Offing yourself is selfish.

[BigSkyCatinMT]

My best friend, Scott who currently lives in Boise - his son, Isaak committed suicide last week. True to the great person he is, Scott posted 2 paragraphs of frustration, and anger, and 7 paragraphs of warnings on the signs of a troubled child.

Yesterday, at my brothers request, I cornered my nephew at a counselors office for over 90 minutes. They cleared out and gave me complete control. We sat, arms embraced the entire time, as I told him in as many ways as possible that he had to be strong for his 10 month old son, Elijah - (pretty baby with hair that makes Donald Trumps look groomed). The threat of him doing something stupid is very real and scary for all of us.

Because of Scott's son, we had a common frame of reference. My nephew is a stoic, always has been. So, I was shocked to see real tears running down his cheeks for almost the entire time. Hope I got through to him.

I have a unique way with words, and my sincerity, at time gives them power. I just hope and pray that it was enough.

I hope and pray that some here will offer their prayers.

Side Note: Because of this, just cancelled my planned trip to San Bernardino, where I hoped to meet another Cat fan or more.

At least this has given me even more purpose to fight on - just wish that purpose was a little less stressful.

[Puerco]

Good for you. Wish I'd have had the chance to be as insightful and courageous for a few people over the years.

[Merkin]

They say the worst thing that can happen to you is to have a child die before you do.

Mentioned it before, but my son due to severe mental health issues and very poor psychiatric care tried to off himself by suicide by cop in 2011.

Fortunately for him, and us, he was only shot in the leg, and although suffers and will suffer for the rest of his life due to it severing a nerve. But like I tell him, it could have been a lot worse. Death obviously, but getting hit in the spine, eye, or arm would have been much worse.

That was extremely painful for us going through that, and can't imagine how awful it would have been if he had succeeded.

I think 85% of parents where a child dies ends up divorcing.

That's pretty selfish to cause so much pain for so many years.

But he is very normal, and like my dad said, you can't even tell any more that he is mentally, or physically disabled.

[BigSkyCatinMT]

Muffley, nerves can reconnect. I proved it against my doctors prognosis after my first spinal surgery. I also disproved my doctor after my second spinal surgery.

as long as the damage isn't an excessive gap.


Point is, never give up, never be a statistic.

[BigSkyCatinMT]

Bhanson, so glad for you that the worst didn't happen. Wish it was better for you - and yours.

[Merkin]

Muffley, nerves can reconnect. I proved it against my doctors prognosis after my first spinal surgery. I also disproved my doctor after my second spinal surgery.

as long as the damage isn't an excessive gap.


Point is, never give up, never be a statistic.

Thanks MTZ, he had a nerve transplant surgery 2 or 3 years ago, and it said it would take a year or so to connect. So far not much progress, but we still have hope.

He no longer wears a brace, but can't run or walk fast.

[BigSkyCatinMT]

merkin, what I did was massive amounts of antioxidents. Specifically, one called pycnogenol. It penetrates membranes like no other. If you ever want to talk on this over the phone to save time - PM me. Oh, I don't sell it - and it's an nonprescription nutraceutical

[BigSkyCatinMT]

I was supposed be in a foot brace for life after my first surgery. Chronic arthritis after my second. NO just isn't an answer. It will be someday. Just not yet.

[Chicat]

People who commit suicide generally think their family, loved-ones, friends, coworkers, etc. will be better off without them, so they don't see it as selfish. In fact, they sometimes think they're doing the world a favor.

Merkin, if you don't mind me asking (and please don't feel like you have to answer) but when did your son's emotional and mental problems begin to manifest?

[BigSkyCatinMT]

Chicat, been like 20 years, but a high school friend offed himself. His suicide note read something like this;

Lonnie, I am so mad at you that the only thing I can think of to do is to kill myself, and it's your fault. I hope that this haunts you for the rest of your life - Donnie.

Selfish. we were 6 tight-nit friends. All of us remaining 5 refused to go to his funeral. We were all pissed!@

Same time frame, Marty Tollman offed himself. Diagnosed with Leukemia. Didn't want to be a financial burden to his family. That time, we were all just heartbroken.

Have to leave - corner my nephew again. Seems like advice didn't take. BBL

[Merkin]

People who commit suicide generally think their family, loved-ones, friends, coworkers, etc. will be better off without them, so they don't see it as selfish. In fact, they sometimes think they're doing the world a favor.

Merkin, if you don't mind me asking (and please don't feel like you have to answer) but when did your son's emotional and mental problems begin to manifest?

I think he was around 20, so 9 years ago which I think is about the time it manifests itself in many men. Trying to make a long story short, but he became very sick when he was 19 with all kinds of sinus issues. No doctors around here could help him, they didn't have a clue. Just put him on antibiotics. So after 6 months or so they got him into Stanford Medical Center which diagnosed him with Wegener's Granulomatosis which is an autoimmune disease which attacks the sinuses, turns the membranes into a sandy texture.

The only treatment is extremely high doses of Prednisone. Of those taking high doses, 20% develop mental health issues. Of course, it saved his life but messed up his brain. Prednisone is one of those medicines which can be a lifesaver, but occasionally the cure is worse than the disease. No choice with my son though, the disease is fatal without it.

Once he became sick mentally, found a local psychiatrist for him. His psychiatrist was horribly, constantly switching his medications and having him go cold turkey on some.

He is now under the care of a very good psychiatrist.

[Chicat]

Damn Merk, that is awful. Thanks for sharing though. Being the parent of two kids under 7 I'm scared to death of all sorts of things, so it's always illuminating to talk to parents of young adults to hear what they went through at times.

[Alieberman]

Damn Merk, that is awful. Thanks for sharing though. Being the parent of two kids under 7 I'm scared to death of all sorts of things, so it's always illuminating to talk to parents of young adults to hear what they went through at times.

Me too, And Merk is right... it often develops in men around 18-21... there is an epidemic going on right now on most college campuses where freshmen are developing mental illnesses.

I've been hearing too many stories...

[BigSkyCatinMT]

Just got back. Drug my nephew to Convenient Care yesterday. Diagnosed with pneumonia, and got meds. Staying with my brother...sort of. At odds. Found out the moron slept in his truck in frikking Montana last night rather than go inside.

Met with him at a counseling center. They cleared out when I got there and gave us an open room alone. About 2 hours. I shared what has went on with me, and why I can never quit. I was more prepared today. I took in a legal pad, and as we conversed, we took turns writing binding promises to each other, and signed each promise in turn.

End of the day, I finally got the ONE promise I wanted. That he would take care of himself (meaning no more sleeping in the f-ing truck) and especially his 10 month old son. I promised in turn to take care of his son if unexpected shiit happened.

Hoping.

[Merkin]

Nice work Mtz! Something that both of you can look on in the future and just appreciate what you did for him.

Damn Merk, that is awful. Thanks for sharing though. Being the parent of two kids under 7 I'm scared to death of all sorts of things, so it's always illuminating to talk to parents of young adults to hear what they went through at times.

Me too, And Merk is right... it often develops in men around 18-21... there is an epidemic going on right now on most college campuses where freshmen are developing mental illnesses.

I've been hearing too many stories...

Military too, suicide deaths have been much more than combat deaths for quite some time, even for non-combat military. Guess they weren't strong, right Donald?

When this happened to my son, it made the local news since it was a police shooting.

My friends and coworkers were very supportive, and heard lots of stories from them. Almost everyone knew someone that committed suicide.

Worst story was from one of my coworkers. His wife had a brother that blew his brains out in a car. His wife was tasked with cleaning the car up.

No frickin' way would I have anyone close do that, I don't care what it cost.

[EOCT]

Merk and Mtz-----bravo! You guys are real and my heroes!

You demonstrate the best quality of life is life itself.

[BigSkyCatinMT]

found the moron sleeping in his truck again this morning in Hamilton by accident...with pneumonia. 15 hours later, finally got him into a real bed.

[Chicat]

Didn’t know which thread to put this in. Our healthcare system is killing people who have mental illnesses.