Bear Down Wildcats

10 SERIOUS FACTS ABOUT POOPING

http://www.mandatory.com/2014/03/25/10- ... t-pooping/

The one time I tried squatting it felt completely wrong and unnatural. Felt like it did the opposite that diagram.

A popular pose for visitors to sites with well-preserved ancient toilets. But the straining-face act only makes sense with the seated pose. Romans squatted. That's what they're designed for.

Longhorned wrote:

A popular pose for visitors to sites with well-preserved ancient toilets. But the straining-face act only makes sense with the seated pose. Romans squatted. That's what they're designed for.

Yes, I remember this style in some Italian train stations. Maybe it was Spain.

Anyway, I came across this sitting vs. squatting information a couple of weeks ago. Makes a certain amount of sense I suppose assuming the anatomy and physiology presented is correct - I've no idea really. Rather than squatting on the toilet rim, which given my stout frame would've likely caused a plumbing emergency, I modified the position by placing the kid's footstool under my feet so as to raise my knees up into a squat-like position while actually still sitting on the can. Results were indeed immediate. I don't know that production was increased per se, but production was definitely expedited. Perhaps production was more thorough. I can't be sure. Then last weekend I had the opportunity to shit in the woods while camping. Dug a cat hole and positioned my ass down hill with the slope over said cat hole and squatted. Again, immediate results. Seemingly very thorough. On the other hand, you have to consider that it was dark in the woods and I wasn't interested in running into a bear while compromised. So that could've been a factor.

Missed the cat hole by the way. So aim is a key skill when it comes to Roman squatting in those old train stations.

BearDown89 wrote:

Longhorned wrote:

Reminds me of the old men's room in Bear Down. Never could shit there in front of everyone else.

By the way, I think I figured out that those same ancient toilets, which flushed continuously below, involved sitting for something else: peeing. You see the cut-out on the front vertical plane just below the rim? That's for sitting down, inserting your dick below at the front, and peeing a backwards stream beneath your ass. Am I right?

I think that cut-out was to limit the mess from men with weak streams or awful aim who stood while peeing.

And so we have two contending theories. I wonder which posters will side with which proposal.

By the way, I executed by first squat this morning. If you're fully satisfied with the sit-and-shit, by all means, continue. But if you sense any impediment whatsoever, all I can say is that the squat will blow you're mind. It's as smooth and complete as a banana through an oil-lubed pipe.

What Your Poop Shape Says About Your Health


http://www.attn.com/stories/5010/poop-s ... naytevtest" target="_blank

How many of you escape to the bathroom to poop even if you don't really have a full on poop on deck?

Like, I could poop, maybe I could wait another few hours but whatever I need 5-10 minute break from the chaos so let's get on beardownwildcats and produce a stool.

Like a natural version of the work cigarette break.

Am I the only one?

CalStateTempe wrote:How many of you escape to the bathroom to poop even if you don't really have a full on poop on deck?

Like, I could poop, maybe I could wait another few hours but whatever I need 5-10 minute break from the chaos so let's get on beardownwildcats and produce a stool.

Like a natural version of the work cigarette break.

Am I the only one?

You are not alone.

If full disclosure, the above post was not created while pooping. But the idea for the post may have been inspired by it.

definitely not alone

I guess opening this thread while eating isn't a good idea.

CalStateTempe wrote:How many of you escape to the bathroom to poop even if you don't really have a full on poop on deck?

Like, I could poop, maybe I could wait another few hours but whatever I need 5-10 minute break from the chaos so let's get on beardownwildcats and produce a stool.

Like a natural version of the work cigarette break.

Am I the only one?

Pretty much daily I do this

But does that mean you'll make more than one deposit per day?

I just go into our WC to get away. I don't necessarily poop. But I've established that I spend anywhere between 5 and 15 minutes in there, and the fan takes away the weed smell.

I've pretty much been working at home for years. What's to escape from?

Longhorned wrote:I've pretty much been working at home for years. What's to escape from?

Me too. In my case I'm escaping from two children who simultaneously treat me like an encyclopedia, therapist, wishing well, bank, and jungle gym, and a wife with a to-do list longer than my arm.

I bought one of these and it definitely makes a difference.
http://www.squattypotty.com/" target="_blank

Irish27 wrote:I bought one of these and it definitely makes a difference.
http://www.squattypotty.com/" target="_blank

I don't understand those. Why not just squat with your feet firmly planted directly on the toilet seat, as illustrated by the picture Merkin posted? That seems like the exact equivalent of the natural human pooping posture of squatting directly on the ground, or like the ancient Roman manner of the squat toilets, or the modern Turkish toilets.

That's how I take dump. Like the re-posted illustration below, I step up onto the toilet seat with my feet on either long side of the seat, squat, and deposit with perfect ease. Then I stand and wipe, and move on to the next thing.

I also fully sanitize the toilet with bleach spray after each use.

I'm still baffled at the mechanics of wiping while sitting. It just simply makes no sense.

Merkin wrote:

Because they are less filled with poop.

ASUHATER! wrote:I'm still baffled at the mechanics of wiping while sitting. It just simply makes no sense.

I don't see how it is even possible.

77HoyaCat4Ever wrote:

ASUHATER! wrote:I'm still baffled at the mechanics of wiping while sitting. It just simply makes no sense.

I don't see how it is even possible.

Evolution

#STAND4LIFE

scumdevils86 wrote:#STAND4LIFE

You've got to STAND for something
or you'll fall for anything . . .

Irish27 wrote:I bought one of these and it definitely makes a difference.
http://www.squattypotty.com/" target="_blank

My wife bought one and swears by it. It's weird to me, but then again, I don't need any help in that department.

I'm shocked how many stand to wipe. I always stood, and about two years ago I was using a public toilet with a stall latch that apparently was not strong enough. I'm wiping and someone opened the door on me. So im just standing there, cock and balls out and the guy looked at me like I was a freak. At least that is what my brain told me, because I thought it was cuz I wiped like a 5-year-old. So I taught myself how to wipe "how adults wipe."

Irish27 wrote:I bought one of these and it definitely makes a difference.
http://www.squattypotty.com/" target="_blank

Given that this thread is already in the TMI zone, I will say that because of the information here, I decided to try using a small stool (no pun intended) to see if the squat position had merit. It probably varies from person to person but I have to say that, for me, it is very significant. Voiding is all of sudden easy and takes far less time. I don't know if you need to buy anything other than just have something to put your feet up on to create the squat position. The thing in this ad might be nicer in that it is smaller and may be easier to put away.

Daryl Zero wrote:

Irish27 wrote:I bought one of these and it definitely makes a difference.
http://www.squattypotty.com/" target="_blank

Given that this thread is already in the TMI zone, I will say that because of the information here, I decided to try using a small stool (no pun intended) to see if the squat position had merit. It probably varies from person to person but I have to say that, for me, it is very significant. Voiding is all of sudden easy and takes far less time. I don't know if you need to buy anything other than just have something to put your feet up on to create the squat position. The thing in this ad might be nicer in that it is smaller and may be easier to put away.

Probably just a small wooden stool with a small clearance notch in it would suffice.

Daryl Zero wrote:

Irish27 wrote:I bought one of these and it definitely makes a difference.
http://www.squattypotty.com/" target="_blank

Given that this thread is already in the TMI zone, I will say that because of the information here, I decided to try using a small stool (no pun intended) to see if the squat position had merit. It probably varies from person to person but I have to say that, for me, it is very significant. Voiding is all of sudden easy and takes far less time. I don't know if you need to buy anything other than just have something to put your feet up on to create the squat position. The thing in this ad might be nicer in that it is smaller and may be easier to put away.

Still even easier to squat with both feet directly on the toilet seat. Nothing to store away, either.

Longhorned wrote:

Daryl Zero wrote:

Irish27 wrote:I bought one of these and it definitely makes a difference.
http://www.squattypotty.com/" target="_blank

Given that this thread is already in the TMI zone, I will say that because of the information here, I decided to try using a small stool (no pun intended) to see if the squat position had merit. It probably varies from person to person but I have to say that, for me, it is very significant. Voiding is all of sudden easy and takes far less time. I don't know if you need to buy anything other than just have something to put your feet up on to create the squat position. The thing in this ad might be nicer in that it is smaller and may be easier to put away.

Still even easier to squat with both feet directly on the toilet seat. Nothing to store away, either.

The biggest problem is that, because of the pelvic tilt in the squat position, I can't keep the snake under the seat. You have to make sure you don't water the room.

Daryl Zero wrote:

Longhorned wrote:

Daryl Zero wrote:

Irish27 wrote:I bought one of these and it definitely makes a difference.
http://www.squattypotty.com/" target="_blank

Given that this thread is already in the TMI zone, I will say that because of the information here, I decided to try using a small stool (no pun intended) to see if the squat position had merit. It probably varies from person to person but I have to say that, for me, it is very significant. Voiding is all of sudden easy and takes far less time. I don't know if you need to buy anything other than just have something to put your feet up on to create the squat position. The thing in this ad might be nicer in that it is smaller and may be easier to put away.

Still even easier to squat with both feet directly on the toilet seat. Nothing to store away, either.

The biggest problem is that, because of the pelvic tilt in the squat position, I can't keep the snake under the seat. You have to make sure you don't water the room.

There's no split between sitters v. standers when it comes to peeing. It's just you and the rest of us. We all stand and pee first, then flush, then sit, and then either stand or stay seated.

Longhorned wrote:

Daryl Zero wrote:

Longhorned wrote:

Daryl Zero wrote:

Irish27 wrote:I bought one of these and it definitely makes a difference.
http://www.squattypotty.com/" target="_blank

Given that this thread is already in the TMI zone, I will say that because of the information here, I decided to try using a small stool (no pun intended) to see if the squat position had merit. It probably varies from person to person but I have to say that, for me, it is very significant. Voiding is all of sudden easy and takes far less time. I don't know if you need to buy anything other than just have something to put your feet up on to create the squat position. The thing in this ad might be nicer in that it is smaller and may be easier to put away.

Still even easier to squat with both feet directly on the toilet seat. Nothing to store away, either.

The biggest problem is that, because of the pelvic tilt in the squat position, I can't keep the snake under the seat. You have to make sure you don't water the room.

There's no split between sitters v. standers when it comes to peeing. It's just you and the rest of us. We all stand and pee first, then flush, then sit, and then either stand or stay seated.

Aren't you mixing this up with Catholic church a bit?

Since this is the scatological thread, saw a guy shit himself in an airport bathroom waiting for a stall today. At first I noticed feces on the floor. Pointed it out to someone, then looked at the guy next to him and noticed he had shit running down his leg (he was unfortunately wearing shorts). He looked seriously ill.

Of course I was waiting for my kid. He absolutely cannot have anyone in the stall with him so we're in this little cramped bathroom at La Guardia while our flight was delayed and in one stall is my 4-year-old singing nursery rhymes, the next stall was empty but locked from the inside and impenetrable, and there was someone in the far one. Then there was me, hanging on to the stall door for dear life, hoping against hope my kid will for the first time in his life be quick about his business, the guy who had shit himself, two guys trying desperately to stand as far away from the dude who had shit himself, and behind them I'd say most of the population of Queens in a line out the door waiting to use the shitters and wondering what the fuck that awful smell was.

We somehow managed to avoid stepping in the poo on the way out, and even washed our hands. I would have doused us in disinfectant and/or anti-bacterial if it had been handy but instead said three hail maries, sang "Baruch atah, Adonai Eloheinu, Melech haolam" under my breath, and secretly thought "Allahu Akbar" a few times (I was in an airport after all. Can't be saying that shit out loud or you'll get gang tackled by air marshalls) in order to cover all my bases. Please God (G-d, Allah, Vishnu, Buddha, Thor, Zeus, etc.) don't let me or my kid catch whatever that dude had...

So, he is a stander then.

azgreg wrote:So, he is a stander then.

I didn't stick around to find out, but he also may have been a faller.

Had to be absolutely horrifying for him.

Yeah, I'd have to say that shitting yourself somewhere in public has to be one of everyone's worst nightmares.

The beauty of the airport though is that your chances of running into someone you know when poo is streaming down your calves and into your socks is pretty much nil. Unlike at work . . . or your kid's school . . . or the grocery store, where you are almost guaranteed to run into a neighbor who you recently friended on Facebook only to have them turn around and post to your wall, "I hope you're feeling better. You didn't look good. Sorry you shit yourself."

In Venice of all places, some trash slid down off a box on an overstuffed trash receptacle, and a shit-covered diaper adhered to my leg (I was wearing shorts). I pulled it off me and as I headed back to my apartment horrified with shit running down my leg, some woman said, "Look at that poor man. He got sick."

That's my nightmare. Sudden explosive number 2 and nowhere to go.

ASUHATER! wrote:That's my nightmare. Sudden explosive number 2 and nowhere to go.

That's one of my dad stories. I went hiking with my son (about 3 years old) and we are about a mile from home in the car and he has to go urgently.
I stop at a Circle K and ask to use the bathroom. He doesn't quite get there on time and there is poop everywhere (explosive). On the floor and walls.

I ask for cleaning supplies and clean everything up with bleach. He has to walk out without pants and underwear. Ugh.

Before we married, my wife and I went to Native New Yorker for dinner one time. It was about a 15 minute drive to my apartment and I had just went HAM on some buffalo wings. About five minutes from my place as I am driving down River Road (ironically), it hits me, HARD. I am close enough to where I think I can make it, so I am flying down River, weaving in and out of cars, of course hitting a few lights, and squeezing my ass the whole way and sweating profusely. Pull into my complex and park in someone else's spot right by my place, and turn the car off but dont even bother to shut my car door. I am moving as fast as one can while still trying to maintain control. As I am walking up the stairs, every single muscle I was squeezing to hold it in gave out after 10 straight minutes of flexing... BOOM... F*ck me.. another step up.. BOOM.. another step up. BOOM. Walk to the door, unlock it. BOOM. Four times. My wife was dying. I was just grateful it happened within feet from a toilet, a shower, a clean change of clothes, and a kitchen with garbage bags to throw my drawers and shorts in before throwing them out completely. I've had a few close calls otherwise, but always get bailed out by a dark alley and a sock, or a Walgreens.

Would it be possible to take this thread in another direction during meal times?

Gee, I feel like I'm missing out here. Other than my run ins with the stomach flu at home I have never come close to shitting my pants in public.
.

scumdevils86 wrote:Gee, I feel like I'm missing out here. Other than my run ins with the stomach flu at home I have never come close to shitting my pants in public.
.

Never trust a fart.

Longhorned wrote:

scumdevils86 wrote:Gee, I feel like I'm missing out here. Other than my run ins with the stomach flu at home I have never come close to shitting my pants in public.
.

Never trust a fart.

Here I sit all broken hearted.
Tried to shit but only farted.
Then I went to a chance.
Tried to fart, but shit my pants.