Why I Own The World

[azgreg]

He's gonna wanna drive your wife's brand new car.

Qevin McCarthy has a better shot of being speaker.

[dovecanyoncat]

Gonna sign closing docs for sale of the Sedona house tomorrow. The market rolled over two months before we listed ...... of course! ...... and despite accepting an offer 6% under asking I'm feeling pretty relieved. It was the sole offer and the buyer was a neurotic pain in the ass. If she manufactures a reason to bail at this late date I will definitely keep her earnest money.

The latest CPI print gives ample cover for J Powell to keep rates high for some time so I have a bad feeling about the intermediate future of the residential real estate market. Heaven knows I'm never wrong about these things, noooooooo ........

[Lando05]

Hit my first hole in 1 today. Par 3 136 yards. Hit my 9 iron 1 bounce and rolled in. Still can't believe it.

[Merkin]

Woohoo! Never even came close. Nice work Lando.

[CatsbyAZ]

I just survived a dreaded Timeshare Presentation.

Thanks to my employer booking us into Homewood Suites or Hilton Gardens when sending us on work travel, we're all Hilton Honors members. It's been this way for a while, and though I don't work-travel too much, I still accumulate enough "points" for free weekend stays about once or twice a year. All was good until this year when Hilton started soliciting me for their Hilton Grand Vacation Ownerships (Timeshares). They called a few times, cheery as anything (but also relentless) to offer a free weekend in Vegas for attending one of their seminars, which I turned down until having to hang up one them.

After four years of Hilton on my case about taking up one of their free-stay deals in exchange for attending a "portfolio presentation" I finally caved because the dates they gave me at a N. Scottsdale property lines up with time I wanted to spend in the PHX area this week.

To ready for Hilton's sales pitch I did a ton of research. For example...

Why is Hilton, a Fortune 500 company, in on the timeshare game???

It turns out Hilton is split into different companies - Hilton Worldwide owns all the properties and operates the hotel properties whereas Hilton Grand Vacation Club is a spin-off that runs the timeshare side of the Hilton Brand. HGVC is an independently operated business that provides an additional income stream to Hilton by paying millions upon millions of profit to Hilton for use of their brand and properties.

This was an important discovery because as Attorney General’s offices in certain States have received many complaints against the timeshare industry over the years, the two timeshare operators – Hilton and Marriot – that are most sensitive to their brand, have calmed down the high-pressure ways that in the past has given the timeshare industry a reputation as low as that of Used Car Lots and Pay Day Loaning.

Which explains why this morning’s presentation went much better than I worried.

First off, the sales personnel were as respectful and courteous as they could be, though at the end they were understandably a tad dismissive once it set in that I didn’t plan on buying anything.

My survival plan turned what was supposed to be a 2hr “tour” into only 40 min:

-They ask how much you spend on hotels/year to frame how they can give you a good deal. My answer: ZERO. Which is true because when I am in a Hilton it is because of business travel. When this isn’t the case it is because I’m using Hilton Honors points for a free night or two in Las Vegas or Chicago. An answer of ZERO gives them little to work with.

-At some point presenters have to be very specific that they are offering you an ownership share to a deeded property. I can’t overstate how important this legality is. Especially considering how this seemed to go over the head of most others in attendance. When it was my time after the general presentation to be assigned to a dedicated salesman he was respectful but disappointed to answer the following questions:

1) So this is a legal property ownership? 2) Meaning property taxes are accrued? 3) To which State are property taxes paid? 4) To sell this property is the burden of the owner (me) not Hilton? 5) This property share is owned in perpetuity, not a contract that must be renewed at the end of ten years?

The last questions is worth asking because the initial offering reads like a 120 month contract. This is because after ten years the initial pricing you agreed to must be reset. Meaning you’re force into higher monthly fees.

Now for the pricing options for a 120 month agreement:
1. 7-10 nights/yr at any resort property for $14k, which can likely be talked down to $12k or even $10k.
2. 28-56 nights/yr at any resort property for $68k, which can likely be talked down to $55k.

At this point I felt bad for my salesman. Don't we both know he's selling such an unrealistic product? There are MANY unhappy timeshare owners offering their agreements for $1 on EBay. I didn’t tell my salesman this; by the time he was sharing pricing he realized I was a nonstarter.

After we ended things politely, I was escorted to another room by some sort of office manager who signed me out.

Your best option – please don’t even bother agreeing to attend timeshare presentations.

[Chicat]

Went to one once in Puerto Vallarta because our driver from the airport talked us into it by offering a free bottle of tequila and a zip lining excursion.

Did zero research, just looked at the clock the whole time. When the 100 minutes was up I demanded the bottle and excursion voucher and then grabbed Femcat (who was all ready to buy) and hightailed it the fuck out of there.

[Chicat]

Met with our financial advisor this week. Apparently we are on track to pay for our kids’ college and retire by 60 but won’t take Social Security until we are 67.

I don’t know what kind of voodoo bullshit he did with the math but it somehow didn’t involve us selling our house and becoming homeless hippies.

[84Cat]

Met with our financial advisor this week. Apparently we are on track to pay for our kids’ college and retire by 60 but won’t take Social Security until we are 67.

I don’t know what kind of voodoo bullshit he did with the math but it somehow didn’t involve us selling our house and becoming homeless hippies.

Congrats! It's a good feeling to know you got your financial shit together

[Chicat]

Met with our financial advisor this week. Apparently we are on track to pay for our kids’ college and retire by 60 but won’t take Social Security until we are 67.

I don’t know what kind of voodoo bullshit he did with the math but it somehow didn’t involve us selling our house and becoming homeless hippies.

Congrats! It's a good feeling to know you got your financial shit together

Credit goes where credit is due. Femcat is a saver.

I was actually inspired to post this brag because I looked up a calculator of where you need to be to retire depending on your age and we were way ahead of the game. And apparently my very friendly Canadian investment guru agrees.

[Merkin]

Well done Chi! You are hereby declared an honorary boomer!

[Chicat]

Well done Chi! You are hereby declared an honorary boomer!

Funny thing is I was just having a generation discussion with my 12-year-old. He thinks of us as Millenials because his friends’ parents are of that generation, but we had kids late so we are 5-10 years older than them.

In actuality we are GenX (or X-enials since we were born in ‘77 so right on the cusp) but I KNOW that kid actually thinks of us as Boomers. Like we watched Bob Hope and the Vietnam War on our old Black & White console TV. So I’m embracing it! Gonna start telling everyone my locked in interest rate and suggest anyone with a nose ring “just work harder”.

[dovecanyoncat]

Met with our financial advisor this week. Apparently we are on track to pay for our kids’ college and retire by 60 but won’t take Social Security until we are 67.

I don’t know what kind of voodoo bullshit he did with the math but it somehow didn’t involve us selling our house and becoming homeless hippies.

I hope you appreciate just how rare it is to have gotten on and stayed on course, especially having (presumably) missed the good market years from Reagan through Clinton. Now you get to plan for funding 40 goddamned years in retirement. And before you scoff at that number, don't.

Two kids and a value conscious wife .... you lucky fucking bastard.

[scumdevils86]

Congrats. You definitely have reached the same near unattainable dream for anyone under 50 these days. I know my wife and I basically get to choose between one of the three of comfortable current living, retirement, college funds. Not more than 1.

[Chicat]

Congrats. You definitely have reached the same near unattainable dream for anyone under 50 these days. I know my wife and I basically get to choose between one of the three of comfortable current living, retirement, college funds. Not more than 1.

You can borrow for #1 & #3, but not #2 (although I wouldn’t suggest borrowing for any of them).

[azcat49]

Well done Chi! You are hereby declared an honorary boomer!

Funny thing is I was just having a generation discussion with my 12-year-old. He thinks of us as Millenials because his friends’ parents are of that generation, but we had kids late so we are 5-10 years older than them.

In actuality we are GenX (or X-enials since we were born in ‘77 so right on the cusp) but I KNOW that kid actually thinks of us as Boomers. Like we watched Bob Hope and the Vietnam War on our old Black & White console TV. So I’m embracing it! Gonna start telling everyone my locked in interest rate and suggest anyone with a nose ring “just work harder”.

You forgot, “get off my lawn”

[scumdevils86]

Congrats. You definitely have reached the same near unattainable dream for anyone under 50 these days. I know my wife and I basically get to choose between one of the three of comfortable current living, retirement, college funds. Not more than 1.

You can borrow for #1 & #3, but not #2 (although I wouldn’t suggest borrowing for any of them).

Exactly my issue as someone who's tried to largely stay out of debt the last 5-10 years.

[OriginalAZ]

Met with our financial advisor this week. Apparently we are on track to pay for our kids’ college and retire by 60 but won’t take Social Security until we are 67.

I don’t know what kind of voodoo bullshit he did with the math but it somehow didn’t involve us selling our house and becoming homeless hippies.

Congrats. That is a great accomplishment. I was born in 77 also and I am counting down the days to early retirement. I'm sick of the grind.

[dovecanyoncat]

Funny thing is I was just having a generation discussion with my 12-year-old. He thinks of us as Millenials because his friends’ parents are of that generation, but we had kids late so we are 5-10 years older than them.

In actuality we are GenX (or X-enials since we were born in ‘77 so right on the cusp) but I KNOW that kid actually thinks of us as Boomers. Like we watched Bob Hope and the Vietnam War on our old Black & White console TV. So I’m embracing it! Gonna start telling everyone my locked in interest rate and suggest anyone with a nose ring “just work harder”.

Chi, if you (born in '77) are fully 20 FUCKING YEARS younger than I am (born in '57) you don't remotely get to bear the stain of Boomerism. I forbid! it! unreservedly! for both our sakes. You were too young to know '80s cheap weed and cocaine, and I'm too old to appreciate high education costs/shitty job markets. BACK TO THE SHADOW WITH YE!

[dovecanyoncat]

I own the world because I have successfully acquired and set up and synched a new PC and a new phone despite the handicap of my sieve-like Boomer brain.

I RULE!

FEAR ME!

and now, herewith, I nap .....

[Chicat]

Funny thing is I was just having a generation discussion with my 12-year-old. He thinks of us as Millenials because his friends’ parents are of that generation, but we had kids late so we are 5-10 years older than them.

In actuality we are GenX (or X-enials since we were born in ‘77 so right on the cusp) but I KNOW that kid actually thinks of us as Boomers. Like we watched Bob Hope and the Vietnam War on our old Black & White console TV. So I’m embracing it! Gonna start telling everyone my locked in interest rate and suggest anyone with a nose ring “just work harder”.

Chi, if you (born in '77) are fully 20 FUCKING YEARS younger than I am (born in '57) you don't remotely get to bear the stain of Boomerism. I forbid! it! unreservedly! for both our sakes. You were too young to know '80s cheap weed and cocaine, and I'm too old to appreciate high education costs/shitty job markets. BACK TO THE SHADOW WITH YE!

Get off my lawn I bought with a 3.25% fixed rate you old bitch.

[dovecanyoncat]

Funny thing is I was just having a generation discussion with my 12-year-old. He thinks of us as Millenials because his friends’ parents are of that generation, but we had kids late so we are 5-10 years older than them.

In actuality we are GenX (or X-enials since we were born in ‘77 so right on the cusp) but I KNOW that kid actually thinks of us as Boomers. Like we watched Bob Hope and the Vietnam War on our old Black & White console TV. So I’m embracing it! Gonna start telling everyone my locked in interest rate and suggest anyone with a nose ring “just work harder”.

Chi, if you (born in '77) are fully 20 FUCKING YEARS younger than I am (born in '57) you don't remotely get to bear the stain of Boomerism. I forbid! it! unreservedly! for both our sakes. You were too young to know '80s cheap weed and cocaine, and I'm too old to appreciate high education costs/shitty job markets. BACK TO THE SHADOW WITH YE!

Get off my lawn I bought with a 3.25% fixed rate you old bitch.

I paid cash for every house since '92 you idiot child. And I remember CDs yielding 15% while you were still being potty trained! HAR!

[scumdevils86]

This is what I come back for

[Chicat]

Funny thing is I was just having a generation discussion with my 12-year-old. He thinks of us as Millenials because his friends’ parents are of that generation, but we had kids late so we are 5-10 years older than them.

In actuality we are GenX (or X-enials since we were born in ‘77 so right on the cusp) but I KNOW that kid actually thinks of us as Boomers. Like we watched Bob Hope and the Vietnam War on our old Black & White console TV. So I’m embracing it! Gonna start telling everyone my locked in interest rate and suggest anyone with a nose ring “just work harder”.

Chi, if you (born in '77) are fully 20 FUCKING YEARS younger than I am (born in '57) you don't remotely get to bear the stain of Boomerism. I forbid! it! unreservedly! for both our sakes. You were too young to know '80s cheap weed and cocaine, and I'm too old to appreciate high education costs/shitty job markets. BACK TO THE SHADOW WITH YE!

Get off my lawn I bought with a 3.25% fixed rate you old bitch.

I paid cash for every house since '92 you idiot child. And I remember CDs yielding 15% while you were still being potty trained! HAR!

Well at least my dick still works without needing to yell at a cashier first.

[dovecanyoncat]

Funny thing is I was just having a generation discussion with my 12-year-old. He thinks of us as Millenials because his friends’ parents are of that generation, but we had kids late so we are 5-10 years older than them.

In actuality we are GenX (or X-enials since we were born in ‘77 so right on the cusp) but I KNOW that kid actually thinks of us as Boomers. Like we watched Bob Hope and the Vietnam War on our old Black & White console TV. So I’m embracing it! Gonna start telling everyone my locked in interest rate and suggest anyone with a nose ring “just work harder”.

Chi, if you (born in '77) are fully 20 FUCKING YEARS younger than I am (born in '57) you don't remotely get to bear the stain of Boomerism. I forbid! it! unreservedly! for both our sakes. You were too young to know '80s cheap weed and cocaine, and I'm too old to appreciate high education costs/shitty job markets. BACK TO THE SHADOW WITH YE!

Get off my lawn I bought with a 3.25% fixed rate you old bitch.

I paid cash for every house since '92 you idiot child. And I remember CDs yielding 15% while you were still being potty trained! HAR!

Well at least my dick still works without needing to yell at a cashier first.

Keep your aging erection, Junior, but take your fucking hands off my privilege. Boomers are the Princess Generation and we're all precious! MY TIARA TRUMPS YOUR SKATEBOARD!

[dovecanyoncat]

This is what I come back for

Don't get me started on Millennials. Boomers are the OG snowflakes. You infant poseurs need to step up your game. Besides, in my sans-a-belt pants I can change a 10-ply mud and snow tire faster than you can book a Cyber Tuesday Airbnb in your faux Birkenstocks!

[scumdevils86]

This is what I come back for

Don't get me started on Millennials. Boomers are the OG snowflakes. You infant poseurs need to step up your game. Besides, in my sans-a-belt pants I can change a 10-ply mud and snow tire faster than you can book a Cyber Tuesday Airbnb in your faux Birkenstocks!

I have real Birkenstocks thank you very much!

[dovecanyoncat]

This is what I come back for

Don't get me started on Millennials. Boomers are the OG snowflakes. You infant poseurs need to step up your game. Besides, in my sans-a-belt pants I can change a 10-ply mud and snow tire faster than you can book a Cyber Tuesday Airbnb in your faux Birkenstocks!

I have real Birkenstocks thank you very much!

ALL of my former pairs, if they still existed, would older than you! Wannabe hipsters to the back of the line!

[pc in NM]

This is what I come back for

Don't get me started on Millennials. Boomers are the OG snowflakes. You infant poseurs need to step up your game. Besides, in my sans-a-belt pants I can change a 10-ply mud and snow tire faster than you can book a Cyber Tuesday Airbnb in your faux Birkenstocks!

I have real Birkenstocks thank you very much!

ALL of my former pairs, if they still existed, would older than you! Wannabe hipsters to the back of the line!

When I lived in Tucson, I think about the only time I didn't wear my birkenstocks was when I was hiking or playing sports...

[dovecanyoncat]

This is what I come back for

Don't get me started on Millennials. Boomers are the OG snowflakes. You infant poseurs need to step up your game. Besides, in my sans-a-belt pants I can change a 10-ply mud and snow tire faster than you can book a Cyber Tuesday Airbnb in your faux Birkenstocks!

I have real Birkenstocks thank you very much!

ALL of my former pairs, if they still existed, would older than you! Wannabe hipsters to the back of the line!

When I lived in Tucson, I think about the only time I didn't wear my birkenstocks was when I was hiking or playing sports...

If you wouldn't have worn them throughout a Rocky Mountain or a coastal Oregon/Washington winter YOU'RE NOT A PLAYER!

[scumdevils86]

This is what I come back for

Don't get me started on Millennials. Boomers are the OG snowflakes. You infant poseurs need to step up your game. Besides, in my sans-a-belt pants I can change a 10-ply mud and snow tire faster than you can book a Cyber Tuesday Airbnb in your faux Birkenstocks!

I have real Birkenstocks thank you very much!

ALL of my former pairs, if they still existed, would older than you! Wannabe hipsters to the back of the line!

When I lived in Tucson, I think about the only time I didn't wear my birkenstocks was when I was hiking or playing sports...

Same. They are my universal footwear for 99% of occasions