Venting Thread

84Cat · Post by **84Cat** » Sat Aug 27, 2022 3:19 pm

I actually ate at the one in SLO in the late 80s while visiting a friend in Riverside. We were all pretty surprised when we walked in and realized that it was a twin to the Bum Steer

UAEebs86 · Post by **UAEebs86** » Sat Aug 27, 2022 3:29 pm

There were a bunch of Bum Steer twins. Minder Binders in Scummieville. I went to one in Santa Monica. I know Denver had one as well.

Alieberman · Post by **Alieberman** » Fri Sep 23, 2022 7:52 am

So.... I'm a little freaked out...

The other morning I was out walking my dogs and on my way back home when I walked by a house about 1 block away. In front of this house were several "Crime Scene Unit" police vehicles. That's not good. Following day I went online to look for neighborhood police reports but didn't find anything. Later that night I saw a news report of a kidnapping that happened in Phoenix... dude was taken by car and headed towards Tucson... kidnapped guy was later strangled/ killed in car. The murderer then somehow dismembered the body... his remains found somewhere in the desert in Tucson / the car and the Murderer's home... which is the house in my neighborhood. Murderer was renting this house...

I really don't know how to process this right now....

UAEebs86 · Post by **UAEebs86** » Fri Sep 23, 2022 8:11 am

What's the rent? I kid, I kid.

That's scary Ari. I've seen some snippets but didn't know the whole story. Right after we moved to Chandler in 1997 one of our neighbors got arrested for killing 2 Walmart employees when he got busted for shoplifting, and it was a really nice neighborhood. Ghetto birds were looking for him but he eventually turned himself in.

Merkin · Post by **Merkin** » Fri Sep 23, 2022 8:17 am

Remind me of then one of the posters at TOS had a murder at the apartment across the hall, or something like that. Might have been one of the twins.

EastCoastCat · Post by **EastCoastCat** » Fri Sep 23, 2022 8:37 am

Contact MrBallen...

JMarkJohns · Post by **JMarkJohns** » Fri Sep 23, 2022 9:07 am

When my folks bought their house in the mid-90s the neighborhood was full of older, original owners, and younger buyers, most in the law enforcement or teacher professions.

One of the homes was sold in 2006 and eventually was foreclosed because it was underwater. This allowed their neighborhood’s first criminal element to move in on a cheaper buy. By the time it was over, my dad was attacked by their pitbulls, the adjacent neighbor had threats called in against her, and there was a drug standoff where rival dealers set up across the street and flashed assault rifles.

They had set up a meth trailer and lab in the backyard and workshed.

I bring this up, because similarly, that family brought a car-jacking/murder case from across town to literally across the street from my folks home. This was just after I moved back from Flag. My mom called me over to look at a strange vehicle parked across the street. So I did. It matched the description of the car-Jack vehicle. So I called 9-1-1 and reported it. They set up a sting. They got the girl at the car, but she didn’t buy it, as it was given to her by her boyfriend. They still took her in. Then tried to be super quiet and try to catch the boyfriend. They messed up and the dude sprinted from house to across the street from my folks house (backyard of house the car was parked), then, as they closed in, he hopped the wall and then hopped the fence and ran through my parents backyard. I was there, shotgun in hand, protecting my niece, nephew and mom, as my dad was doing AG cases in a different county.

Thankfully the worst crap now is revved engines by their neighbors. And fireworks. But I get it, Ari. And I know this doesn’t help. But keep informed. Create a plan.

It is some pretty scary shit that close up.

dovecanyoncat · Post by **dovecanyoncat** » Fri Sep 23, 2022 9:54 am

The M̶i̶l̶l̶o̶n̶a̶i̶r̶e̶ Murderer Next Door.

Lando05 · Post by **Lando05** » Mon Sep 26, 2022 5:52 am

Just found out one of my old roomates and friend, we used to be best friends, took his own life last Friday. He is survived by his wife and 2 year old daughter. I'm just crushed. Been crying on and off since I've found out. When not crying I just feel numb. Such a tragedy.

EastCoastCat · Post by **EastCoastCat** » Mon Sep 26, 2022 6:34 am

My condolences Lando. I mentioned in the UCLA/Hill thread suicide is something that family/friends just never get over....ever. Every time I hear a story like this I think of my brother and the time my family including my parents had to go through "the nightmare." The guilt just never goes away.

It's unfathomable to most of us how anyone can get to that point, that things are so bad, but each situation is unique I suppose. I also tell anyone who will listen that don't think for one second it can't happen to your loved ones so always keep a close watch out if anyone get's overly despondent. Unfortunately, you never know.

Alieberman · Post by **Alieberman** » Mon Sep 26, 2022 7:32 am

That is so horrible Lando. I can't imagine what his family is going through.

dovecanyoncat · Post by **dovecanyoncat** » Mon Sep 26, 2022 8:57 am

I wish you peace Lando, and peace for his family.

azgreg · Post by **azgreg** » Mon Sep 26, 2022 11:16 am

Sorry for your loss Lando.

Lando05 · Post by **Lando05** » Mon Sep 26, 2022 8:21 pm

Thank everyone appreciate the support more than you know.

DrWildcat · Post by **DrWildcat** » Tue Sep 27, 2022 7:17 am

Sorry Lando! I went through it with my dad over 10 years ago now. There is not much that helps except time. Even now it is still hard every so often.

84Cat · Post by **84Cat** » Tue Sep 27, 2022 7:34 am

Sorry for your loss! May you find peace Lando!

Carcassdragger · Post by **Carcassdragger** » Tue Sep 27, 2022 9:46 am

Damn Lando. Sorry

Alieberman · Post by **Alieberman** » Thu Oct 06, 2022 7:59 am

AHHHHHHH!!!!

I can't even talk about it. Just need to vent....

AHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!

EastCoastCat · Post by **EastCoastCat** » Thu Oct 06, 2022 8:03 am

Alieberman wrote: ↑Thu Oct 06, 2022 7:59 am AHHHHHHH!!!!

I can't even talk about it. Just need to vent....

AHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!

azgreg · Post by **azgreg** » Thu Oct 06, 2022 8:16 am

Alieberman wrote: ↑Thu Oct 06, 2022 7:59 am AHHHHHHH!!!!

I can't even talk about it. Just need to vent....

AHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!

UAEebs86 · Post by **UAEebs86** » Thu Oct 06, 2022 8:23 am

azgreg wrote: ↑Thu Oct 06, 2022 8:16 am
Alieberman wrote: ↑Thu Oct 06, 2022 7:59 am AHHHHHHH!!!!

I can't even talk about it. Just need to vent....

AHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!

hang in there BDW brotha from another motha

Lando05 · Post by **Lando05** » Thu Oct 06, 2022 7:07 pm

Just attended the funeral for my friend. That was the most awkward weird vibe from his wife and the disrespect she showed to my friend and his family. I'm still trying to process.

This was a public service at a funeral home. His mother, coworkers, friends, young nieces, and former coaches in attendance. His wife had a slide show up with picture of them in sex slave outfits and gimp outfits. With him having a dog collar and dog leash that his wife was holding with nothing on but pasties covering her nipples. Im still in shock that she thought it was ok to display that stuff to that room of people.

Then at the burial she had edm music playing the whole time. She then had the get together after the burial at the house he killed himself in, she also had edm music blasting at this event.. I came to find out they had been separated for 3 months and he was going to divorce her. Yesterday just made me livid. I felt so bad for his mother, brother, and sister.

His widow was why him and i weren't as close anymore. He also had cut out his family because of her. He had just started to reconnect with his family and friends. That just made me even more sad and heartbroken after seeing his widow not even sad and playing dance music all day long. Sorry guys needed somewhere to get this out.

UAEebs86 · Post by **UAEebs86** » Thu Oct 06, 2022 7:08 pm

WTAF? So sorry she did that to your friend Lando.

84Cat · Post by **84Cat** » Thu Oct 06, 2022 7:14 pm

Shit, that sucks Lando!

dovecanyoncat · Post by **dovecanyoncat** » Thu Oct 06, 2022 7:16 pm

WTAF? ...... like the service was all about her, not him. That's just goddamned beyond everything.

Lando05 · Post by **Lando05** » Thu Oct 06, 2022 7:21 pm

When she notified his family and some close friends. She didn't text me. She simple said, "Friends name committed suicide. Don't contact me".

I'm still just like was yesterday real? Was Ashton Kutcher going to pop out of the bushes and say you all got punked.

His family especially his brother my age isn't very talkative so me and his brothers wife and sister do a lot the helping communication with friends. I was up til midnight trying to calm ppl down or try to make sense of the services. Same today spent another 2 hours on the phone.

Thank you everybody for the kind words. You have no idea how much this helps.

dovecanyoncat · Post by **dovecanyoncat** » Thu Oct 06, 2022 7:27 pm

You'll probably find out more as time goes by. Some of it may reconcile your pain and some may add to the confusion. I hope for you that truth comforts you in the end.

Merkin · Post by **Merkin** » Thu Oct 06, 2022 7:29 pm

Want to punch her in the mouth, and don't even know her, and I have never hit anyone.

Just a terrible situation you think can't get worse, and it does.

Sometimes it's best not to have a funeral.

UAEebs86 · Post by **UAEebs86** » Thu Oct 06, 2022 7:36 pm

At the memorial back in May for my best friend from grade school who took his own life, his ex-wife actually got up at the memorial and said nice words about him.

dovecanyoncat · Post by **dovecanyoncat** » Thu Oct 06, 2022 7:39 pm

Merkin wrote: ↑Thu Oct 06, 2022 7:29 pm Want to punch her in the mouth, and don't even know her, and I have never hit anyone.

Just a terrible situation you think can't get worse, and it does.

Sometimes it's best not to have a funeral.

Speaking of funerals, I'm seriously considering not attending my mother's service. She is probably in her last year of life and I, as the son more attuned to her, have been in charge of her care. The problem is that in this multi-year torment of love, along with the help of my wonderful brother, I've come to know the pettiness and selfishness of my father who will almost certainly outlive her. I'm barely on speaking terms with him at this point. Besides, funerals are for the living. I've given myself to her while she has been alive.

Lando05 · Post by **Lando05** » Thu Oct 06, 2022 7:45 pm

dovecanyoncat wrote: ↑Thu Oct 06, 2022 7:39 pm
Merkin wrote: ↑Thu Oct 06, 2022 7:29 pm Want to punch her in the mouth, and don't even know her, and I have never hit anyone.

Just a terrible situation you think can't get worse, and it does.

Sometimes it's best not to have a funeral.
Speaking of funerals, I'm seriously considering not attending my mother's service. She is probably in her last year of life and I, as the son more attuned to her, have been in charge of her care. The problem is that in this multi-year torment of love, along with the help of my wonderful brother, I've come to know the pettiness and selfishness of my father who will almost certainly outlive her. I'm barely on speaking terms with him at this point. Besides, funerals are for the living. I've given myself to her while she has been alive.

I'm sorry to hear that. You do what's best for you. Sending good vibes, virtual hug, and thoughts with you.

Merkin · Post by **Merkin** » Thu Oct 06, 2022 7:53 pm

dovecanyoncat wrote: ↑Thu Oct 06, 2022 7:39 pm
Merkin wrote: ↑Thu Oct 06, 2022 7:29 pm Want to punch her in the mouth, and don't even know her, and I have never hit anyone.

Just a terrible situation you think can't get worse, and it does.

Sometimes it's best not to have a funeral.
Speaking of funerals, I'm seriously considering not attending my mother's service. She is probably in her last year of life and I, as the son more attuned to her, have been in charge of her care. The problem is that in this multi-year torment of love, along with the help of my wonderful brother, I've come to know the pettiness and selfishness of my father who will almost certainly outlive her. I'm barely on speaking terms with him at this point. Besides, funerals are for the living. I've given myself to her while she has been alive.

My mom didn't have a funeral, and my dad probably won't either. I told my kids I don't want one, although my wife feels differently, although she doesn't want one herself.

Like you said, funerals are for the living. I have no need to attend any. Not that it matters, but I agree 100% with your decision. You have already made your peace.

wyo-cat · Post by **wyo-cat** » Thu Oct 06, 2022 8:13 pm

I lost an old rugby teammate recently. It was bad…

The only bright side was the global toast we had, telling crazy stories about the old boy. We all got tighter as a group, in memory of our lost compadre.

It was such a tragedy for his wife and kid, though.

Shit is tough Lando. Keep your chin up and rekindle some old friendships. I’m sure our recently passed friends would want it that way.

dovecanyoncat · Post by **dovecanyoncat** » Thu Oct 06, 2022 8:18 pm

Merkin wrote: ↑Thu Oct 06, 2022 7:53 pm
dovecanyoncat wrote: ↑Thu Oct 06, 2022 7:39 pm
Merkin wrote: ↑Thu Oct 06, 2022 7:29 pm Want to punch her in the mouth, and don't even know her, and I have never hit anyone.

Just a terrible situation you think can't get worse, and it does.

Sometimes it's best not to have a funeral.
Speaking of funerals, I'm seriously considering not attending my mother's service. She is probably in her last year of life and I, as the son more attuned to her, have been in charge of her care. The problem is that in this multi-year torment of love, along with the help of my wonderful brother, I've come to know the pettiness and selfishness of my father who will almost certainly outlive her. I'm barely on speaking terms with him at this point. Besides, funerals are for the living. I've given myself to her while she has been alive.

My mom didn't have a funeral, and my dad probably won't either. I told my kids I don't want one, although my wife feels differently, although she doesn't want one herself.

Like you said, funerals are for the living. I have no need to attend any. Not that it matters, but I agree 100% with your decision. You have already made your peace.

In consultation with my brother we've chosen to let the Missoula community of our family's friends plan a celebration of her life. A number of these folks have, along with my father, have tried to undermine my position as executor/legal&medical PowerOfAttorney, and it seems fitting to let them have their moment and to demonstrate scorn in absentia.

I don't mean to divert the focus from Lando's grief, but life is fucking bizarre. Its wonder and depravity .... in my life and in others' .... continues to amaze me, and I ain't no fresh-faced shitling. When I'm in my 90s, the age of my parents, I wonder what the face of agony will look like.

Alieberman · Post by **Alieberman** » Fri Oct 07, 2022 6:53 am

Lando-

That is beyond disgraceful. I’m livid and I have no connection

I don’t know if it would help- but would a 2nd smaller gathering help those of you get some sort of closure?

Lando05 · Post by **Lando05** » Fri Oct 07, 2022 8:01 am

Alieberman wrote: ↑Fri Oct 07, 2022 6:53 am Lando-

That is beyond disgraceful. I’m livid and I have no connection

I don’t know if it would help- but would a 2nd smaller gathering help those of you get some sort of closure?

Thank you Alieberman. Yes his brother and sister in law are going to hold a little get together Saturday without his wife and her tyde eye gang of friends. I'm really looking forward to that.

scumdevils86 · Post by **scumdevils86** » Fri Oct 07, 2022 8:33 am

JFC. I'm sorry that happened. What a fucked up situation for everyone.

Osborn · Post by **Osborn** » Fri Oct 07, 2022 10:04 am

Fucking horrible, Lando. Don't let the swells of grief drown you. Try to find some peace. Take a hike or walk somewhere peaceful and beautiful with the ones you love and share the memories of the good times with your friend.

dovecanyoncat · Post by **dovecanyoncat** » Sat Oct 08, 2022 9:46 pm

Had a close call today on the 89A highway between Sedona and Cottonwood. Speed limit 65 and some shiteater in a longbed 1-ton barrels by doing 75-80mph with so many tires piled in his bed that the stack was easily 6' above the cab. There was one tie-down run across the middle of the load, and we could see many tires at the top of the pile completely unsecured. I slow down as he pulls into our lane and my wife gets nervous. Sure enough, with about 100' between us two tires fly out into our lane. Cars on all sides and a tourist mini-bus right behind us. Got past those and another flies out into our lane. Dude was completely oblivious.

I bet that dickhead got to his Let's Go Brandon rally and decided some Mexican had stolen his missing tires.

84Cat · Post by **84Cat** » Tue Oct 18, 2022 1:36 pm

My wife went to get a colonoscopy which our insurance says they cover. We end up getting charged around $2500 for it. Why? Because they found some polyps, they say it was diagnostic & not preventive care so we have to pay. WTF is insurance for then?

UAEebs86 · Post by **UAEebs86** » Tue Oct 18, 2022 1:48 pm

84Cat wrote: ↑Tue Oct 18, 2022 1:36 pm My wife went to get a colonoscopy which our insurance says they cover. We end up getting charged around $2500 for it. Why? Because they found some polyps, they say it was diagnostic & not preventive care so we have to pay. WTF is insurance for then?

Complete bullshit. Hope you get them to reverse that 84.

dovecanyoncat · Post by **dovecanyoncat** » Tue Oct 18, 2022 2:28 pm

If they removed the polyps during the procedure there should be a code specific to that procedure which, I would argue, is the only portion of the colonoscopy that would in any way qualify as different than SOP. Get the codes and hold their feet to the fire.

ASSHOLES!

Merkin · Post by **Merkin** » Tue Oct 18, 2022 3:21 pm

84Cat wrote: ↑Tue Oct 18, 2022 1:36 pm My wife went to get a colonoscopy which our insurance says they cover. We end up getting charged around $2500 for it. Why? Because they found some polyps, they say it was diagnostic & not preventive care so we have to pay. WTF is insurance for then?

My last two colonoscopies the insurance rejected anesthesia for the procedure. Had to fight them both times to get it covered, and the 2nd time had to escalate, since my first appeal was rejected by the MD reviewing it.

Eventually they covered both, so keep fighting.

pc in NM · Post by **pc in NM** » Wed Oct 19, 2022 11:53 am

dovecanyoncat wrote: ↑Tue Oct 18, 2022 2:28 pm If they removed the polyps during the procedure there should be a code specific to that procedure which, I would argue, is the only portion of the colonoscopy that would in any way qualify as different than SOP. Get the codes and hold their feet to the fire.

ASSHOLES!

Had same experience a decade ago when private insurance screwed me!!

When I told the doc in follow-up visit, he was very sympathetic. He also explained that to remove the polyps, he had to remove the probe, exchange a piece that cost about $15.00, and add about five minutes to the entire procedure.

Mine changed from a copay of $250 to a bill for ~$5000.00!!! I could cover it, but any support staff, non-degreed/non-licensed staff where I worked would have been screwed big-time!!! Really pissed me off!!!

MEDICARE FOR ALL!!!!!

Post by **UAdevil** » Wed Oct 19, 2022 5:17 pm

Yup. My screening in May ran me $4k...

azgreg · Post by **azgreg** » Fri Oct 21, 2022 4:54 pm

Just made my property tax payment for my property up north. That's $42.76 I'm not getting back.

CatsbyAZ · Post by **CatsbyAZ** » Tue Nov 01, 2022 2:26 pm

Having to go to the dentist has the reputation of a bad enough experience as it is, but do we talk enough about how bad dealing with the dentist as a business is?

I try to go to the dentist when I'm supposed to but there's gaps in my record. When the gaps are long enough, mostly because of overseas work, they want to redo X-Rays, etc. Fine, but where I've been burned is one particular office billing me everything after they said they could take my insurance. Never went back.

So in getting around to a new dentist, I did my homework to ensure through the office manager that my insurance was onboard with what they would cover - about half. During my dental work, new work was required, which also required additional follow up visits. They again worked with my insurance to agree to what would be covered before the work was completed. Fine. I paid the rest of the outstanding charges with a credit card.

But then, a month later, I start getting bills from this office, over $300 worth, stating they'd "combed" through my account and discovered "unpaid procedures." How (?), I ask. Everything they wanted to do was laid out beforehand. Not going back to these guys either.

Only 40% of the adult population goes to the dentist at least once a year. Most of it's because of lack of insurance but for the smaller percentage who do put in the effort to try to go to the dentist, the bad-faith billing that goes on adds to the generally discomforting experience of being at the dentist in the first place.

dovecanyoncat · Post by **dovecanyoncat** » Thu Nov 10, 2022 11:56 am

Had my flu shot planned for today, but Tuesday night I came down with something. Feel like hammered shit.

Carcassdragger · Post by **Carcassdragger** » Thu Nov 10, 2022 5:09 pm

dovecanyoncat wrote: ↑Thu Nov 10, 2022 11:56 am Had my flu shot planned for today, but Tuesday night I came down with something. Feel like hammered shit.

Hope you feel better Dove. FWIW, I have some acquaintances who've recently tested positive for covid

As a thrice vaccinated person and someone who was taken out for a few days by the omicron variant, I'm interested how it goes for you. No 4th vaccine for me yet, but thinking about getting it.

I always get the flu vaccine, but haven't done it for this winter yet.

azgreg · Post by **azgreg** » Thu Dec 08, 2022 8:19 pm

Car shopping sucks.

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