Answer the Question

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Daryl Zero
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Answer the Question

Post by Daryl Zero »

Suppose some sophisticated aliens came to our planet and asked why does the human race deserve to live. What would your answer be?
Erlich Bachmann: Richard wrote the code, yes, but the inspiration was clear. Let me ask you something. How fast do you think you could jack off every guy in this room? Cause I know how long it would take me. And I could prove it.
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Puerco
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Re: Answer the Question

Post by Puerco »

Natural selection?

God's will?
'A parent is the one person who is supposed to make their kid think they can do anything. Says they're beautiful even when they're ugly. Thinks they're smart even when they go to Arizona State.' -- Jack Donaghy
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Longhorned
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Re: Answer the Question

Post by Longhorned »

First I take them to Chartres Cathedral, then to the Sistine Ceiling.

Then we watch the first two rounds of March Madness.

And then we listen to Howlin' Wolf's Smokestack Lightning.

If all that doesn't work, shit just got serious, so I break out this:

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Chicat
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Re: Answer the Question

Post by Chicat »

Of the 12 coaches, Rush picked the one whose fans have the deepest passion, the longest memories, the greatest lung capacity and … did I mention deep passion?
catgrad97
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Re: Answer the Question

Post by catgrad97 »

Yeah, beyond a Bach Passion, it's hard to find a better civilization-saver than the old Ludwig Van.

Unless, of course, the aliens were down with trying Spinato's and their baked spaghetti calzone.
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azgreg
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Re: Answer the Question

Post by azgreg »

Burning Man is out of the question?
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ASUHATER!
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Re: Answer the Question

Post by ASUHATER! »

No words, just give them some good beer and BBQ ribs and brisket
i was going to put the ua/asu records here...but i forgot what they were.

i'll just go with fuck asu.
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Merkin
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Re: Answer the Question

Post by Merkin »

Food source.


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Daryl Zero
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Re: Answer the Question

Post by Daryl Zero »

Chicat wrote:
I'm in a pretty pessimistic mood but when I think of this question, the only thing I can come up is the arts. If that is human kind's highest function/purpose, then what is the rest of the crap for?
Erlich Bachmann: Richard wrote the code, yes, but the inspiration was clear. Let me ask you something. How fast do you think you could jack off every guy in this room? Cause I know how long it would take me. And I could prove it.
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Longhorned
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Re: Answer the Question

Post by Longhorned »

Daryl Zero wrote:
Chicat wrote:
I'm in a pretty pessimistic mood but when I think of this question, the only thing I can come up is the arts. If that is human kind's highest function/purpose, then what is the rest of the crap for?
We're living in the golden age of TV, and you know it.

Aliens and Republicans aside, who respectively want to kill us and the arts, it's a pretty good gig if you can come home from a crap day at work, close yourself off from the world with a few choice family members and friends if you're lucky enough to have some you like in town, and just do what you want for an bit.
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ghostwhitehorse
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Re: Answer the Question

Post by ghostwhitehorse »

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Daryl Zero
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Re: Answer the Question

Post by Daryl Zero »

I'm pretty sure that after most of the above answers, we are all dead in my scenario.
Erlich Bachmann: Richard wrote the code, yes, but the inspiration was clear. Let me ask you something. How fast do you think you could jack off every guy in this room? Cause I know how long it would take me. And I could prove it.
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Longhorned
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Re: Answer the Question

Post by Longhorned »

Daryl Zero wrote:I'm pretty sure that after most of the above answers, we are all dead in my scenario.
You're making me hate extraterrestrials. **** them.
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Alieberman
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Re: Answer the Question

Post by Alieberman »

I'd direct them to the "Hot or Not" threads.
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Chicat
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Re: Answer the Question

Post by Chicat »

The real answer is that we want to live so that we can experience all there is to both in the natural and man-made world. We want to climb mountains and construct buildings and see operas and swim in the ocean and laugh with our kids and feel a fresh breeze on our faces.

That of course is never going to convince an alien to spare us because what's in it for them? So instead I offer up Donald Trump, Ted Cruz, Mike Huckabee, Rush Limbaugh and most of Congress to perform endless hours of their form of fellatio on whatever kind of sex organ they may have until they die. Deal?
Of the 12 coaches, Rush picked the one whose fans have the deepest passion, the longest memories, the greatest lung capacity and … did I mention deep passion?
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ghostwhitehorse
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Re: Answer the Question

Post by ghostwhitehorse »

The important question here is. . .how like us are these aliens? The more like us. . .the more likely they might just kill us. The more different. . .???

(I read a far amount of first contact sci-fi. . .and it's a concept that tends to occupy my mind. . .)
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azgreg
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Re: Answer the Question

Post by azgreg »

ghostwhitehorse wrote:The important question here is. . .how like us are these aliens? The more like us. . .the more likely they might just kill us. The more different. . .???

(I read a far amount of first contact sci-fi. . .and it's a concept that tends to occupy my mind. . .)
Probably why you drink all that beer.
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Puerco
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Re: Answer the Question

Post by Puerco »

We deserve to survive because we've earned it, damnit.

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'A parent is the one person who is supposed to make their kid think they can do anything. Says they're beautiful even when they're ugly. Thinks they're smart even when they go to Arizona State.' -- Jack Donaghy
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Daryl Zero
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Re: Answer the Question

Post by Daryl Zero »

I'm surprised no one has come up with this answer:

"To be served."

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Erlich Bachmann: Richard wrote the code, yes, but the inspiration was clear. Let me ask you something. How fast do you think you could jack off every guy in this room? Cause I know how long it would take me. And I could prove it.
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gumby
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Re: Answer the Question

Post by gumby »

Take them to a screening of ET. Show them we care enough to feed them Reese's Pieces and canned beer. Take them home and build a mashed potato sculpture of Devils Tower. Apologize for the Star Wars prequels.
Right where I want to be.
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ghostwhitehorse
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Re: Answer the Question

Post by ghostwhitehorse »

azgreg wrote:
ghostwhitehorse wrote:The important question here is. . .how like us are these aliens? The more like us. . .the more likely they might just kill us. The more different. . .???

(I read a far amount of first contact sci-fi. . .and it's a concept that tends to occupy my mind. . .)
Probably why you drink all that beer.
I. . .will not dispute this.




:P
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