The Random Thoughts Thread

[dovecanyoncat]

IMO the test of a burger is its second half. If I'm wearing it on my elbows and I'm on my fifth napkin then even if it tasted good it's more of a patty soup on a plate than a sandwich.

[ghostwhitehorse]

Imma just leave this right here. . .

[Chicat]

So I temporarily lost my driver’s license. Couldn’t find it anywhere for like a week.

When I went to see if I could get a replacement online, the DMV said I had renewed my license online previously so this time I’d have to show up in person at a branch.

Then I looked closer and it was showing that my license had expired on my birthday in May. So apparently I’d been driving on an expired license for months, which is really just an invitation to catch a beating from a cop since my skin tone is more brown than they usually can stand.

Fast forward a few hours of frantic re-searching for my license and I end up finding it! (Wedged way down deep into a crease on the side of my seat in the car)

And what does it say on my license? That it doesn’t expire until 2023.

What the fuck? The DMV system thinks I’m driving on an expired license while my actual license gives me another 2 years before I need to renew.

I’m on hold with them right now. No reason to give the high school losers who make up our police force a reason to use all the fancy equipment they’re issued to keep the undesirables in line.

[UAEebs86]

No worries Chi. I'm sure the cop would look at your actual license first.


And then give you a beating for altering your ID...

[Spaceman Spiff]

Nope, definitely not what I was expecting.

I was expecting at the very least that whatever water was in there would have separated from the oil and milk fats and all the fake plastic fillers leaving a toxic liquid at the top and a hunk of unidentifiable solids at the bottom.

At the worst, I figured it would look like an ASU frat boy’s Petri dish bacterial results from an STD test.





Jerk

I am a jerk.

Fair enough. I think I generally assume packaged queso, non separated peanut butter, etc. are swimming in enough preservatives that they're basically immune to all environmental factors.

So in that vein, I wonder if we could combine the technology of Tostitos queso could be recombined into human body organs. If scientists could pull this off, human body function might be able to sustain itself indefinitely.

[Chicat]

No worries Chi. I'm sure the cop would look at your actual license first.


And then give you a beating for altering your ID...

Or looking at him sideways.

Or breathing.

[Chicat]

Nope, definitely not what I was expecting.

I was expecting at the very least that whatever water was in there would have separated from the oil and milk fats and all the fake plastic fillers leaving a toxic liquid at the top and a hunk of unidentifiable solids at the bottom.

At the worst, I figured it would look like an ASU frat boy’s Petri dish bacterial results from an STD test.





Jerk

I am a jerk.

Fair enough. I think I generally assume packaged queso, non separated peanut butter, etc. are swimming in enough preservatives that they're basically immune to all environmental factors.

So in that vein, I wonder if we could combine the technology of Tostitos queso could be recombined into human body organs. If scientists could pull this off, human body function might be able to sustain itself indefinitely.

I’m gonna live forever.

Thanks Tostitos!!!!

[Merkin]

Since alcohol is also a good preservative, I now know the key to immortality!

[scumdevils86]

That's a good reason for AZ drivers licenses to not expire till age 65. I still have until 2051 to get a new one.

[Chicat]

That's a good reason for AZ drivers licenses to not expire till age 65. I still have until 2051 to get a new one.

I always thought that was so ridiculous. When I got my Arizona drivers license and the clerk told me congrats, you won’t need to get another one for like 45 years I asked her wasn’t it possible that a whole lot could change during that time as far as my ability to see and think? She just stared blankly at me. Meanwhile at the next line over a woman was reading the eye chart to her husband who was trying to memorize every line.

Good ol’ Arizona!!!

[84Cat]

What, you don't want to be on the streets when my 94 year old FIL is driving? He can only see out of 1 eye and can barely hear

[Chicat]

What, you don't want to be on the streets when my 94 year old FIL is driving? He can only see out of 1 eye and can barely hear

I’d like to be about 250 feet behind him . . . just to see what happens.

[Longhorned]

Am I the only one here who's scared to go to the doctor's? I hate the conversation about why is my heart rate so high. It's because I'm panicking, if that's okay with you.

[Chicat]

I love the doctor.

A) She’s really pretty.
B) She has no issue with prescribing me fun drugs.

[dovecanyoncat]

Chi's DMV moment reminded me that last year we all of a sudden noticed our plates were expired. The DMV droid said we would be charged a late fee for renewing.

"Aren't y'all supposed to notify us when our plates are getting old?"
"Yup, we sent you a notice."
"Show me."
"Says here we sent you a letter."
"Never got it."
"Went to Tucson."
"Haven't lived there for over seven years."
"Anything else I can do for you?"

[Chicat]

Chi's DMV moment reminded me that last year we all of a sudden noticed our plates were expired. The DMV droid said we would be charged a late fee for renewing.

"Aren't y'all supposed to notify us when our plates are getting old?"
"Yup, we sent you a notice."
"Show me."
"Says here we sent you a letter."
"Never got it."
"Went to Tucson."
"Haven't lived there for over seven years."
"Anything else I can do for you?"

Sounds an awful lot like the conversation I had today.

“Sir, our system indicates your license is expired.”
“But I’m looking at it right now and it says 2023.”
“On my screen it says 2021.”
“I understand that, but my license says 2023.”
“Is there anything else I can help you with?”

[Longhorned]

I love the doctor.

A) She’s really pretty.
B) She has no issue with prescribing me fun drugs.

My doctor today wasn't entirely un-pretty, but he couldn't locate evidence for the heart condition I described, and he referred me to a psychologist for "intermittent anxiety."

[dovecanyoncat]

“Is there anything else I can help you with?”
"Not if I can't shit in your mouth over the phone."

[Chicat]

I love the doctor.

A) She’s really pretty.
B) She has no issue with prescribing me fun drugs.

My doctor today wasn't entirely un-pretty, but he couldn't locate evidence for the heart condition I described, and he referred me to a psychologist for "intermittent anxiety."

I feel like we may have different doctors.

[Chicat]

“Is there anything else I can help you with?”
"Not if I can't shit in your mouth over the phone."

…
“You could die … and then I could deal with whoever takes the headset from your cold dead empty head.”

[dovecanyoncat]

“Is there anything else I can help you with?”
"Not if I can't shit in your mouth over the phone."

…
“You could die … and then I could deal with whoever takes the headset from your cold dead empty head.”

"Yes, I'd like my first vanity plate: FOFFDMV"

[CatsbyAZ]

Those of you who drink Coke/Pepsi out of a Can - what are you doing tapping on the top before opening it?

So many do this!

[gronk4heisman]

Those of you who drink Coke/Pepsi out of a Can - what are you doing tapping on the top before opening it?

So many do this!

There is an urban legend that it stops it from fizzing over.

[Chicat]

Tapping the sides actually works.

[scumdevils86]

It's something I picked up with cans of too warm, shitty beer in college...

[Longhorned]

I doubt I do it, but video surveillance would prove I do. At this point, it's like the dog who walks in tight circles before sitting down on a ceramic floor.

[Chicat]

I feel like MythBusters did something on it.

Basically pressure builds and has no escape so it adheres to the metal. Tapping the sides causes the CO2 to release and rise to the top causing there to be gas on top of liquid. So when you open it, all the CO2 escapes out of the opening as opposed to rushing up from the sides and bottom taking the liquid along with it.

Ok, that explanation sucked, but that’s the gist.

[EastCoastCat]

I wish I can get back those 2 minutes of my life reading those last few posts...

[Chicat]

I wish I can get back those 2 minutes of my life reading those last few posts...

What would you do with those two minutes?

Try out an alternate ass wiping method?

[UAEebs86]

I wish I can get back those 2 minutes of my life reading those last few posts...

What would you do with those two minutes?

Try out an alternate ass wiping method?

Here you go ECC:

viewtopic.php?p=117230#p117230

[EastCoastCat]

I wish I can get back those 2 minutes of my life reading those last few posts...

What would you do with those two minutes?

Try out an alternate ass wiping method?

I'm all ears if you got a good one, sure. Right now I've switched to the left hand wrap around. Working out quite nicely.

[Chicat]

I wish I can get back those 2 minutes of my life reading those last few posts...

What would you do with those two minutes?

Try out an alternate ass wiping method?

I'm all ears if you got a good one, sure. Right now I've switched to the left hand wrap around. Working out quite nicely.

I use toilet paper, but you do you Stinky…

[azgreg]

I wish I can get back those 2 minutes of my life reading those last few posts...

What would you do with those two minutes?

Try out an alternate ass wiping method?

I'm all ears if you got a good one, sure. Right now I've switched to the left hand wrap around. Working out quite nicely.

[azgreg]

[CatsbyAZ]

I wish I can get back those 2 minutes of my life reading those last few posts...

What would you do with those two minutes?

Try out an alternate ass wiping method?

[Longhorned]

If soy sauce on rice is wrong then I don't want to be right.

[scumdevils86]

Is it really wrong?

[Longhorned]

Says the internet. I agree that correctly cooked short grain white rice is perfect and a blank slate and all that, but when it's brown, it's never good enough on its own. Whereas brown rice and white rice taste the same when you add a few drops of soy sauce to them. And it's always really good.

[Merkin]

All I eat is brown rice, at least at home. It's whole grain and hasn't the bran and germ removed like white rice. But no soy, it's extremely high in sodium, although I loved it when I had low blood pressure. Thanks a lot pandemic!

But is there a worse smell for those that love to hangout in their backyard like I do, than your neighbor using lighter fluid to start their barbecue?

Especially here in the Central Coast. How embarrassing if you have to use lighter fluid. Makes me gag. Just an awful smell.

[Longhorned]

Why on earth does anyone use lighter fluid? It smells and it's kind of scary, and it doesn't work as well as a chimney thing.

[scumdevils86]

I literally just ate a big pile of brown rice 2 days ago. I couldn't handle it on its own.

So I made a sauce of equal parts light soy sauce, dark soy sauce, oyster sauce, chingkiang black vinegar, and a few drops of toasted sesame oil. That really made it perfect.

[scumdevils86]

I've also never used lighter fluid as an adult. Have this and a bunch of old packing newspaper. Works like a charm.

[dovecanyoncat]

All I eat is brown rice, at least at home. It's whole grain and hasn't the bran and germ removed like white rice. But no soy, it's extremely high in sodium, although I loved it when I had low blood pressure. Thanks a lot pandemic!

But is there a worse smell for those that love to hangout in their backyard like I do, than your neighbor using lighter fluid to start their barbecue?

Especially here in the Central Coast. How embarrassing if you have to use lighter fluid. Makes me gag. Just an awful smell.

But it's an iconic Boomer olfactory memory trigger, like Sea 'N Ski.

[Longhorned]

I literally just ate a big pile of brown rice 2 days ago. I couldn't handle it on its own.

So I made a sauce of equal parts light soy sauce, dark soy sauce, oyster sauce, chingkiang black vinegar, and a few drops of toasted sesame oil. That really made it perfect.

I really like that chingkiang black vinegar.

For brown rice, I stand by this Japanese person's (Nami) super easy recipe where you soak it 6-12 hours and cook it in the Instant Pot:

https://www.justonecookbook.com/instant-pot-brown-rice/

I use this rice both for white and brown:

https://www.amazon.com/Sukoyaka-Brown-R ... 218&sr=8-2

It comes out sticky and it tastes pleasant. The problem is that the bran basically conceals the aromatic, cereal-y flavor you get with the white rice. So I feel like nothing's lost if I flavor it.

[Longhorned]

I've also never used lighter fluid as an adult. Have this and a bunch of old packing newspaper. Works like a charm.

I remember when my chimney was new and looked like that. Now it's all beat up and dulled and dirty and dented, like something left in the bottom of the truckload of salvage junk hauled by Sanford & Son.

[azgreg]

My cats are kleptomaniacs.

[Longhorned]

If that's your yard, where are all the ridiculous weeds from these rains? My gravel yard if fully green. It's literally covered in tall grasses.

[CatsbyAZ]

You guys remember those dude mags Maxim, FHM, and Stuffed? I remember those being a big thing through the 2000s when I was finishing up high school. Are they still around? Haven't come across one in a LONG time. Last issue I can remember noticing had the bottle blonde from Big Bang Theory on its cover (2008?). Wondering if all the Instagram modeling has made Maxim obsolete.

[Merkin]

You guys remember those dude mags Maxim, FHM, and Stuffed? I remember those being a big thing through the 2000s when I was finishing up high school. Are they still around? Haven't come across one in a LONG time. Last issue I can remember noticing had the bottle blonde from Big Bang Theory on its cover (2008?). Wondering if all the Instagram modeling has made Maxim obsolete.

Last one I remember seeing is the Jessica Biel one when she was on Seventh Heaven and wanted to get off the show.

[Chicat]

I had that issue.

Big fan.