Sometimes ya just gotta laugh...

Chicat · Post by **Chicat** » Sat Jan 30, 2021 12:53 pm

My 8-year-old just told us this joke and he has no clue why at the end his mother gasped and his father choked on his drink...

“What’s Jesus Christ’s favorite workout?”
“CrossFit”

dovecanyoncat · Post by **dovecanyoncat** » Sat Jan 30, 2021 1:09 pm

LMMFAO!

scumdevils86 · Post by **scumdevils86** » Sat Jan 30, 2021 1:43 pm

Good on him

Chicat · Post by **Chicat** » Sat Jan 30, 2021 2:07 pm

Can’t wait until he tells that one at school.

UAEebs86 · Post by **UAEebs86** » Mon Feb 01, 2021 12:31 pm

Chicat · Post by **Chicat** » Mon Feb 01, 2021 6:04 pm

catgrad97 · Post by **catgrad97** » Fri Feb 19, 2021 8:27 am

Chicat · Post by **Chicat** » Thu Apr 01, 2021 9:35 pm

Chicat · Post by **Chicat** » Sat Apr 10, 2021 5:25 pm

ASUHATER! · Post by **ASUHATER!** » Sat Apr 10, 2021 5:28 pm

Not sure why the existing recipe would use sriracha and not gojuchang already though...

84Cat · Post by **84Cat** » Mon Apr 12, 2021 1:20 pm

wyo-cat · Post by **wyo-cat** » Mon Apr 12, 2021 1:43 pm

Why???

Her car almost got hit!

Merkin · Post by **Merkin** » Tue Apr 13, 2021 8:35 pm

Chicat · Post by **Chicat** » Sat Apr 17, 2021 8:38 pm

84Cat · Post by **84Cat** » Fri Apr 30, 2021 10:51 am

Watch to the end

Chicat · Post by **Chicat** » Mon May 24, 2021 10:13 am

dovecanyoncat · Post by **dovecanyoncat** » Sun Jun 06, 2021 7:52 pm

Woman in the audience: "What is your favorite sexual position?"
Eric Idle: "The married male position: flat on your back with your wallet wide open."

Merkin · Post by **Merkin** » Thu Jun 17, 2021 12:16 pm

Chicat · Post by **Chicat** » Thu Jun 17, 2021 8:01 pm

I am literally crying right now.

UAEebs86 · Post by **UAEebs86** » Fri Jun 25, 2021 8:19 am

Chicat · Post by **Chicat** » Fri Jun 25, 2021 8:31 am

Math is hard.

84Cat · Post by **84Cat** » Mon Jul 05, 2021 3:25 pm

UAEebs86 · Post by **UAEebs86** » Wed Jul 07, 2021 10:04 am

84Cat · Post by **84Cat** » Thu Jul 22, 2021 5:08 pm

Merkin · Post by **Merkin** » Sat Aug 21, 2021 7:37 am

dovecanyoncat · Post by **dovecanyoncat** » Sat Aug 21, 2021 8:10 am

She's of the age at which she hates you regardless. Might as well have fun with it.

Chicat · Post by **Chicat** » Sun Aug 22, 2021 12:12 pm

Chicat · Post by **Chicat** » Sat Aug 28, 2021 7:38 am

Merkin · Post by **Merkin** » Tue Aug 31, 2021 12:51 am

U.P. Zona Fan · Post by **U.P. Zona Fan** » Tue Aug 31, 2021 7:26 am

I'm on our school board,

I don't think I could keep it together if that list of names was called for public comment. Good thing we don't videotape our meetings.

Chicat · Post by **Chicat** » Thu Oct 07, 2021 11:56 am

This Twitter thread is fucking amazing.

dovecanyoncat · Post by **dovecanyoncat** » Thu Oct 07, 2021 12:16 pm

The Insurance Deductible of the Edmond Fitzgerald?

You working Chi?

Chicat · Post by **Chicat** » Thu Oct 07, 2021 12:55 pm

dovecanyoncat wrote: ↑Thu Oct 07, 2021 12:16 pm The Insurance Deductible of the Edmond Fitzgerald?

You working Chi?

Not at the moment!

dovecanyoncat · Post by **dovecanyoncat** » Thu Oct 14, 2021 6:45 pm

A joke stolen from National Zero:

A man walking along a California beach was deep in prayer.

All of a sudden, he said out loud "Lord, grant me one wish".

Suddenly the sky clouded above his head and in a booming voice the Lord said "Because you have tried to be faithful to me in all ways, I will grant you one wish". The man said "Build a bridge to Hawaii so I can drive over anytime I want".

The Lord said "Your request is very materialistic. Think of the enormous challenges for that kind of undertaking. The supports that would be required to reach the bottom of the Pacific! The concrete and steel it would take! I can do it, but it is hard for me to justify your desire for worldly things. Take a little more time and think of another wish, a wish you think would honour and glorify Me".

The man thought about it for a long time.

Finally, he said "Lord, I wish that I could understand women. I want to know how they feel inside, what they are thinking when they give me the silent treatment, why they cry, what they mean when they say 'nothing', and how I can make a woman truly happy".

The Lord replied "You want two lanes or four on that bridge?"

Chicat · Post by **Chicat** » Wed Nov 17, 2021 7:16 am

UAEebs86 · Post by **UAEebs86** » Sat Nov 20, 2021 7:18 am

dovecanyoncat · Post by **dovecanyoncat** » Mon Dec 20, 2021 7:07 pm

Because George Carlin: https://www.azquotes.com/author/2470-George_Carlin?p=6

"America was founded by slave owners who wanted to be free men."

"The violence of the Left is symbolic, the injuries are not intended. The violence of the Right is real - directed at people, designed to cause injuries. Vietnam, nuclear weapons, police out of control are intentional forms of violence. The violence from the Right is aimed directly at people and the violence from the Left is aimed at institutions and symbols."

"I like Florida. Everything is in the 80s. The temperatures, the ages and the IQ's."

"Conservatives say if you don't give the rich more money, they will lose their incentive to invest. As for the poor, they tell us they've lost all incentive because we've given them too much money."

"Religion is like a pair of shoes.....Find one that fits for you, but don't make me wear your shoes."

azgreg · Post by **azgreg** » Wed Dec 29, 2021 11:32 am

UAEebs86 · Post by **UAEebs86** » Fri Dec 31, 2021 5:48 pm

dovecanyoncat · Post by **dovecanyoncat** » Sat Jan 01, 2022 9:38 am

From Betty White:

“Get at least eight hours of beauty sleep, nine if you’re ugly.”

“Why do people say, ‘Grow some balls’? Balls are weak and sensitive.

If you really wanna get tough, grow a vagina. Those things really take a pounding!”

“People have told me that Facebook is a great way to keep in touch with old friends. At my age, if I wanted to keep in touch with old friends, I’d need a ouija board.”

When Johnny Carson asked Betty White what she does in her free time, she replied, “Ummm, well, vodka is a hobby.”

What she did for exercise: “I have a two-story house and a very bad memory, so I’m up and down those stairs.”

“My mother always used to say, ‘The older you get, the better you get. Unless you’re a banana.’”

“Butterflies are like women — we may look pretty and delicate, but baby, we can fly through a hurricane.”

While portraying the sexually voracious Sue Ann Nivens on “The Mary Tyler Moore Show,” she declared, “a woman who does a good job in the kitchen is sure to reap her rewards in other parts of the house.”

“My answer to anything under the sun, like ‘What have you not done in the business that you’ve always wanted to do?’ is ‘Robert Redford’.”

azgreg · Post by **azgreg** » Fri Jan 07, 2022 8:13 pm

Chicat · Post by **Chicat** » Fri Jan 07, 2022 9:47 pm

Chicat · Post by **Chicat** » Tue Jan 11, 2022 10:32 pm

scumdevils86 · Post by **scumdevils86** » Tue Jan 11, 2022 10:49 pm

Isn't drake the guy who hits up teenagers for sex

Chicat · Post by **Chicat** » Wed Jan 12, 2022 5:49 am

Not that I know of…

azgreg · Post by **azgreg** » Wed Jan 12, 2022 6:14 am

https://www.vice.com/en/article/bjaz83/ ... -man-phase

So let’s just cut right to the chase: Drake is reportedly dating a teenager.

The 31-year-old rapper, who has often been linked to more age appropriate women, including Jennifer Lopez, was recently seen dining with 18-year-old model Bella Harris in Washington, DC, according to Page Six. A photo on Harris’ Instagram feed shows the pair embracing somewhat awkwardly (Drake is giving off a handsy uncle vibe), with the caption “no place I’d rather be .”

Chicat · Post by **Chicat** » Wed Jan 12, 2022 6:47 am

“Hits up teenagers for sex” is different than “is dating an adult”.

UAEebs86 · Post by **UAEebs86** » Wed Jan 12, 2022 6:48 am

Still a little creepy when you are in your 30's and it's close enough that you have to ask for ID to see if she's legal.

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