de-commitments.

Where does it turn???

To its hardcore alumni fanbase of 35-55 year-old weekend warriors and two confused (very confused) 4-star recruits that Head Coach Sean MIller cobbles together to compete in 2018-19 as they finish the season 0-27 with a point differential of -67. However, they galvanize the nation and capture the hearts of millions in what is called "most pathetic spectacle ever perpetrated in modern American sports."

But do you know the rest of the story???

Tune in for a special edition of ESPN's "30 for 30" of:

I need a title.....

[Spaceman Spiff]

I like how this is shaping up to be an awesome ESPN E:60 or "30 for 30":

Storied National Power Arizona hits hard times after being impugned and defamed by a national sports network, loses its entire roster to early departures, transfers and de-commitments.

Where does it turn???

To its hardcore alumni fanbase of 35-55 year-old weekend warriors and two confused (very confused) 4-star recruits that Head Coach Sean MIller cobbles together to compete in 2018-19 as they finish the season 0-27 with a point differential of -67. However, they galvanize the nation and capture the hearts of millions in what is called "most pathetic spectacle ever perpetrated in modern American sports."

But do you know the rest of the story???

Tune in for a special edition of ESPN's "30 for 30" of:

I need a title.....

It's like the plot of Space Jam if the Toon Squad didn't have Jordan.

[EVCat]

I am like Parker Jackson-Cartwright.
Except white. Same height, so I can be listed at 5'11", though I am definitely not 5'11". I can get my weight down if needed.
I was a pretty solid finisher at the rim, though...so not like PJC. I am sure this translates from intramural...it's the same game
I can shoot with either hand around the basket with runners, and am crafty. I am also awful from 3 except the rare times I am not. A 15' is automatic...if no one is on me.
I used to be able to jump...but, really, there are enough jumpers on this team. My patented drive off hand to fade-away show, then step in and under and shoot or pass if another guy is there to block my shit down my throat is dangerous. Or was the last time I used it in a pick up game 7 years ago.
There was a time I could touch the bottom of the rim. Seriously. It was 24 years ago. Again...we have enough of that. We need point play. And I am a pure point, no combo. I will make you look better (no comment on how). I will average .3 rebounds a game, but I will get you the ball in a good position to shoot. If the really fast and big guys in D1 don't guard me. And why would they? I can't shoot from 3.
I have full eligibility, and can make most Thursday and Saturday home games, taking a half day on Thursday.
My name is not Ev.

[killervibe]

Sign me up. I have decent handle, great movement away from the ball, and am one of the leading rebounders in my Lifetime Fitness league. Not to mention, I can dribble down the court and jack up ill-advised threes without even considering a pass or dribble penetration just as frequently as Trier does it.

[dovecanyoncat]

I'm only good at free throws. I never get fouled.

[Spaceman Spiff]

Sign me up. I have decent handle, great movement away from the ball, and am one of the leading rebounders in my Lifetime Fitness league. Not to mention, I can dribble down the court and jack up ill-advised threes without even considering a pass or dribble penetration just as frequently as Trier does it.

A team from this board would completely play a Rockets style of either layups or threes. It would just have more 3's than layups and we probably don't have the same level of shooters.

One year in college, I played intramural basketball and I was one of two people who could score on my team. I utilized Kobe after Shaq left shot selection. I went for about 30-40 a game and we lost almost all the games because we had very little else and I didn't really play any D. Plus, shooting 20-30 times a game is tiring.

Incidentally, that was my only year of intramural ball.

[Chicat]

I like how this is shaping up to be an awesome ESPN E:60 or "30 for 30":

Storied National Power Arizona hits hard times after being impugned and defamed by a national sports network, loses its entire roster to early departures, transfers and de-commitments.

Where does it turn???

To its hardcore alumni fanbase of 35-55 year-old weekend warriors and two confused (very confused) 4-star recruits that Head Coach Sean MIller cobbles together to compete in 2018-19 as they finish the season 0-27 with a point differential of -67. However, they galvanize the nation and capture the hearts of millions in what is called "most pathetic spectacle ever perpetrated in modern American sports."

But do you know the rest of the story???

Tune in for a special edition of ESPN's "30 for 30" of:

I need a title.....

It's like the plot of Space Jam if the Toon Squad didn't have Jordan.

And if Bugs didn’t convince the rest of the Toons that he spiked their water with steroids.

[Phylek]

Makes me think of the story of the most lopsided college football game ever, 1916 Cumberland vs. Georgia Tech.

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/1916_Cu ... tball_game" target="_blank

Cumberland had to field a team to honor a contract, so a guy got a bunch if his frat brother's together to play #1 Georgia Tech coached by some guy named John Heisman and lost 222-0.

The kicker is that there was not a single first down by either team.

That's kind of how I see this going. We may never get past half court with the ball.

[Spaceman Spiff]

I like how this is shaping up to be an awesome ESPN E:60 or "30 for 30":

Storied National Power Arizona hits hard times after being impugned and defamed by a national sports network, loses its entire roster to early departures, transfers and de-commitments.

Where does it turn???

To its hardcore alumni fanbase of 35-55 year-old weekend warriors and two confused (very confused) 4-star recruits that Head Coach Sean MIller cobbles together to compete in 2018-19 as they finish the season 0-27 with a point differential of -67. However, they galvanize the nation and capture the hearts of millions in what is called "most pathetic spectacle ever perpetrated in modern American sports."

But do you know the rest of the story???

Tune in for a special edition of ESPN's "30 for 30" of:

I need a title.....

It's like the plot of Space Jam if the Toon Squad didn't have Jordan.

And if Bugs didn’t convince the rest of the Toons that he spiked their water with steroids.

You think Bugs got that big naturally? Come on, this is the easiest PED case since Laron Landry.

[Chicat]

Bugs was just metabolizing some body fat.

[rgdeuce]

Good shooter
Great leader
Large hands
Hates the FBI

[enfuego]

I can take PJC one on one and at 5'7, am taller than him, so I could post him up. I hate UA basketball though.

[Joethestuff]

Makes me think of the story of the most lopsided college football game ever, 1916 Cumberland vs. Georgia Tech.

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/1916_Cu ... tball_game" target="_blank

Cumberland had to field a team to honor a contract, so a guy got a bunch if his frat brother's together to play #1 Georgia Tech coached by some guy named John Heisman and lost 222-0.

The kicker is that there was not a single first down by either team.

That's kind of how I see this going. We may never get past half court with the ball.

Fuck that noise!

222 pts. is 4.8 times the highest scoring team in NCAA football in 2017....UCF at 46.8 per game

Villanova leads the nation this season at 87.2 pts per game in 2017...

There's no way our hard charging band Bear Down Wildcats Alumni team gives up 419 pts per game to anyone...

...no way we give up more than 215 a game...

[Frybry02]

6'2" on my tippie toes. 185. Streaky shooter. Known for inaccurate passes by attempting to lead 40+ olds on fast breaks and grossly overestimating their "speed." My wife's two lines she utilizes the most is "I don't want to hear about it if hurt yourself and don't forget your braces." May have some durability issues.

Great communicator:"screen left left...right right... SWITCH... Same team same team! Back screen, use me, outlet! Runner! Get mine get mine!"

I will be sure to start keeping my official stats and start my highlight reel at pickup ball Wednesday. I expect Romar soon will be visiting me once the word gets out!