Guys

mytwocents · Post by **mytwocents** » Mon Feb 02, 2015 2:54 pm

This will be a thread where us girl BDWs can solicit advice from, bitch about, and on the rare occasion, praise, GUYS. K?

First up:

Guys...Fuck you

Olsondogg · Post by **Olsondogg** » Mon Feb 02, 2015 2:55 pm

I'm sure they'll be a line forming for that...

mytwocents · Post by **mytwocents** » Mon Feb 02, 2015 2:56 pm

Olsondogg wrote:I'm sure they'll be a line forming for that...

Don't fuck with me today...I'm on a rampage

azgreg · Post by **azgreg** » Mon Feb 02, 2015 2:59 pm

the real dill · Post by **the real dill** » Mon Feb 02, 2015 3:03 pm

Olsondogg · Post by **Olsondogg** » Mon Feb 02, 2015 3:05 pm

the real dill wrote:

Fairly certain the dude at the bottom of that is full-on stroking...

mytwocents · Post by **mytwocents** » Mon Feb 02, 2015 3:11 pm

azgreg wrote:

Nope...not this time.

mytwocents · Post by **mytwocents** » Mon Feb 02, 2015 3:13 pm

the real dill wrote:

If I were smart and didn't like a certain thing so much...I would absolutely go this route. And by certain thing I clearly mean being treated like I'm not worthy of attention

Alieberman · Post by **Alieberman** » Mon Feb 02, 2015 3:16 pm

Sounds like someone needs some rally tits.

mytwocents · Post by **mytwocents** » Mon Feb 02, 2015 3:17 pm

Alieberman wrote:Sounds like someone needs some rally tits.

I looked in the mirror...it didn't help

Merkin · Post by **Merkin** » Mon Feb 02, 2015 3:18 pm

Was this the guy that taught you a new position?

I have been telling my daughter since she was 5 years old that guys are jerks. She finally did find a nice one though and latched onto him quick.

I have also been telling my sons that women are evil, and have yet to disprove either of my theories in all my years.

mytwocents · Post by **mytwocents** » Mon Feb 02, 2015 3:38 pm

Merkin wrote:Was this the guy that taught you a new position?

I have been telling my daughter since she was 5 years old that guys are jerks. She finally did find a nice one though and latched onto him quick.

I have also been telling my sons that women are evil, and have yet to disprove either of my theories in all my years.

Yea....it is.

Women are not evil...we may be crazy (I like to call it committed) but at the end of the day, I'm pretty sure it's in our nature to want to make men happy & be praised for it. Pretty sure it's in mens nature to want to maximize their potential happiness ceiling with no fear of the consequences.

Alieberman · Post by **Alieberman** » Mon Feb 02, 2015 3:43 pm

mytwocents wrote:
Alieberman wrote:Sounds like someone needs some rally tits.
I looked in the mirror...it didn't help

I think it only works if you post pics to a message board.

mytwocents · Post by **mytwocents** » Mon Feb 02, 2015 3:45 pm

Alieberman wrote:
mytwocents wrote:
Alieberman wrote:Sounds like someone needs some rally tits.
I looked in the mirror...it didn't help
I think it only works if you post pics to a message board.

I think we all know those things are precious to this board and shall only be used in times of need for our Cats...RESPECT THE POWER .... or something...

Merkin · Post by **Merkin** » Mon Feb 02, 2015 3:47 pm

mytwocents wrote:
Merkin wrote:Was this the guy that taught you a new position?

I have been telling my daughter since she was 5 years old that guys are jerks. She finally did find a nice one though and latched onto him quick.

I have also been telling my sons that women are evil, and have yet to disprove either of my theories in all my years.
Yea....it is.

Women are not evil...we may be crazy (I like to call it committed) but at the end of the day, I'm pretty sure it's in our nature to want to make men happy & be praised for it. Pretty sure it's in mens nature to want to maximize their potential happiness ceiling with no fear of the consequences.

That is true about treating men well. I was thinking more that women are really more nasty to each other than they are to men. Seen it is my kids' elementary school, and even in my mother in law's nursing home. 80 year women are and just like 3rd grade girls. It never changes.

Daryl Zero · Post by **Daryl Zero** » Mon Feb 02, 2015 3:50 pm

On behalf of all men: Sorry for whatever I, err, he did.

Olsondogg · Post by **Olsondogg** » Mon Feb 02, 2015 3:52 pm

I have a wife who is raging with pregnancy hormones. I'm afraid I don't have any more empty apologies for nothing I did, left.

Sorry.

ASUHATER! · Post by **ASUHATER!** » Mon Feb 02, 2015 3:52 pm

mytwocents wrote:
Merkin wrote:Was this the guy that taught you a new position?

I have been telling my daughter since she was 5 years old that guys are jerks. She finally did find a nice one though and latched onto him quick.

I have also been telling my sons that women are evil, and have yet to disprove either of my theories in all my years.
Yea....it is.

Women are not evil...we may be crazy (I like to call it committed) but at the end of the day, I'm pretty sure it's in our nature to want to make men happy & be praised for it. Pretty sure it's in mens nature to want to maximize their potential happiness ceiling with no fear of the consequences.

No...women are pretty evil. Worse than guys in a lot of ways with certain standards and behaviors towards the opposite sex.

mytwocents · Post by **mytwocents** » Mon Feb 02, 2015 3:54 pm

Merkin wrote:
mytwocents wrote:
Merkin wrote:Was this the guy that taught you a new position?

I have been telling my daughter since she was 5 years old that guys are jerks. She finally did find a nice one though and latched onto him quick.

I have also been telling my sons that women are evil, and have yet to disprove either of my theories in all my years.
Yea....it is.

Women are not evil...we may be crazy (I like to call it committed) but at the end of the day, I'm pretty sure it's in our nature to want to make men happy & be praised for it. Pretty sure it's in mens nature to want to maximize their potential happiness ceiling with no fear of the consequences.
That is true about treating men well. I was thinking more that women are really more nasty to each other than they are to men. Seen it is my kids' elementary school, and even in my mother in law's nursing home. 80 year women are and just like 3rd grade girls. It never changes.

WTF my post didn't post....

What I had said was...

Yes, I think that women are much more likely to treat other women who don't deserve it, like shit, long before they'd do the same to a man who deserves it x100000

Chicat · Post by **Chicat** » Mon Feb 02, 2015 3:56 pm

Olsondogg wrote:I have a wife who is raging with pregnancy hormones. I'm afraid I don't have any more empty apologies for nothing I did, left.

Sorry.

You better restock in a hurry. Post-partum is coming.

As for guys, we're pretty simple creatures. Once you figure out the one thing that drives us, stick to it and we'll never look back.

mytwocents · Post by **mytwocents** » Mon Feb 02, 2015 3:57 pm

Daryl Zero wrote:On behalf of all men: Sorry for whatever I, err, he did.

Thank you. Unfortunately that only counts for you but I can appreciate you trying to take one for the team.

ASUHATER! wrote:No...women are pretty evil. Worse than guys in a lot of ways with certain standards and behaviors towards the opposite sex.

No way. Especially based on my theory which I believe to be true

mytwocents · Post by **mytwocents** » Mon Feb 02, 2015 3:58 pm

Chicat wrote:
Olsondogg wrote:I have a wife who is raging with pregnancy hormones. I'm afraid I don't have any more empty apologies for nothing I did, left.

Sorry.
You better restock in a hurry. Post-partum is coming.

As for guys, we're pretty simple creatures. Once you figure out the one thing that drives us, stick to it and we'll never look back.

So every guy is driven by something different?

Chicat · Post by **Chicat** » Mon Feb 02, 2015 4:00 pm

mytwocents wrote:
Chicat wrote:
Olsondogg wrote:I have a wife who is raging with pregnancy hormones. I'm afraid I don't have any more empty apologies for nothing I did, left.

Sorry.
You better restock in a hurry. Post-partum is coming.

As for guys, we're pretty simple creatures. Once you figure out the one thing that drives us, stick to it and we'll never look back.
So every guy is driven by something different?

Yes dear. We're not that simple.

Olsondogg · Post by **Olsondogg** » Mon Feb 02, 2015 4:02 pm

Chicat wrote:
Olsondogg wrote:I have a wife who is raging with pregnancy hormones. I'm afraid I don't have any more empty apologies for nothing I did, left.

Sorry.
You better restock in a hurry. Post-partum is coming.

As for guys, we're pretty simple creatures. Once you figure out the one thing that drives us, stick to it and we'll never look back.

Day by day, Chi.

Day by day.

mytwocents · Post by **mytwocents** » Mon Feb 02, 2015 4:03 pm

Chicat wrote:
mytwocents wrote:
Chicat wrote:
Olsondogg wrote:I have a wife who is raging with pregnancy hormones. I'm afraid I don't have any more empty apologies for nothing I did, left.

Sorry.
You better restock in a hurry. Post-partum is coming.

As for guys, we're pretty simple creatures. Once you figure out the one thing that drives us, stick to it and we'll never look back.
So every guy is driven by something different?
Yes dear. We're not that simple.

Power...in some form or another....Plain & simple

Olsondogg · Post by **Olsondogg** » Mon Feb 02, 2015 4:04 pm

Look, I know women don’t understand men. There are women looking at me right now and wonder what goes on in that little brain of his. I bet you I can manipulate that brain. I bet you, you could. I bet you women would like t to know what men are really thinking. The truth! The honest truth of what men are thinking? Cause I could tell you! Would you like to know?

I’ll tell you.

Nothing.

We’re not thinking anything. We’re just walking around, looking around. This is the only natural inclination of men. We just kind of check stuff out. We work cause they force us to, but other than that this is the only thing we really want to do.

We like women. We want women. But that’s pretty much as far as we’ve thought. That’s why we’re honking car horns, yelling from construction sites, these are the best ideas we’ve had so far.

mytwocents · Post by **mytwocents** » Mon Feb 02, 2015 4:05 pm

Olsondogg wrote:
Chicat wrote:
Olsondogg wrote:I have a wife who is raging with pregnancy hormones. I'm afraid I don't have any more empty apologies for nothing I did, left.

Sorry.
You better restock in a hurry. Post-partum is coming.

As for guys, we're pretty simple creatures. Once you figure out the one thing that drives us, stick to it and we'll never look back.

Day by day, Chi.

Day by day.

Well I've never been preggers but I've most certainly been hormonal & I know you think you didn't do anything, but you probably did...even if it was that you turned off a light switch with your left hand instead of your right one...

Chicat · Post by **Chicat** » Mon Feb 02, 2015 4:06 pm

Love Seinfeld. And he's right.

mytwocents · Post by **mytwocents** » Mon Feb 02, 2015 4:08 pm

Olsondogg wrote:Look, I know women don’t understand men. There are women looking at me right now and wonder what goes on in that little brain of his. I bet you I can manipulate that brain. I bet you, you could. I bet you women would like t to know what men are really thinking. The truth! The honest truth of what men are thinking? Cause I could tell you! Would you like to know?

I’ll tell you.

Nothing.

We’re not thinking anything. We’re just walking around, looking around. This is the only natural inclination of men. We just kind of check stuff out. We work cause they force us to, but other than that this is the only thing we really want to do.

We like women. We want women. But that’s pretty much as far as we’ve thought. That’s why we’re honking car horns, yelling from construction sites, these are the best ideas we’ve had so far.

I wish I could believe that and be done with it...but it simply can not be true because when you have a woman who does anything you want her to do then you say, 'well guys don't like girls who don't give them a challenge'...so that's clue #1

Olsondogg · Post by **Olsondogg** » Mon Feb 02, 2015 4:12 pm

mytwocents wrote:
Olsondogg wrote:
Chicat wrote:
Olsondogg wrote:I have a wife who is raging with pregnancy hormones. I'm afraid I don't have any more empty apologies for nothing I did, left.

Sorry.
You better restock in a hurry. Post-partum is coming.

As for guys, we're pretty simple creatures. Once you figure out the one thing that drives us, stick to it and we'll never look back.

Day by day, Chi.

Day by day.
Well I've never been preggers but I've most certainly been hormonal & I know you think you didn't do anything, but you probably did...even if it was that you turned off a light switch with your left hand instead of your right one...

I did do something, you're right. I painted the headboard the color that she wanted. But the color did not match the paint on the walls that she liked.

My bad. I clearly should have told her they didn't match...when she was picking out the colors.

Although that would basically be "suicide by wife".

So really I just said, "Yeah I don't know what I was thinking".

And now the color (that I chose btw) matches, and all is good for now.

Chicat · Post by **Chicat** » Mon Feb 02, 2015 4:16 pm

No guy wants a doormat. Especially since "whatever you want" is just as annoying as "I'm getting what I want".

You have to be like the girl Eddie Murphy falls in love with in Coming to America. Nice, agreeable, but have your own ideas for your life and go after your goals, personally and otherwise. The chick jumping up and down on one leg barking like a dog is not going to get a guy that values her.

Merkin · Post by **Merkin** » Mon Feb 02, 2015 4:17 pm

Speaking of Seinfeld:

Chicat wrote: As for guys, we're pretty simple creatures. Once you figure out the one thing that drives us, stick to it and we'll never look back.

Women say they have sexual thoughts too. They have no idea. It's the difference between shooting a bullet and throwing it. If they knew what we were really thinking, they'd never stop slapping us. - Larry Miller

mytwocents · Post by **mytwocents** » Mon Feb 02, 2015 4:21 pm

Olsondogg wrote: I did do something, you're right. I painted the headboard the color that she wanted. But the color did not match the paint on the walls that she liked.

My bad. I clearly should have told her they didn't match...when she was picking out the colors.

Although that would basically be "suicide by wife".

So really I just said, "Yeah I don't know what I was thinking".

And now the color (that I chose btw) matches, and all is good for now.

OK...on behalf of women I say thank you for owning up to your mistake and fixing it.

Olsondogg · Post by **Olsondogg** » Mon Feb 02, 2015 4:22 pm

I say that to my wife all the time. If she only knew my thoughts, she'd file for divorce...and I'm one of the good guys.

I'd pray to the god I don't believe in that she's not pregnant with a daughter...but it wont matter. If she has a girl, I'll never sleep again...

Guys suck. I agree with M2C

mytwocents · Post by **mytwocents** » Mon Feb 02, 2015 4:23 pm

Chicat wrote:No guy wants a doormat. Especially since "whatever you want" is just as annoying as "I'm getting what I want".

You have to be like the girl Eddie Murphy falls in love with in Coming to America. Nice, agreeable, but have your own ideas for your life and go after your goals, personally and otherwise. The chick jumping up and down on one leg barking like a dog is not going to get a guy that values her.

Considering my last name, that Coming to America quote hits home....

mytwocents · Post by **mytwocents** » Mon Feb 02, 2015 4:27 pm

Olsondogg wrote:I say that to my wife all the time. If she only knew my thoughts, she'd file for divorce...and I'm one of the good guys.

I'd pray to the god I don't believe in that she's not pregnant with a daughter...but it wont matter. If she has a girl, I'll never sleep again...

Guys suck. I agree with M2C

Honest to G-D I don't care what deviant sexual thoughts are in the minds of guys...mostly because despite what guys, including Larry David, think, our thoughts on that subject are so much worse...as long as the guy I'm with/married to lets me in to some of those thoughts and doesn't try make up for it by doing something you think isn't as bad in order to get some of that guilt off your chest, then we're good

ghostwhitehorse · Post by **ghostwhitehorse** » Mon Feb 02, 2015 4:32 pm

Ummm. . . mtc. . . what definition of suck are you using? Because there is definition that happens to mean a quite fun thing really. . .

mytwocents · Post by **mytwocents** » Mon Feb 02, 2015 4:34 pm

ghostwhitehorse wrote:Ummm. . . mtc. . . what definition of suck are you using? Because there is definition that happens to mean a quite fun thing really. . .

Just trust me when I tell you that I would never suggest that suck....sucks....

Olsondogg · Post by **Olsondogg** » Mon Feb 02, 2015 4:35 pm

mytwocents wrote:
Olsondogg wrote:I say that to my wife all the time. If she only knew my thoughts, she'd file for divorce...and I'm one of the good guys.

I'd pray to the god I don't believe in that she's not pregnant with a daughter...but it wont matter. If she has a girl, I'll never sleep again...

Guys suck. I agree with M2C
Honest to G-D I don't care what deviant sexual thoughts are in the minds of guys...mostly because despite what guys, including Larry David, think, our thoughts on that subject are so much worse...as long as the guy I'm with/married to lets me in to some of those thoughts and doesn't try make up for it by doing something you think isn't as bad in order to get some of that guilt off your chest, then we're good

Oh you have no idea.

Good luck to you though...

mytwocents · Post by **mytwocents** » Mon Feb 02, 2015 4:40 pm

Olsondogg wrote: Oh you have no idea.

Good luck to you though...

While hearing something 'out loud' may initially be jarring...I promise you that there is not one thing that hasn't gone through my head. Now there may be a lot of stuff that sounds stupid and pointless but I'm willing to bet that %99.9 of the things that go through that head of yours have passed through mine.

84Cat · Post by **84Cat** » Mon Feb 02, 2015 4:59 pm

Chicat wrote:No guy wants a doormat. Especially since "whatever you want" is just as annoying as "I'm getting what I want".

You have to be like the girl Eddie Murphy falls in love with in Coming to America. Nice, agreeable, but have your own ideas for your life and go after your goals, personally and otherwise. The chick jumping up and down on one leg barking like a dog is not going to get a guy that values her.

This right here. And my 1 piece of advice, find a giver not a taker. It really can be that simple. You can usually figure that one out in bed.

ASUCatFan · Post by **ASUCatFan** » Mon Feb 02, 2015 6:00 pm

Women are not evil...

I'd introduce you to my ex wife if I still talked to her...

mytwocents · Post by **mytwocents** » Mon Feb 02, 2015 6:08 pm

ASUCatFan wrote:
Women are not evil...
I'd introduce you to my ex wife if I still talked to her...

Well I'm sure whatever you did...deep down she'll eventually forgive you.

UofACat23 · Post by **UofACat23** » Mon Feb 02, 2015 7:39 pm

This might sound crazy... but I don't think it's possible to make any broad generalizations about people and how they think based solely on their gender.

PieceOfMeat · Post by **PieceOfMeat** » Mon Feb 02, 2015 7:51 pm

so what'd the guy do to you MTC?

UAEebs86 · Post by **UAEebs86** » Mon Feb 02, 2015 7:55 pm

"Ooo, I wish I knew, what he was really thinking"
Ladies I will tell you, what we're really thinking:

We're really thinking, I'd like a beer and I'd like to see something naked.
That's all we're thinking

-Jeff Foxworthy

Longhorned · Post by **Longhorned** » Mon Feb 02, 2015 8:02 pm

I'm writing a book about ancient priests who disrobed virgin priestesses and scourged them with a birch rod, and then how the priestesses took the blood of a sacrificed horse, then burned the still-living calf from a pregnant cow and mixed its ashes with the dried horse blood to sprinkle over the fire. And then how the king wore a penis sheath and ran vigorously around the boundary stones. And he could... go... all... the... way! I'm not sure where that puts my thoughts on gender.

azgreg · Post by **azgreg** » Mon Feb 02, 2015 8:05 pm

Longhorned wrote:I'm writing a book about ancient priests who disrobed virgin priestesses and scourged them with a birch rod, and then how the priestesses took the blood of a sacrificed horse, then burned the still-living calf from a pregnant cow and mixed its ashes with the dried horse blood to sprinkle over the fire. And then how the king wore a penis sheath and ran vigorously around the boundary stones. And he could... go... all... the... way! I'm not sure where that puts my thoughts on gender.

Love a good love story.

Chicat · Post by **Chicat** » Mon Feb 02, 2015 8:07 pm

UofACat23 wrote:This might sound crazy... but I don't think it's possible to make any broad generalizations about people and how they think based solely on their gender.

I'm not making any generalizations about broads!

Also, I don't believe they like being referred to by that name. Try "women", "females", or "slampigs" instead.

CalStateTempe · Post by **CalStateTempe** » Mon Feb 02, 2015 8:09 pm

Chicat wrote:
Olsondogg wrote:I have a wife who is raging with pregnancy hormones. I'm afraid I don't have any more empty apologies for nothing I did, left.

Sorry.
You better restock in a hurry. Post-partum is coming.

As for guys, we're pretty simple creatures. Once you figure out the one thing that drives us, stick to it and we'll never look back.

OMG...that period sucked...

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