Venting Thread

CatsbyAZ · Post by **CatsbyAZ** » Mon Dec 02, 2019 9:22 am

For someone who is a vegetarian (95% of the time) and rarely drinks, as much as I enjoy Thanksgiving, it's a bit of a downer to get back into the routine. The past week I drank more than I have in three years, and ate obligingly ate meat too. Back at work today and going to gym during lunch hour.

azgreg · Post by **azgreg** » Mon Dec 02, 2019 10:46 am

i can't stop writing 11/2/19 on documents today. I must have done it a half dozen times so far. Damn it!

PieceOfMeat · Post by **PieceOfMeat** » Wed Dec 04, 2019 6:16 pm

when a school goes on lock down because of gunshots in the area
and then is taken off lockdown because the police clear the school
and everyone goes back to normal after school activities because it's normal for this shit to happen

THIS SHIT IS NOT OK DAMNIT. FUCK YOU AND YOUR LOVE OF A GUN OVER THE LOVE OF LIFE. FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FOR CREATING AN AMERICA WHERE THIS IS FUCKING NORMAL AND BARELY AFFECTS ANYONE WHEN IT HAPPENS.

CalStateTempe · Post by **CalStateTempe** » Sat Dec 07, 2019 3:06 pm

It’s a special kind of torture to send your husband to get kids clothes for family picture day with the two kids (5 and 2yo girls) present.

Who knew there was a difference between stockings, leggings, and tights?

CalStateTempe · Post by **CalStateTempe** » Sat Dec 07, 2019 3:07 pm

Old navy, gap, kohl’s, target. Target was the winner.

dovecanyoncat · Post by **dovecanyoncat** » Sun Dec 08, 2019 12:31 am

My man, I think you need to master the art of strategic failure in its many tactical applications. To prevent future serial torture you should have shown SWMBO just how impossibly incompetent you are at such assignments. It would have been money well spent to have gone to some terrifying and psychotically boutique retail salon and horrendously overspent on some unreturnable and disastrously inappropriate clothes for your kids. After a merciless lecture on fiscal irresponsibility and a lengthy demand that you never reveal your disgusting lack of taste, you'd be free from the assignment ever again.

Remember, division of labor in modern marriage is all about being bad, really, really fucking bad at what you don't want to do.

CalStateTempe · Post by **CalStateTempe** » Sun Dec 08, 2019 8:02 am

dovecanyoncat wrote:My man, I think you need to master the art of strategic failure in its many tactical applications. To prevent future serial torture you should have shown SWMBO just how impossibly incompetent you are at such assignments. It would have been money well spent to have gone to some terrifying and psychotically boutique retail salon and horrendously overspent on some unreturnable and disastrously inappropriate clothes for your kids. After a merciless lecture on fiscal irresponsibility and a lengthy demand that you never reveal your disgusting lack of taste, you'd be free from the assignment ever again.

Remember, division of labor in modern marriage is all about being bad, really, really fucking bad at what you don't want to do.

Wow.....this is fucking brilliant! Thank you sir!

7 years into this tour of duty and the things I still need to learn.

This goes along with a topic in marriage I was speaking about with my buddy the other day; the subtle gamesmanship that occurs for random and often silly stuff. Like we both have good marriages and can do whatever we want (with in reason of course) it there is still covert negotiation that has to occasionally occur.

Example, I got ski season pass with my buddy and the Sierras are getting pounded. We want to go skiing next Saturday. Weekends are “family time” for the both of us. So he’s taking his wife (no kids) to the lodge and putting her up with a good book and a bottle of wine and they’ll go wine tasting or do
Something fun in Sunday ( she doesn’t down hill but does cross country, our pass has access to the cross country place that she can use too; Winning!)

For me, wife wants a night out with her crew next sat weekend. My daughter also has her nutcracker performances he following Saturday at the same time as the St. John’s game in sf that Ive been talking up to them since it was scheduled. Huge card in my favor!l to spend a day of “weekend family time” skiing next Saturday so long as I am back by 7pm for her to go out with her friends.

Me teaching my oldest to ski this season is another example of getting more time in the mountains for myself.

I also sometimes like when she’ll throw out, something to the effect of “think to the kids” when deciding restaurant choices and activities when it’s clearly something she doesn’t want to do.

We have a good marriage and most of the time it all works out in both of our favors, if I still amazes me to this day the individual wants and desires and how that plays out.

Strategic failure is a skill set I need to develop.

CalStateTempe · Post by **CalStateTempe** » Sun Dec 08, 2019 8:08 am

I sent a text photo of girls leggings with “ok” and immediately received a frantic call with pressured speech schooling me on how leggings are not tights. The little old lady buying clothes next to me started chuckling.

Lol

dovecanyoncat · Post by **dovecanyoncat** » Sun Dec 08, 2019 12:38 pm

Sometimes the technology tether is not your friend. Think old school, young man.

"Sorry honey, I wanted to surprise you and the girls." (Women love surprises, but only the surprises they love.) If the shot goes in you can always call bank, but sometimes you just have to miss at the buzzer and hit the shower.

CalStateTempe · Post by **CalStateTempe** » Mon Dec 09, 2019 1:46 pm

Staff member ate the tamales that I purchased from the mother of another staff member.

If you didn’t put it in the fridge, it isn’t yours.

scumdevils86 · Post by **scumdevils86** » Mon Dec 09, 2019 1:54 pm

That happened to me once too. Bought tamales from another coworkers mother. Someone ate them. It's been like 6 years and I'm not over it.

Chicat · Post by **Chicat** » Mon Dec 09, 2019 2:54 pm

Buy more tamales. Spike them with ipecac or ex-lax.

azgreg · Post by **azgreg** » Fri Dec 13, 2019 7:21 am

When you take the last of the coffee in the pot to fill your cup it's your responsibility to either make another pot or depending on the time to rinse out the pot. Assholes.

Longhorned · Post by **Longhorned** » Fri Dec 13, 2019 8:01 am

"I'm going to leave this empty coffee pot for my family, friends, and colleagues!"

Chicat · Post by **Chicat** » Sat Dec 14, 2019 12:51 pm

Who the fuck brings their kid to a birthday party at an event place where you’re only allowed to have a set number of attendees WITHOUT FUCKING RSVPing???

I’m honestly blown away.

“Well, we were going to try and find you on Facebook or something...”

Why didn’t you? Or what about the school fucking directory?

“Eli found your address from one of his other friends so we figured we’d just swing by to see if the party was still happening...”

The party you never said your shitty kid was coming to?? The party where we now didn’t order enough food?? THE PARTY WE HAD NO IDEA YOUR KID WAS ATTENDING BECAUSE YOU DIDN’T RESPOND TO
ANY OF OUR TEXTS, CALLS OR EMAILS????

I fucking hate people. And we are DONE with stupid fucking parties. I’d rather just give the kid $400 and drop him off at a mall or something.

dovecanyoncat · Post by **dovecanyoncat** » Sat Dec 14, 2019 12:56 pm

Society is overrated.

dovecanyoncat · Post by **dovecanyoncat** » Sat Dec 14, 2019 7:51 pm

Pesto is not like ketchup and cock size. A little goes a long way. Tone it down for fuck's sake.

CalStateTempe · Post by **CalStateTempe** » Tue Dec 17, 2019 11:10 am

I hate office orchestrated secret Santa

1. The social pressure to participate
2. The escalating arms race of gifts and price, the wrapping, how gifts are given, the attempts at surprise and subterfuge to “hide” the Santa, the forced cheer of it all.
3. Im good with giving a coworker up to a 20USD gift, but shit people are nuts and now I look like the cheap skate
4. This year people submitted a request list! The person I got wanted silver and gold hoop earrings. Fuck that! I ain’t risking my marriage over your over 40 micheal buble listening ass.

Previous years office staff would give a few small gifts every year leading up to the “big ticket” item on the day. This year everyone went crazy decorating and wrapping these elaborate present displays for a Christmas tree morning style distribution in the afternoon. Would’ve been nice to know.

My person is getting her glass water bottle with straw, Hershey’s almond kisses, and cheap ass reindeer “fun iPhone case” (all in her request list!!) in an empty diet cherry coke box, with a piece of wrapping tissue paper taken from someone else’s present with a hand scrawled note on printer paper.

Seriously.

Bah humbug

Longhorned · Post by **Longhorned** » Tue Dec 17, 2019 12:03 pm

dovecanyoncat wrote:Pesto is not like ketchup and cock size. A little goes a long way. Tone it down for fuck's sake.

Maybe not the right thread for me to say this, but pesto is severely overused. You know what it's good on? Pasta. Maybe once every few years. That's it.

ASUHATER! · Post by **ASUHATER!** » Tue Dec 17, 2019 12:18 pm

Pesto is good on pizza

dovecanyoncat · Post by **dovecanyoncat** » Tue Dec 17, 2019 12:26 pm

CalStateTempe wrote:I hate office orchestrated secret Santa

1. The social pressure to participate
2. The escalating arms race of gifts and price, the wrapping, how gifts are given, the attempts at surprise and subterfuge to “hide” the Santa, the forced cheer of it all.
3. Im good with giving a coworker up to a 20USD gift, but shit people are nuts and now I look like the cheap skate
4. This year people submitted a request list! The person I got wanted silver and gold hoop earrings. Fuck that! I ain’t risking my marriage over your over 40 micheal buble listening ass.

Previous years office staff would give a few small gifts every year leading up to the “big ticket” item on the day. This year everyone went crazy decorating and wrapping these elaborate present displays for a Christmas tree morning style distribution in the afternoon. Would’ve been nice to know.

My person is getting her glass water bottle with straw, Hershey’s almond kisses, and cheap ass reindeer “fun iPhone case” (all in her request list!!) in an empty diet cherry coke box, with a piece of wrapping tissue paper taken from someone else’s present with a hand scrawled note on printer paper.

Seriously.

Bah humbug

I've never had a job in the straight world so I don't fathom office reality, but correct me if I'm wrong, don't HR departments all across the country have standing protocols that recognize the the existence of non-christians, protocols that obviate participation in the American workplace ritual homage to a grade school play?

dovecanyoncat · Post by **dovecanyoncat** » Tue Dec 17, 2019 12:38 pm

ASUHATER! wrote:Pesto is good on pizza

^^^This. And it was this that prompted my rant. I said to Mrs. Dove "This has just the right amount of pesto." It pokes its head out around the edges of the crust. It's not lapping up to my elbows like a global warming surge of the sea. It's not spilling over every contour like Trump's jowls. I get past the center accoutrements of the pizza and it does it work right there, in its proper place, anointing the toe-slope of the crust with a savory, herbaceous oil. It works.

RichardCranium · Post by **RichardCranium** » Tue Dec 17, 2019 9:30 pm

I agree, pesto is great on pizza, as long as its not overdone.

And on a similar note, I quite like rocket lettuce in a salad or even as a light garnish, but I absolutely resent needing a machete and a guide to hack my way through a giant pile of the stuff to even catch a glimpse of the meal that I've actually ordered.

Chicat · Post by **Chicat** » Sun Dec 22, 2019 5:24 pm

What a shit weekend of sports for me.

Rams lose and get eliminated

Arizona loses a game they should have won going away.

About to lose my fantasy football championship game.

Fuck everything.

dovecanyoncat · Post by **dovecanyoncat** » Sun Dec 22, 2019 6:23 pm

...and fuck christmas.

Longhorned · Post by **Longhorned** » Mon Dec 23, 2019 8:05 pm

Usually when I steal my neighbors' Christmastime delivered packages from their doorsteps, I go for items that are obviously electronics so I can turn them over for quick cash to buy drugs. But today something else caught my eye: a package from a Danish bakery. I got it home and ripped open the box, and instead of Danishes there were these four really heavy "loaves" (more like bricks) of something called Danish rye bread. Man, am I pissed.

At least I just saved a family from a really stupid Christmas, didn't I?

dovecanyoncat · Post by **dovecanyoncat** » Mon Dec 23, 2019 10:57 pm

Think of the carbs!

Chicat · Post by **Chicat** » Thu Dec 26, 2019 8:26 pm

I’m getting sick.

Thanks everyone who showed up to Christmas Eve even though they were quite obviously infected. Your presence and the germs you left behind really made the holidays festive and bright.

CalStateTempe · Post by **CalStateTempe** » Mon Dec 30, 2019 3:37 pm

People who diddle around at the ticket counter at the movies when all the movies are listed with times and sold out for all to see while in the line!!!

Wife and I lost out on tickets/seats to knives out at two different theaters sat night due to imbeciles dicking around.

ASUHATER! · Post by **ASUHATER!** » Mon Dec 30, 2019 4:11 pm

But your tickets online at home. No one should go to the counter

CalStateTempe · Post by **CalStateTempe** » Mon Dec 30, 2019 4:16 pm

ASUHATER! wrote:But your tickets online at home. No one should go to the counter

Was gifted tickets from work with no code on the back to purchase remotely.

Had to suffer the counter

CalStateTempe · Post by **CalStateTempe** » Mon Dec 30, 2019 4:17 pm

Wasn’t home, was driving up from sf when we decided to go.

Humanity is full of idiots.

scumdevils86 · Post by **scumdevils86** » Tue Dec 31, 2019 10:42 pm

Cool, pretty sure my heater is broken. It's 60 and dropping in the house and it's set at 66 and won't turn on. I'm sure it'll only take 3-9 days for the landlord to respond and do anything about it.

azgreg · Post by **azgreg** » Mon Jan 13, 2020 2:58 pm

This cold is kicking my ass.

azgreg · Post by **azgreg** » Tue Jan 14, 2020 9:31 am

I am single handily keeping NyQuil and Halls in business.
'

dovecanyoncat · Post by **dovecanyoncat** » Tue Jan 14, 2020 10:06 am

I think I'm catching your bug. Thanks a lot.

Longhorned · Post by **Longhorned** » Tue Jan 14, 2020 10:14 am

azgreg wrote:I am single handily keeping NyQuil and Halls in business.
'

My doctor got me on board with how much more effective FloNase is than those. Any symptoms beyond what FloNase can handle are eviscerated by whiskey.

dovecanyoncat · Post by **dovecanyoncat** » Wed Jan 15, 2020 4:28 pm

Need morphine. Can anybody kick down?

Post by **UAdevil** » Wed Jan 15, 2020 6:56 pm

Cox internet has been down for 18 hours over a wide death of the western US...

scumdevils86 · Post by **scumdevils86** » Wed Jan 15, 2020 7:19 pm

I live at Prince and Campbell and it's been fine for me. ASUHATER lives at Fort Lowell and Campbell and it's been out all day.

ASUHATER! · Post by **ASUHATER!** » Wed Jan 15, 2020 7:38 pm

Yeah 21 hours now with the internet out at home. Love paying Cox $98 a month for this.

Chicat · Post by **Chicat** » Wed Jan 15, 2020 8:19 pm

UAdevil wrote:Cox internet has been down for 18 hours over a wide death of the western US...

I think you meant to type “swath” but I love the descriptor “death” so much more.

dovecanyoncat · Post by **dovecanyoncat** » Tue Jan 21, 2020 4:28 pm

Fucking flu. Sick and tired of being sick and tired. High points of an entire week: made RAP picks; shaved once.

Merkin · Post by **Merkin** » Tue Jan 21, 2020 4:36 pm

ASUHATER! wrote:Yeah 21 hours now with the internet out at home. Love paying Cox $98 a month for this.

That happened one time with Comcast where I live. Ended up using my cell phone as a mobile hotspot, which is free with AT&T. Actually worked pretty good, could even stream Netflix.

84Cat · Post by **84Cat** » Tue Jan 21, 2020 5:07 pm

ASUHATER! wrote:Yeah 21 hours now with the internet out at home. Love paying Cox $98 a month for this.

I'm 2 blocks from you on Kleindale between Mtn & Campbell and I have had no problems but my neighbor at Kleindale & Campbell has been out too. Sucks!

Longhorned · Post by **Longhorned** » Tue Jan 21, 2020 5:15 pm

I’m thinking I’ll quit Cox and switch to Century Link.

Longhorned · Post by **Longhorned** » Fri Jan 24, 2020 1:46 pm

Get me out of here. I’m about to stab myself in the eye. I wish these people would shut up. Do they enjoy hearing each other? Where is a river of hot lava to jump into when you need it? Everything that destined me to sit in this chair and endure this meeting can go get choked on a circus horse’s dick. I hope I have body odor I wasn’t aware of.

Chicat · Post by **Chicat** » Fri Jan 24, 2020 1:51 pm

Longhorned wrote:Get me out of here. I’m about to stab myself in the eye. I wish these people would shut up. Do they enjoy hearing each other? Where is a river of hot lava to jump into when you need it? Everything that destined me to sit in this chair and endure this meeting can go get choked on a circus horse’s dick. I hope I have body odor I wasn’t aware of.

Put your phone (on vibrate) on the table.

Have one of us call you four times in a row and then text you.

Annoyingly glance at the text, then jump up and bolt out of the room.

Everyone will just assume there was some kind of awful family emergency (eg.- your parrot was killed in a home invasion) and you’re free for the rest of the day.

wyo-cat · Post by **wyo-cat** » Fri Jan 24, 2020 2:19 pm

kids are the best excuse for leaving work.

CalStateTempe · Post by **CalStateTempe** » Fri Jan 24, 2020 3:11 pm

Longhorned wrote:Get me out of here. I’m about to stab myself in the eye. I wish these people would shut up. Do they enjoy hearing each other? Where is a river of hot lava to jump into when you need it? Everything that destined me to sit in this chair and endure this meeting can go get choked on a circus horse’s dick. I hope I have body odor I wasn’t aware of.

Leadership development committee meeting?!?

Lol

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