The Random Thoughts Thread

Chicat · Post by **Chicat** » Wed Mar 25, 2020 9:42 am

I’m thinking of becoming a heroin addict.

UAEebs86 · Post by **UAEebs86** » Wed Mar 25, 2020 9:44 am

Chicat wrote:I’m thinking of becoming a heroin addict.

Make sure your dealer practices good social distancing.

Chicat · Post by **Chicat** » Wed Mar 25, 2020 10:00 am

UAEebs86 wrote:
Chicat wrote:I’m thinking of becoming a heroin addict.

Make sure your dealer practices good social distancing.

Are you volunteering?

I’d prefer to get it in the mail. Or thrown at me from a distance...

Longhorned · Post by **Longhorned** » Wed Mar 25, 2020 10:58 am

I went on a walk this morning for the first time, and I was like, "Holy shit! I'm in Arizona. It's fucking beautiful here."

There was sunshine and mountains and citrus trees and cactuses and lizards and birds.

I had honestly forgotten I was in a place.

dovecanyoncat · Post by **dovecanyoncat** » Wed Mar 25, 2020 12:58 pm

There's a 3 hour trail just behind our house. This is our daily therapy lifeline. We're irritated and grumpy when we start and we're damn near normal upon return. Normal is beginning to become underrated.

cpt · Post by **cpt** » Wed Mar 25, 2020 1:12 pm

What fast food restaurant makes you have to take a dump the fastest after eating it? For me it’s Chipotle. I sometimes have to take a dump if I just walk by that place and smell it.

UAEebs86 · Post by **UAEebs86** » Wed Mar 25, 2020 1:25 pm

cpt wrote:What fast food restaurant makes you have to take a dump the fastest after eating it? For me it’s Chipotle. I sometimes have to take a dump if I just walk by that place and smell it.

cpt · Post by **cpt** » Wed Mar 25, 2020 1:30 pm

UAEebs86 wrote:
cpt wrote:What fast food restaurant makes you have to take a dump the fastest after eating it? For me it’s Chipotle. I sometimes have to take a dump if I just walk by that place and smell it.

That's awesome. I sometimes forget how great South Park is.

ByJoveByJingle · Post by **ByJoveByJingle** » Wed Mar 25, 2020 1:59 pm

cpt wrote:What fast food restaurant makes you have to take a dump the fastest after eating it? For me it’s Chipotle. I sometimes have to take a dump if I just walk by that place and smell it.

Never had this happen to me and I eat a lot of fast food. Maybe that’s why? But damn, the second I walk into a bookstore I instantaneously have to take a massive dump. I think maybe it started from squatting down to browse the bottom shelf. But now it’s a conditioned behavior. Just the smell of newly printed books is enough to send me on a furious search for the nearest restroom.

George Costanza · Post by **George Costanza** » Wed Mar 25, 2020 2:07 pm

ByJoveByJingle wrote:
cpt wrote:What fast food restaurant makes you have to take a dump the fastest after eating it? For me it’s Chipotle. I sometimes have to take a dump if I just walk by that place and smell it.
Never had this happen to me and I eat a lot of fast food. Maybe that’s why? But damn, the second I walk into a bookstore I instantaneously have to take a massive dump. I think maybe it started from squatting down to browse the bottom shelf. But now it’s a conditioned behavior. Just the smell of newly printed books is enough to send me on a furious search for the nearest restroom.

I got news for you, if it wasn't for the toilet, there would be no books.

They're selling coffee, bran muffins... you're surrounded by reading material... It's entrapment!

Chicat · Post by **Chicat** » Wed Mar 25, 2020 2:14 pm

George Costanza is the sock no one knew we desperately needed at this moment in time.

scumdevils86 · Post by **scumdevils86** » Wed Mar 25, 2020 2:15 pm

Lmfao no kidding.

ASUHATER! · Post by **ASUHATER!** » Wed Mar 25, 2020 2:35 pm

cpt wrote:What fast food restaurant makes you have to take a dump the fastest after eating it? For me it’s Chipotle. I sometimes have to take a dump if I just walk by that place and smell it.

as someone who no longer has a gallbladder all fast food makes me regret it within 20 minutes

Chicat · Post by **Chicat** » Wed Mar 25, 2020 3:20 pm

cpt wrote:What fast food restaurant makes you have to take a dump the fastest after eating it? For me it’s Chipotle. I sometimes have to take a dump if I just walk by that place and smell it.

Steak & Shake, which I’m guessing is just a midwest thing?

Longhorned · Post by **Longhorned** » Wed Mar 25, 2020 6:56 pm

Chicat wrote:
cpt wrote:What fast food restaurant makes you have to take a dump the fastest after eating it? For me it’s Chipotle. I sometimes have to take a dump if I just walk by that place and smell it.
Steak & Shake, which I’m guessing is just a midwest thing?

Since so many people in Arizona are from Chicago, they talk about it all the time like it's the most amazing culinary experience of their lives.

What's up with table service in a fast food restaurant?

azgreg · Post by **azgreg** » Wed Mar 25, 2020 6:57 pm

Never been in a Steak and Shake. Am I missing anything?

Longhorned · Post by **Longhorned** » Wed Mar 25, 2020 6:59 pm

azgreg wrote:Never been in a Steak and Shake. Am I missing anything?

I think it's somewhere between Jack-in-the-Box and Burger King, but with a high school waitress who takes your order at your table, and a much worse aesthetic.

azgreg · Post by **azgreg** » Wed Mar 25, 2020 7:03 pm

Longhorned wrote:
azgreg wrote:Never been in a Steak and Shake. Am I missing anything?
I think it's somewhere between Jack-in-the-Box and Burger King, but with a high school waitress who takes your order at your table, and a much worse aesthetic.

I pictured a Johnny Rockets with steaks instead of burgers.

Chicat · Post by **Chicat** » Wed Mar 25, 2020 7:10 pm

azgreg wrote:Never been in a Steak and Shake. Am I missing anything?

The runs.

Longhorned · Post by **Longhorned** » Wed Mar 25, 2020 7:15 pm

azgreg wrote:
Longhorned wrote:
azgreg wrote:Never been in a Steak and Shake. Am I missing anything?
I think it's somewhere between Jack-in-the-Box and Burger King, but with a high school waitress who takes your order at your table, and a much worse aesthetic.
I pictured a Johnny Rockets with steaks instead of burgers.

The steaks are the burgers, and Johnny Rockets is better by so many magnitudes, scientists get confused because they know Johnny Rockets isn't very good, either.

dovecanyoncat · Post by **dovecanyoncat** » Wed Mar 25, 2020 7:15 pm

ByJoveByJingle wrote:
cpt wrote:What fast food restaurant makes you have to take a dump the fastest after eating it? For me it’s Chipotle. I sometimes have to take a dump if I just walk by that place and smell it.
Never had this happen to me and I eat a lot of fast food. Maybe that’s why? But damn, the second I walk into a bookstore I instantaneously have to take a massive dump. I think maybe it started from squatting down to browse the bottom shelf. But now it’s a conditioned behavior. Just the smell of newly printed books is enough to send me on a furious search for the nearest restroom.

OMFG! I had to read your post to my wife because she has to deal with this happening to me every damn time. It's almost instantaneous and relentless. I thought I was the only one. Sob! I'm not alone!

Longhorned · Post by **Longhorned** » Wed Mar 25, 2020 7:48 pm

dovecanyoncat wrote:
ByJoveByJingle wrote:
cpt wrote:What fast food restaurant makes you have to take a dump the fastest after eating it? For me it’s Chipotle. I sometimes have to take a dump if I just walk by that place and smell it.
Never had this happen to me and I eat a lot of fast food. Maybe that’s why? But damn, the second I walk into a bookstore I instantaneously have to take a massive dump. I think maybe it started from squatting down to browse the bottom shelf. But now it’s a conditioned behavior. Just the smell of newly printed books is enough to send me on a furious search for the nearest restroom.
OMFG! I had to read your post to my wife because she has to deal with this happening to me every damn time. It's almost instantaneous and relentless. I thought I was the only one. Sob! I'm not alone!

Oh, no, no, no. Let's get this straight. I'm in the club, and I know many others that are, too. The problem is: e-books don't work. It has to be actual books. And your own bookshelves lose the magic over time. We need bookstores. So during the pandemic, we need to get ourselves to the drugstore and stock up on milk of magnesia.

dovecanyoncat · Post by **dovecanyoncat** » Thu Mar 26, 2020 5:56 pm

Now that's how you take a damn nap.

azgreg · Post by **azgreg** » Fri Mar 27, 2020 12:07 pm

Let the day drinking begin!

Chicat · Post by **Chicat** » Fri Mar 27, 2020 12:30 pm

azgreg wrote:Let the day drinking begin!

I’m 8 hours ahead of you.

PieceOfMeat · Post by **PieceOfMeat** » Fri Mar 27, 2020 3:13 pm

the toy that revealed the face of dr. claw is an abomination

dovecanyoncat · Post by **dovecanyoncat** » Fri Mar 27, 2020 8:16 pm

During this current lockdown economic shitstorm I'm going to adopt the Republican mindset and ignore data. I'm not going to weigh myself and I'm not going to check on my stock portfolio.

Mission Accomplished!

ByJoveByJingle · Post by **ByJoveByJingle** » Mon Mar 30, 2020 9:54 am

Can you ever really add too many sun-dried tomatoes to your salad?

RichardCranium · Post by **RichardCranium** » Mon Mar 30, 2020 10:29 pm

ByJoveByJingle wrote:Can you ever really add too many sun-dried tomatoes to your salad?

Yes. One is too many.

I hate sun-dried tomatoes. The skins are tough and the whole thing is tasteless.

Gimme FRESH tomatoes, properly ripened, in a salad if you please.

And you know those tomatoes that have been bread for thick tough skins so they can be shipped but are tasteless and have no nutritional value what-so-ever? I say avoid them like the plague.

Grow your own if you have to (cherry tomatoes are especially easy to grow massive quantities of), but we have to send a message that we are mad as hell and aren't gonna take it any more!

ByJoveByJingle · Post by **ByJoveByJingle** » Mon Mar 30, 2020 11:10 pm

RichardCranium wrote:
ByJoveByJingle wrote:Can you ever really add too many sun-dried tomatoes to your salad?
Yes. One is too many.

I hate sun-dried tomatoes. The skins are tough and the whole thing is tasteless.

Gimme FRESH tomatoes, properly ripened, in a salad if you please.

Are we talking about the same food?

And nothing wrong with having sun-dried AND juicy fresh tomatoes in the same salad. No need for anti-miscegenation laws in the salad bowl.

Longhorned · Post by **Longhorned** » Tue Mar 31, 2020 2:03 pm

Sun dried tomatoes are flavorless? What about raisins?

dovecanyoncat · Post by **dovecanyoncat** » Thu Apr 02, 2020 4:42 pm

Notes to self:

1. Don't get on the scale.
2. Don't check portfolio prices.
3. Don't go back to slash and burn comment posting on The Hill. Going full libtard on the morons may be fun but it's not good for ones health.

RichardCranium · Post by **RichardCranium** » Thu Apr 02, 2020 9:05 pm

Longhorned wrote:Sun dried tomatoes are flavorless? What about raisins?

You got me there. What about raisins?

Last time I checked raisins are made out of grapes (also currants) and sun dried tomatoes are made out of, um..., oh yeah..., tomatoes!

TucsonClip · Post by **TucsonClip** » Sat Apr 04, 2020 9:03 am

Adjusted my miles driven per year on my car insurance and saved $35/month. Highly recommend, especially for those working from home.

dovecanyoncat · Post by **dovecanyoncat** » Sun Apr 12, 2020 7:31 pm

In the moment of Covid-19 hoarding olive oil is waaaay more important than toilet paper. America has its priorities up its ass.

Longhorned · Post by **Longhorned** » Sun Apr 12, 2020 8:03 pm

dovecanyoncat wrote:In the moment of Covid-19 hoarding olive oil is waaaay more important than toilet paper. America has its priorities up its ass.

Apologies to all: I have three 1-liter bottles. I didn't mean to hoard. I just kept forgetting I already bought a bottle.

scumdevils86 · Post by **scumdevils86** » Sun Apr 12, 2020 9:05 pm

I have an about 2 liter bottle of the Kirkland organic olive oil. It's pretty amazing for the price.

dovecanyoncat · Post by **dovecanyoncat** » Sun Apr 12, 2020 9:06 pm

Longhorned wrote:
dovecanyoncat wrote:In the moment of Covid-19 hoarding olive oil is waaaay more important than toilet paper. America has its priorities up its ass.
Apologies to all: I have three 1-liter bottles. I didn't mean to hoard. I just kept forgetting I already bought a bottle.

You're going to hell, and it's all because you spurn the values that make America great. I applaud your depravity.

dovecanyoncat · Post by **dovecanyoncat** » Sun Apr 12, 2020 9:08 pm

scumdevils86 wrote:I have an about 2 liter bottle of the Kirkland organic olive oil. It's pretty amazing for the price.

You're no better, probably even worse. You're one of my few heroes.

Longhorned · Post by **Longhorned** » Sun Apr 12, 2020 10:44 pm

My new favorite olive oil is the Whole Foods all-California one.

CalStateTempe · Post by **CalStateTempe** » Mon Apr 13, 2020 6:27 am

There’s been a run in garlic.

I guess people are now worried about vampires.

Merkin · Post by **Merkin** » Mon Apr 13, 2020 6:34 am

Thankfully I stocked up on bacon last Saturday.

CalStateTempe · Post by **CalStateTempe** » Mon Apr 13, 2020 7:03 am

Also it’s pretty impressive how much weight one can put on after three days of wine and good food.

ByJoveByJingle · Post by **ByJoveByJingle** » Mon Apr 13, 2020 11:32 am

Merkin wrote:Thankfully I stocked up on bacon last Saturday.

Probably a discussion for the other board, but isn’t this guy implying that “these people throttling the economy” are at fault for the closing of this plant? Which was closed because of Covid-19 cases?!

SCCats · Post by **SCCats** » Mon Apr 13, 2020 12:50 pm

ByJoveByJingle wrote:
Merkin wrote:Thankfully I stocked up on bacon last Saturday.

Probably a discussion for the other board, but isn’t this guy implying that “these people throttling the economy” are at fault for the closing of this plant? Which was closed because of Covid-19 cases?!

Yes, it’s interesting.

Perhaps they’re implying that, having all been infected, they would’ve all kept working (?) and died one by one on the line(?).

At which time I assume the plant closes. Or you have one of the toughest career days ever looking for new employees. “Yes you’ll die on the job. But who really cares what might happen some weeks from now when you’re old and grey???”

pc in NM · Post by **pc in NM** » Mon Apr 13, 2020 12:58 pm

SCCats wrote:
ByJoveByJingle wrote:
Merkin wrote:Thankfully I stocked up on bacon last Saturday.

Probably a discussion for the other board, but isn’t this guy implying that “these people throttling the economy” are at fault for the closing of this plant? Which was closed because of Covid-19 cases?!
Yes, it’s interesting.

Perhaps they’re implying that, having all been infected, they would’ve all kept working (?) and died one by one on the line(?).

At which time I assume the plant closes. Or you have one of the toughest career days ever looking for new employees. “Yes you’ll die on the job. But who really cares what might happen some weeks from now when you’re old and grey???”

If this was Westworld, the all-knowing computer "Rehoboam" would have everybody blissfully ignorant of their limitations and pre-destined outcomes... COVID just got here too soon!!!

dovecanyoncat · Post by **dovecanyoncat** » Mon Apr 13, 2020 2:26 pm

Merkin wrote:Thankfully I stocked up on bacon last Saturday.

Don't all true preppers love bacon? Something must be worshiped while waiting out the holocaust.

RichardCranium · Post by **RichardCranium** » Mon Apr 13, 2020 6:05 pm

Chicat · Post by **Chicat** » Thu Apr 16, 2020 7:56 pm

I’ve taken up the baritone ukulele. Got it yesterday and I already know two songs.

I feel like a master of the universe.

azgreg · Post by **azgreg** » Thu Apr 16, 2020 7:59 pm

Chicat wrote:I’ve taken up the baritone ukulele. Got it yesterday and I already know two songs.

I feel like a master of the universe.

Hotel California and Shake It Off?

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