Letters from a Nut
Posted: Sun May 31, 2015 8:12 am
Any fans here of the Letters from a Nut series by "Ted L. Nancy" (Barry Marder)?
I've decided to send the following letter to thousands of households in various cities and towns throughout America, and see what response I get. I think I can actually get funding for this.
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Dear Sir/Ma'am,
Please forgive this intrusion and allow me to introduce myself. Many years ago, I used to live in your house. I'm currently at a stage when I'm experiencing a strong urge to reconnect with that earlier part of my life. As a very important favor, I'm asking whether you would be so kind as to allow me to visit your home. I would need to view the inside from various heights corresponding to different stages of my growth, so apologies in advance for stooping and falling to my knees. And yes, I will be required to enter every room of your house, spending time alone in each. As a final request, in the bedroom across from the hallway bathroom, and also in the master bedroom, I may need to reposition the bed, and I will certainly need to spend several hours laying in it.
For all of these explorations, I am requesting two days, though I may not require the full second day. There is no need to accommodate me overnight, as I will be staying at the closest Motel 6. I really appreciate your doing this for me, and I want to do everything I can to avoid inconveniencing you. You are more than welcome to be in the house during my visit. At your earliest convenience, please email your decision to handymort@yahoo.com. If I don't hear back from you, I'll stop by so that we can discuss in person. Thank you for your valuable time.
Sincerely,
Morton Roundcap
I've decided to send the following letter to thousands of households in various cities and towns throughout America, and see what response I get. I think I can actually get funding for this.
----
Dear Sir/Ma'am,
Please forgive this intrusion and allow me to introduce myself. Many years ago, I used to live in your house. I'm currently at a stage when I'm experiencing a strong urge to reconnect with that earlier part of my life. As a very important favor, I'm asking whether you would be so kind as to allow me to visit your home. I would need to view the inside from various heights corresponding to different stages of my growth, so apologies in advance for stooping and falling to my knees. And yes, I will be required to enter every room of your house, spending time alone in each. As a final request, in the bedroom across from the hallway bathroom, and also in the master bedroom, I may need to reposition the bed, and I will certainly need to spend several hours laying in it.
For all of these explorations, I am requesting two days, though I may not require the full second day. There is no need to accommodate me overnight, as I will be staying at the closest Motel 6. I really appreciate your doing this for me, and I want to do everything I can to avoid inconveniencing you. You are more than welcome to be in the house during my visit. At your earliest convenience, please email your decision to handymort@yahoo.com. If I don't hear back from you, I'll stop by so that we can discuss in person. Thank you for your valuable time.
Sincerely,
Morton Roundcap