The Random Thoughts Thread

dovecanyoncat · Post by **dovecanyoncat** » Thu Mar 21, 2019 6:58 pm

Amazing as such stupidity is, it's equally amazing and stupid that women would select these morons as sexual candidates.

Longhorned · Post by **Longhorned** » Thu Mar 21, 2019 7:38 pm

What's in your wallet?

UAEebs86 · Post by **UAEebs86** » Thu Mar 21, 2019 7:41 pm

90 percent of Darwin Awards start with "y'all watch this!"

Chicat · Post by **Chicat** » Thu Mar 21, 2019 7:41 pm

CalStateTempe wrote:Question for the music heads here...what was going on in rock in the seventies and early eighties that lead to band names based of locales? Boston, Chicago, Kansas, readily come to mind but I’m sure there are others. Just curious how and why that took off.

All the animal names were taken and no one knew what a search engine was.

dovecanyoncat · Post by **dovecanyoncat** » Thu Mar 21, 2019 7:44 pm

Longhorned wrote:What's in your wallet?

Not a condom, evidently.

azgreg · Post by **azgreg** » Fri Mar 22, 2019 7:44 am

Is there anything worse than having to take a post shower dump?

#firstworldproblems

Longhorned · Post by **Longhorned** » Fri Mar 22, 2019 8:16 am

azgreg wrote:Is there anything worse than having to take a post shower dump?

#firstworldproblems

Yeah. Having to take a post-shower dump after getting to work. The "best place on campus to take a dump" advisory thread needs serious updating.

MountainCat · Post by **MountainCat** » Fri Mar 22, 2019 9:08 am

Longhorned wrote:
azgreg wrote:Is there anything worse than having to take a post shower dump?

#firstworldproblems
Yeah. Having to take a post-shower dump after getting to work. The "best place on campus to take a dump" advisory thread needs serious updating.

Yeah but at least your are on the clock...

Longhorned · Post by **Longhorned** » Fri Mar 22, 2019 9:50 am

MountainCat wrote:
Longhorned wrote:
azgreg wrote:Is there anything worse than having to take a post shower dump?

#firstworldproblems
Yeah. Having to take a post-shower dump after getting to work. The "best place on campus to take a dump" advisory thread needs serious updating.
Yeah but at least your are on the clock...

I think you'd have a legal case if you got fired for being on the toilet 8:00-5:00 every day.

ByJoveByJingle · Post by **ByJoveByJingle** » Fri Mar 22, 2019 11:42 pm

They are implementing additional vacation days in Japan for employees who don’t smoke to make up for all the smoking breaks the other workers take. MountainCat’s colleagues may be getting extra leave to account for all his post-shower on-the-clock dumps.

SCCats · Post by **SCCats** » Sat Mar 23, 2019 12:33 am

ByJoveByJingle wrote:They are implementing additional vacation days in Japan for employees who don’t smoke to make up for all the smoking breaks the other workers take. MountainCat’s colleagues may be getting extra leave to account for all his post-shower on-the-clock dumps.

A step in the right direction.

Now we just need to expand that to extra vacation days for the extra work those of us without kids take on from those that do.

dovecanyoncat · Post by **dovecanyoncat** » Sat Mar 23, 2019 7:41 am

SCCats wrote:
Now we just need to expand that to extra vacation days for the extra work those of us without kids take on from those that do.

Huh? You mean in addition to those deductions you get for not having kids? Oh, wait...

RichardCranium · Post by **RichardCranium** » Sat Mar 23, 2019 8:00 pm

CatsbyAZ wrote:I get that, but tellers are so quick to route you online about everything.

Banking as a whole seems so much less personal anyway; the worst of it being the credit cards they try to get you to sign up for (yes, I know that's part of their post-recession job too.)

I do most of my banking online anyway, but at times requiring me to be at the bank in person (like cashing a lot of checks at once) I usually bring along several other chores.

The BANK has instructed the tellers to tell you those things. If they don't, and its noticed (you might be a "test" customer for example), they get coached. The problem is that you are NOT AT YOUR COMPUTER, you are in the bank branch and you want to get the job done, NOW, not at some unknown time in the future when you are at your computer.

My worst experience like that was 40 years ago queuing up for lunch at Sizzler Steak House on Congress with office folks. The line was moving slow and we had plenty of time to get our order straight before we got to the counter. Then we found out why the line was so slow.

Me: I'll have a Sizzler, medium rare, a salad ranch dressing, an Ice Tea, and that's all thanks.
Waiter: OK, how would you like your Sizzler cooked?
Me: I'll have a Sizzler, medium rare, a salad ranch dressing, an Ice Tea, and that's all thanks.
Waiter: fine. Salad or Fries?
Me: Salad with ranch dressing and an Ice Tea, and that's all thanks.
Waiter: Dressing on your salad?
Me: I've just told you three times. Salad with ranch dressing. And I'd also like an Ice Tea, and nothing else.
Waiter: Would you like a drink with that?
Me: Arrrrrrrrgh. Ice Tea AND THATS ALL.
Waiter: How about desert?
Me: Are you enjoying this or what?
Waiter: Look, management tells us to do it this way.
Me: Does management also tell you to LISTEN TO THE CUSTOMER for crying out loud?

P.S. what is this 'cashing a lot of checks all at once' thing? I can't remember the last time I wrote a check (correction, yes I do, it was in 2007 for the last payment on the house renovation - seriously, I just looked at my check book), and my tax refund doesn't even come in a check. Oh I think I got a check from the phone company when they changed their accounting system and couldn't get the credit balance transferred from their old system to the new system (man was that a schmozzle - and I'm not sure its over even now, I keep getting credit balance notices from the old system).

Longhorned · Post by **Longhorned** » Mon Mar 25, 2019 7:39 pm

How many of those library books you think have been read on the toilet? I've never read one on the toilet. I don't even know what made me think of it.

dovecanyoncat · Post by **dovecanyoncat** » Mon Mar 25, 2019 10:20 pm

Why wouldn't one take a book to the reading room? Gotta be a comfort height model, though.

Longhorned · Post by **Longhorned** » Sun Apr 07, 2019 2:05 pm

Refreshing
BEER WIPES

For topical use only. Not for oral consumption.

Contains beer.

Longhorned · Post by **Longhorned** » Wed Apr 17, 2019 2:54 pm

I just got out of a really long meeting, where I drew this:

dovecanyoncat · Post by **dovecanyoncat** » Wed Apr 17, 2019 3:43 pm

Self portrait in Turtleneck?

Longhorned · Post by **Longhorned** » Wed Apr 17, 2019 3:55 pm

dovecanyoncat wrote:Self portrait in Turtleneck?

I don't know. The woman sitting next to me asked, "Who is that?" and looked a little offended for some reason.

dovecanyoncat · Post by **dovecanyoncat** » Wed Apr 17, 2019 6:54 pm

Longhorned wrote:
dovecanyoncat wrote:Self portrait in Turtleneck?
I don't know. The woman sitting next to me asked, "Who is that?" and looked a little offended for some reason.

PieceOfMeat · Post by **PieceOfMeat** » Fri Apr 19, 2019 10:12 am

Longhorned wrote:I just got out of a really long meeting, where I drew this:

anyone else unable to see this picture?

Longhorned · Post by **Longhorned** » Sat May 04, 2019 8:25 pm

azgreg wrote:
Longhorned wrote:I realize that everyone loves Eegee’s for a frozen treat. Nobody more than me. But what I don’t get is adults without children along, including couples, going to Eegee’s for lunch.
IMHO they make a good samich.

You're right. First of all, the secret is their 3-foot long salami sandwich (not their regular sized, which is a completely unrelated phenomenon). And I'm embarrassed to admit it took me so long that the secret to their sandwiches generally is to pour their ranch dressing on them. Their ranch is the best ranch on the planet.

Longhorned · Post by **Longhorned** » Thu May 16, 2019 12:38 pm

Books written by dead people after they're already dead are always so weird.

Frybry02 · Post by **Frybry02** » Wed May 22, 2019 9:19 pm

I apologize to all my future Uber drivers. It's not your fault that will be silently in back of your avoiding any hint of a conbpversation... The truth is my last 3 uber drivers have shared with me that they and their wives have just recently separated.

Longhorned · Post by **Longhorned** » Wed May 22, 2019 9:25 pm

Frybry02 wrote:I apologize to all my future Uber drivers. It's not your fault that will be silently in back of your avoiding any hint of a conbpversation... The truth is my last 3 uber drivers have shared with me that they and their wives have just recently separated.

It's hard to talk to them anyway. They already know I'm on my way to a bar to get drunk, or on my way home drunk.

CalStateTempe · Post by **CalStateTempe** » Wed May 22, 2019 11:34 pm

I prefer the silent barriers of taxis.

I’m gonna sit in the back texting and your gonna be driving speaking Russian or Arabic to your friends or brothers with an earpiece.

And it’s all good that way.

ASUHATER! · Post by **ASUHATER!** » Wed May 22, 2019 11:38 pm

The people driving Uber and Lyft a lot of the time are normal non career cab people though. Sometimes out driving for hours and want some human conversation occasionally. Unless you really don't feel like it, talk to the driver at least a little. Especially if you're in a new or different city. Best way to find out about local stuff and make the driver's day. They are real people and not just your servant/chauffeur.

dovecanyoncat · Post by **dovecanyoncat** » Wed May 22, 2019 11:51 pm

Lots of drivers are immigrants and I find their perspective really interesting if only from my cracker-ass reality. Depends on the topic of engagement I guess. I like talking politics with Middle Easterners and Sub-Saharan Africans.

CalStateTempe · Post by **CalStateTempe** » Thu May 23, 2019 6:48 am

dovecanyoncat wrote:Lots of drivers are immigrants and I find their perspective really interesting if only from my cracker-ass reality. Depends on the topic of engagement I guess. I like talking politics with Middle Easterners and Sub-Saharan Africans.

Agreed.

I find taxi drivers a lot more interesting in discussion than your average Uber/Lytt driver.

I get it hater, and I speak with people on the rare occasion I am in an uber but often times the uber discussion seems much more forced and less organic that as in a taxi in my experience.

I prefer taxis to Uber’s and hotels to Airbnb’s

CalStateTempe · Post by **CalStateTempe** » Thu May 23, 2019 6:49 am

Oddly enough I feel I have MORE control in the former than the latter.

Longhorned · Post by **Longhorned** » Thu May 23, 2019 8:18 am

Speaking of avoiding conversations, I haven't had a haircut since 2008.

On that last time in the "stylist's" chair, he shaved half my head and sent me on my way. Because that's the reality of the imbalance in the social dynamic when you're sitting in that chair. The whole time during a haircut, you have to keep up the stupid conversation and be agreeable. Basically, not being yourself at all because the person you're talking to holds the scissors. If you're not willing to do that, you risk them making you look like the idiot you are when you just relax and speak freely.

Or you can decide to stop getting your hair cut.

CalStateTempe · Post by **CalStateTempe** » Thu May 23, 2019 9:08 am

Lol...so true LH, so very very true.

My most hated question is “ how do you want me to cut your hair today”. I don’t Fucking know, just do it and make it look good.

Right up there with the interview I’ve breaker, “tell me about yourself”
Why don’t you read my file and inquire about things if interest to you...

Merkin · Post by **Merkin** » Thu May 23, 2019 9:16 am

CalStateTempe wrote:My most hated question is “ how do you want me to cut your hair today”.

I have been going to Great Clips for about 5 years now or so, since you can register online so you don't have to wait. Sign up when home, and when it says you have 5 minutes left head to the shop. They hold your spot for an hour.

They also record how your hair was done last time, so they don't need to ask again.

Chicat · Post by **Chicat** » Thu May 23, 2019 9:38 am

CalStateTempe wrote:My most hated question is “ how do you want me to cut your hair today”. I don’t Fucking know, just do it and make it look good.

I've been going to my stylist every 5-6 weeks for like 15 years. Know what question she doesn't ask me?

Longhorned · Post by **Longhorned** » Thu May 23, 2019 9:52 am

Vocabulary for haircuts is rough. You'd have to show a photo.

"Can you make me as handsome as this handsome man who I think is so handsome? Did I mention he's handsome? He's in a soap opera I watch."

azgreg · Post by **azgreg** » Thu May 23, 2019 9:54 am

Barber: "How do you want your hair cut today?"

Me: "Let's go for shorter."

dovecanyoncat · Post by **dovecanyoncat** » Thu May 23, 2019 10:07 am

Longhorned wrote:Speaking of avoiding conversations, I haven't had a haircut since 2008.

On that last time in the "stylist's" chair, he shaved half my head and sent me on my way. Because that's the reality of the imbalance in the social dynamic when you're sitting in that chair. The whole time during a haircut, you have to keep up the stupid conversation and be agreeable. Basically, not being yourself at all because the person you're talking to holds the scissors. If you're not willing to do that, you risk them making you look like the idiot you are when you just relax and speak freely.

Or you can decide to stop getting your hair cut.

Oral hygienists are effective interrogators. The prospect of having one's tongue gaffed for any number of reasons makes for precarious conversation. You may have to convincingly mumble an agreement that puppies are in fact inherently evil and that tipping medical technicians is now de rigueur. Try saying de rigueur with two fishhooks and a suction clamp in your mouth.

"Is it safe?"

"I love how you've decorated room 3, Amanda. Guantanamo chic!"

Longhorned · Post by **Longhorned** » Thu May 23, 2019 10:46 am

Longhorned wrote:Vocabulary for haircuts is rough. You'd have to show a photo.

"Can you make me as handsome as this handsome man who I think is so handsome? Did I mention he's handsome? He's in a soap opera I watch."

One of you has to agree to do this with this photo and while dressed exactly like this:

Merkin · Post by **Merkin** » Thu May 23, 2019 10:56 am

dovecanyoncat wrote:
"Is it safe?"

I wonder how many will get that reference?

I saw that movie when it came out in the movie theater in the late 1970's, and don't think I have seen it since, but it really sticks in your mind.

Longhorned · Post by **Longhorned** » Thu May 23, 2019 3:34 pm

Man, some houses go on the real estate market and get so many offers on the first day, the only way to win the bidding war for the house is to lose by being a complete fucking idiot. I'm about to be in second place again because somebody is willing to meet my amount beyond asking price and raise me one waiving of the appraisal contingency.

Who buys a house without putting it through appraisal?

It's like outbidding for a painting by being willing to waive the painted canvas part.

Just give me the frame!

dovecanyoncat · Post by **dovecanyoncat** » Thu May 23, 2019 4:27 pm

Winning the bidding war doesn't guarantee you the house either. All bids can be rejected no matter how high they are. That's the problem with America these days, fucking idiots no longer get the respect they deserve.

Longhorned · Post by **Longhorned** » Thu May 23, 2019 4:30 pm

dovecanyoncat wrote:Winning the bidding war doesn't guarantee you the house either. All bids can be rejected no matter how high they are. That's the problem with America these days, fucking idiots no longer get the respect they deserve.

Yeah, they risk a lower appraisal, leading the bank to withhold financing, and the "winner" walks away having lost $4,000 or whatever of his earnest money.

dovecanyoncat · Post by **dovecanyoncat** » Thu May 23, 2019 7:20 pm

Longhorned wrote:
dovecanyoncat wrote:Winning the bidding war doesn't guarantee you the house either. All bids can be rejected no matter how high they are. That's the problem with America these days, fucking idiots no longer get the respect they deserve.
Yeah, they risk a lower appraisal, leading the bank to withhold financing, and the "winner" walks away having lost $4,000 or whatever of his earnest money.

"You can buy a shitload of participation trophies for 4 grand." ~ Betty Jo Bialowski, NAR Realtor of the Year.

"Winners know the difference between investing and paying off their lost dreams." ~ Rocky Rococo, CEO America First Bank.

CalStateTempe · Post by **CalStateTempe** » Sat May 25, 2019 8:01 am

My daughter wants a bunny.

I think this is a terrible idea.

discuss.

Chicat · Post by **Chicat** » Sat May 25, 2019 8:29 am

CalStateTempe wrote:My daughter wants a bunny.

I think this is a terrible idea.

discuss.

It is a terrible idea. End of discussion.

UAEebs86 · Post by **UAEebs86** » Sat May 25, 2019 8:30 am

What Chi said

dovecanyoncat · Post by **dovecanyoncat** » Sat May 25, 2019 9:27 am

Discussion>B̶u̶n̶n̶y>Discussion>Bacon=Bunny>EndofDiscussion>Breakfast>Bob'sYourUncle

Merkin · Post by **Merkin** » Sat May 25, 2019 9:55 am

You need to hold bunnies every day to get them acclimated to humans. Otherwise they are not nice.

Once they are adults it's too late.

We had one that roamed free in our back yard. Used to dig furrows under the house.

Ended up at the local 50 acre park although I think I told the kids it ran off or we gave it away. They know the truth now.

Rats make much better pets, seriously. Smart and friendly. Unfortunately they do die off pretty quickly, and are prone to tumors.

CalStateTempe · Post by **CalStateTempe** » Sat May 25, 2019 11:11 am

Thanks guys, I can always count on you to echo my inner monologue.

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