Coronavirus League

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Longhorned
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Coronavirus League

Post by Longhorned »

Select posters will be experiencing a major world event with origins in the exotic Far East, spreading body-to-body to a body near you, perhaps your own. Let us know about the colds you're paranoid about, your flu that you wish you could trade for the Coronavirus, and your confirmed cases of the Real Deal with hospital ordeals and all.

Every player will have instant fans following every detail you post, so please try not to be so full of yourself that you forget to update all the little people hiding in their homes reading this thread.

Winners will be decided when the CDC declares it's over. Of course, Alieberman is league commissioner.

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Last edited by Longhorned on Mon Mar 09, 2020 7:05 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Longhorned
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Re: Coronavirus League

Post by Longhorned »

Our first candidate for Patient O in Tucson is scumdevil, who has been in the thick of coronavirus watch since Thursday, March 5.
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Re: Coronavirus League

Post by catgrad97 »

My first thoughts reading the boards this morning: "Well, here comes a golden opportunity for Longhorned to post that pic from The Seventh Seal. Let's see how he does it!"

The man did not disappoint.
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Re: Coronavirus League

Post by Alieberman »

I accept.

Pro tip- The best way to stay healthy..... regular naps.
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Re: Coronavirus League

Post by dovecanyoncat »

Image
“Conservatism consists of exactly one proposition …There must be in-groups whom the law protects but does not bind, alongside out-groups whom the law binds but does not protect.”

~ Wilhoit's Law
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Re: Coronavirus League

Post by CalStateTempe »

Does administrative coronavirus count?

Because I have this version bad and it’s ruining my life...
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Re: Coronavirus League

Post by Longhorned »

CalStateTempe wrote:Does administrative coronavirus count?

Because I have this version bad and it’s ruining my life...
What is it?
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Re: Coronavirus League

Post by CalStateTempe »

Case definition: managing the politics and mitigation of mass hysteria within a health system

Symptoms:incessant checking of email, insomnia, behavioral and cognitive changes, weight gain.
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Re: Coronavirus League

Post by RichardCranium »

Meanwhile in Australia...

Any sufficiently advanced troll is indistinguishable from a genuine kook.
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Re: Coronavirus League

Post by Chicat »

The first rule of Coronavirus League is Don’t Talk About Coronavirus League.

Rules 2 through 11 are Wash Your Motherfucking Hands.
Of the 12 coaches, Rush picked the one whose fans have the deepest passion, the longest memories, the greatest lung capacity and … did I mention deep passion?
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Re: Coronavirus League

Post by CatsbyAZ »

And I said, ‘That last thing is what you can't get...Nobody can get to that last thing. We keep on living in hopes of catching it once and for all.’ Jack Kerouac, On The Road
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Re: Coronavirus League

Post by CatsbyAZ »

And I said, ‘That last thing is what you can't get...Nobody can get to that last thing. We keep on living in hopes of catching it once and for all.’ Jack Kerouac, On The Road
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Irish27
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Re: Coronavirus League

Post by Irish27 »

2019 & 2021 Basketball RAP Winner/2022 Football RAP Winner
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Re: Coronavirus League

Post by Longhorned »

Irish27 wrote:
Never trust a bean burrito.
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Re: Coronavirus League

Post by Irish27 »

2019 & 2021 Basketball RAP Winner/2022 Football RAP Winner
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Re: Coronavirus League

Post by Irish27 »

2019 & 2021 Basketball RAP Winner/2022 Football RAP Winner
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Re: Coronavirus League

Post by RichardCranium »

On a brighter note, my test results came back negative...

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Re: Coronavirus League

Post by UAEebs86 »

:lol:
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Re: Coronavirus League

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Re: Coronavirus League

Post by CalStateTempe »

:lol:
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Re: Coronavirus League

Post by dovecanyoncat »

Now that we are entering April, a month that will test society's ability to deal with the undeniable reality of the virus, I wonder how many days it will take for the gunned-up TrumpCucks to freak out. They transitioned from HOAX! to LIBERAL LIE! to PRAYER WORKS! to TYRANNY! but eventually they'll start shooting people for sneezing at an ATM. Will they form Gasmask Militias and prowl their towns in jacked-up mudders randomly taking temperatures at gunpoint and making arrests? Will they take over hospitals and ration care to Real Americans who pass loyalty tests in the lines outside? If the OrangeDoucheBag doesn't praise them he may have to kill them or at least send Stephen Miller to organize them properly. And when the hysteria reaches the point of madness in the conservative brain will their leader take hostages in a local newsroom and begin his manifesto, take off his balaclava and show himself to be dmjcat?

Pick your calendar dates and place your bets.
“Conservatism consists of exactly one proposition …There must be in-groups whom the law protects but does not bind, alongside out-groups whom the law binds but does not protect.”

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Re: Coronavirus League

Post by UAEebs86 »

UAEebs86
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Re: Coronavirus League

Post by UAEebs86 »

Oh the humanity!

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Re: Coronavirus League

Post by RichardCranium »

Any sufficiently advanced troll is indistinguishable from a genuine kook.
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Re: Coronavirus League

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Any sufficiently advanced troll is indistinguishable from a genuine kook.
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Re: Coronavirus League

Post by Longhorned »

If scientists proved with 100% certainty that you’d gain immunity from this virus if you swam across a 30 yard-long stretch of ocean that had a great white shark swimming in it, would you do it?
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Re: Coronavirus League

Post by dovecanyoncat »

I'd insist on the "scientists" personally demonstrating the test data. It's science after all, so it's repeatable. Strip down and dive in Doc! Beaches are open in Florida!
“Conservatism consists of exactly one proposition …There must be in-groups whom the law protects but does not bind, alongside out-groups whom the law binds but does not protect.”

~ Wilhoit's Law
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Re: Coronavirus League

Post by UAEebs86 »

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Re: Coronavirus League

Post by CalStateTempe »

Longhorned wrote:If scientists proved with 100% certainty that you’d gain immunity from this virus if you swam across a 30 yard-long stretch of ocean that had a great white shark swimming in it, would you do it?
I’d rather sip my best friend from residency who tested positive and is sick but improving at home’s beer for my route to immunity.

I’ll take covid odds for my age and stage over hungry great white.

Good question.
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Re: Coronavirus League

Post by Longhorned »

I’d actually go for the great white shark option. I think I’d be fine if I swam under the surface, coming up for a breath every 15 feet or so when I could look through my goggles and see where he is. I’d have a spear strapped to my back, and I’d lunge it at his nose if he got too close.
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Re: Coronavirus League

Post by Merkin »

Many graceful swimmers don't have a problem with sharks. It's just the ones that panic that attract the sharks, since they think it's an injured aquatic animal of some sort.

Or so I have been told. I am not a graceful swimmer, and probably haven't swam in 20 years or so due to bad shoulders, so not an issue.
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Re: Coronavirus League

Post by Longhorned »

Merkin wrote:Many graceful swimmers don't have a problem with sharks. It's just the ones that panic that attract the sharks, since they think it's an injured aquatic animal of some sort.

Or so I have been told. I am not a graceful swimmer, and probably haven't swam in 20 years or so due to bad shoulders, so not an issue.
That’s why I’d swim under the surface. If I swam on the surface, all that flailing and splashing would seem like some kind of injured animal. Down in the water, in the shark’s imagination I could conceivably be a threatening monster who just happens to choose to move along really slowly.
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Re: Coronavirus League

Post by dovecanyoncat »

Note to self: buy a surfboard that comports itself gracefully.
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Re: Coronavirus League

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Re: Coronavirus League

Post by CalStateTempe »

My wife just informed me we are about 3weeks away from going to Mexico style toileting protocol if we cannot find tp.

For the past week I have been searching at 6am in the way into work and I have been unable to source TP and yeast any where in the greater Sacramento metro area.
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Re: Coronavirus League

Post by Longhorned »

What does the yeast do? Disguise the stink in our assholes?
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Re: Coronavirus League

Post by CalStateTempe »

Longhorned wrote:What does the yeast do? Disguise the stink in our assholes?
We’re into freaky shit up here in NorCal LH. :lol:
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Re: Coronavirus League

Post by dovecanyoncat »

My asshole smells like rosewater.
“Conservatism consists of exactly one proposition …There must be in-groups whom the law protects but does not bind, alongside out-groups whom the law binds but does not protect.”

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Re: Coronavirus League

Post by Longhorned »

With daycare, anything is possible.

Without daycare, nothing is possible.

Can you imagine those NASA engineers trying to bring home Apollo 13 while trying to take care of 3 year-olds?

Thank you all for putting out the fires and coming up with the complex solutions. I wish I could contribute.
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Re: Coronavirus League

Post by UAEebs86 »

Longhorned wrote:With daycare, anything is possible.

Without daycare, nothing is possible.

Can you imagine those NASA engineers trying to bring home Apollo 13 while trying to take care of 3 year-olds?

Thank you all for putting out the fires and coming up with the complex solutions. I wish I could contribute.


Failure is not an option!
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Re: Coronavirus League

Post by Chicat »

dovecanyoncat wrote:My asshole smells like rosewater.
I’m in awe of your flexibility.
Of the 12 coaches, Rush picked the one whose fans have the deepest passion, the longest memories, the greatest lung capacity and … did I mention deep passion?
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Re: Coronavirus League

Post by dovecanyoncat »

Chicat wrote:
dovecanyoncat wrote:My asshole smells like rosewater.
I’m in awe of your flexibility.
Impressive, I know.
“Conservatism consists of exactly one proposition …There must be in-groups whom the law protects but does not bind, alongside out-groups whom the law binds but does not protect.”

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Re: Coronavirus League

Post by Longhorned »

My homemade face mask has a print with apples and pears.

Here's the method I'm using:

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Re: Coronavirus League

Post by Merkin »

I don't have to go far for this one.


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Re: Coronavirus League

Post by Longhorned »

I’m going to the grocery store tomorrow with a mask made of one pair of underwear briefs covered with a T-shirt up to my eyes, so the briefs really are underwear. The cashier will say to me through the plexiglass, “I like your mask!” And I’ll think to myself, “Is she hitting on me?”
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Re: Coronavirus League

Post by UAEebs86 »

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Re: Coronavirus League

Post by UAEebs86 »

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Re: Coronavirus League

Post by Longhorned »

Had a plumbing emergency in our house. What was I supposed to do? Live without running water? Or bring a plumber in the house to spread his virus all over us? It was a tough call.

He made my wife help him while I was teaching my class on Zoom. And then she couldn't wash her hands because the water was off. Her hands are now all over her face like you wouldn't believe.

Now I get to drown in anxiety.
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Re: Coronavirus League

Post by ByJoveByJingle »

In another world, that’s a well-plotted pornhub video.
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Re: Coronavirus League

Post by Merkin »

UAEebs86 wrote:


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